Making love is something psychological and spiritual. When you have sex in love, it is with the intention of really caring about the person and melting into them, and sharing the joy of being together and being spiritually connected and trusting each other. Unfortunately some people have sex with almost anyone just because it feels good. I think its psychologically damaging to have sex with people who don't care much about you, because you would be left hurt. I think even for people who have sex for sex and think its OK, end up being hurt or disillusioned later, because its pretty pointless without love. Its just satisfying one urge, but you have it again later, and then you're never really satisfied (sex addiction).
But also I think a lot of people do bond from having sex, so it can turn into love. Because nature designed bonding (oxytocin) to keep a couple together so they can take care of a child, since sex in nature is designed for reproduction. Scientifically I think sex can become love. Conceptually in modern day society (think Sex and the City), a lot of people go round thinking sex is just sex and they can separate feelings and chemical signals and that they are above it but its not really true. I think love makes people healthier, and for me, having sex with someone is my expression of love for them. I wouldn't do it otherwise. Vice versa, for me to have sexual feelings for someone, they have to win me over in some way, and I feel sexual when I start to love the way they are, all the good things about that person.
(I am meaning this not in a negative or condescending way) but it is not psychologically damage to have sex with some one based on hormones, needs or urges. As long as both parties are on the same page, and yes it can be done. I have been in love with people and never made love to them. Granted this is my own experience and opinion but that's what this site is based on. Asking questions and having everyone input their own opinion.We're all different...
I think being in love with people and not making love to them is the opposite of what I was saying. I was saying it might be traumatizing for women to have sex with someone without loving them because of the chemical oxytocin which is released when you have sex and makes you want to bond with them, and also the spiritual side of it. I'm not saying it applies to everyone, but we all have pretty similar biology in some way, we just try to override that with our thinking.
I think guys generally have more one night stands or casual sex than females do because testosterone suppresses oxytocin. Its easy for them to seperate sex from love, biologically they do already. When men orgasm, they get a jolt of testosterone, and that suppresses oxytocin, a chemical for bonding. When women orgasm, they get a jolt of oxytocin, which makes them feel more like bonding. I mean women who can have casual sex probably have a clear mental concept that fights the chemical signals
sex is someone with whom you are physically attracted to and "making love" is having sex with someone you are in love with, there's a deeper connection, a union of both mind, body and soul (sounds corny right) but its true
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one is the self-improvement while the other is self-destruction.
I would think having sex is what reflects the purely animal part of being human. *Our physiological needs and impulses. Just like animals. It is a physical connection in which you are using each others' bodies for pleasure. Whereas Making Love in my opinion stands on a higher level than sex because it includes some degree of emotional connection and intimacy. In my opinion making love would have a greater amount of pleasure because you have hot, passionate sex while at the same time experiencing that emotional inner connection and intimacy, which makes it that much more pleasurable. ?
I agree
there is a HUGE difference. Sex is easy, to me its more about the action than the connection. I have made love a couple times and those times the major difference was sensuality and the connection among partners. If you haven't felt this yet you probably haven't made love. It's a lot more common to have sex than it is to make love.
Same actions, different meaning. You actually care about the person you make love with but you don't have to have that caring sense for someone you have sex with.
making love is slow and injoyable and beautiful sex is just a guy having an orgasim
You can have sex with anyone, it can just be for the physical pleasure. But making love shows how much you care about a person and that they mean so much to you in your life, it can't be done with just anyone
You can have sex with just anyone, but making love? You can't just make love with any person.
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