Why do guys think being a male virgin is a bad thing?

[pepper01]

personally I prefer a guy who is a virgin over a guy who is not. don't get me wrong I don't discriminate and I won't turn down a guy who is one or who isn't one but I feel that more guys put pressure on each other for being a virgin but honestly girls don't care! so why do guys think being a virgin is a bad thing?

[Investigator]

"personally I prefer a guy who is a virgin over a guy who is not"

That's a lie and you know it. You like a guy that has enough experience, i. e. is confident-enough, with women that he knows how to take charge. 50 Shades of Grey wasn't a best-seller with women for no reason.

"girls want a guy who is respectable and not being a whore and hoeing around"

While they want a guy that is respectable, they absolutely DO want a guy who is a whore. Not because they want to sleep with a guy whose been with a bunch of broads, but because they want a guy who is a whore for THEM. Same with guys: they don't want a girl that sleeps around, but they DO want a girl who has an insatiable sexual appetite that only they can sate.

"yes being experienced can be good"

"being experienced" isn't just good, it's EVERYTHING. This is the crux of the issue: what male virginity signals to women is that those men lack relationship experience and therefore do not know how to lead. More to the point, though, it signals that these men haven't--for lack of a better word--been "tested"; their social value is unverified and that presents a risk. Just like how people normally avoid products with few or no reviews, people avoid prospective partners with no history because they are unknowns. People like to know what kind of situation they are getting themselves into. If a guy has a reputation for being a player, that means that A) he's functional around women and B) he has an established territory, because there's no having to guess what kind of person he is. The devil you know is better than the devil you don't.

"also being experienced doesn't mean you know what you are doing in bed"

Yep, I could have been with a million women and not have learned how to be a good lover, this is true. But generally, it is accepted wisdom that you can only go through so many iterations of a situation before you start to develop an understanding of how things work and learn to adapt--unless you are just that dense. Then there's no hope.

P. S. I'm still not a good lover, but I've only been with two women, so...

[wallaber]

Personally I'm proud to be a virgin. It was a personal choice and both me and my girlfriend wish to wait till marriage.

[pepper01]

good for you :) ill give you best answer for being proud

[wallaber]

Thankyou :)

[nicenthic]

Pick-up artist lesson #1. Never take advice about women or dating from a woman.

[pepper01]

my best advice is to not take advice from nicenthic. he's an douchebag. trust me girls go for douchebags when we are young but as we get older we realize those whores aren't worth it and we go for nice guys :) we won't settle down for a whore either so I praise you :)

[MikeK]

Nope. nicenthic is right - never take advice about women from women. It just doesn't work.

[pepper01]

dont take advice from guys who are douchbags. the guys who get tons of women are the ones who are insecure. they NEED female attention to boost their low ego. be proud :)

[kaity-babee]

Oh I don't need to take advice from them, I'm proud of it, and confident, nothing is going to change that :)

[kaity-babee]

plus @mikeK wouldn't it be better to take advice from women about women ? because we know what we want better than you !

[nicenthic]

Actually, girls don't know what they want any more than they know their arsehole from their elbow. No girl will tell you that she wants a guy to be a confident d*** a lot of the time. But guess what, women respond to it like clockwork. They eat that sh*t up. And rightly so. No need to pretend to be a sissy politically correct emasculated man. Just do what we were made to do and bang scores of bitches.

[wallaber]

Why should I? It doesn't appeal to me, and I am happy with how things are going for me. Why should I alter happiness simply because its apparently 'not what we were made to do'?

[MikeK]

Again, nicenthic is correct - women really don't have any clue what they want themselves, so to confide in a successful male who pulls many bitches would be MUCH more advisable

[wallaber]

Definitely can't be said for all women. And maybe that might be advisable for a guy who wants to "pull many bitches", but again, it doesn't appeal to me, I'm happy with my girlfriend and I don't need your 'pick-up artist' advice.

[pepper01]

ANY guy who calls women bitches obviously has no respect for his mother, sister, aunts, future daughters, wife and girlfriends or even themselves. men don't realize that other men will be "pulling many bitches" meaning their daughters so learn to speak MikeK and stop being ignorant and @wallaber good for you :)

[ItsOnlyMiko]

I'm 20 and Virgin I'm going to wait to find a right girl for me

[pineappleshortcare]

Guys socialize by establishing a "pecking order." They compete in every way possible to find out who is the top dog and who is the minion. Thus, guys tend to worry about how they stack up against other guys. Whereas, females tend to value social harmony, so they get more emotional support for their insecurities from their peers. There are actually studies that back up that men and women socialize differently amongst their peers.

[SalsaShark9]

Hahahahahaha.

[Investigator]

"guys tend to worry about how they stack up against other guys... females to tend to value social harmony" While I'm not in complete disagreement with your assessment, you pretty much have that ass-backwards. Men get along with each other pretty well and women are bitches towards each other, in general.

[pineappleshortcare]

Guys perceive this a lot, but I don’t think they get the real reason why. Women have these big, intricate social circles that include people they don’t actually like. Friends of friends, people from clubs and groups, etc. And there’s this social expectation to be polite to them. Dudes are more likely to only hang with other dudes they actually get along with. So it’s not so much that female people are bitches to their friends, it’s that we feel pressured to spend all this energy on people we don’t want to be around.

[PoeticNinja]

I don't see it as a bad thing at all. I'm with you, I want a guy who is a virgin or is less experience.

I believe it's just the influence these days, in my opinion.. People are being exposed to sex at younger and younger ages. Some people get to the point they treat it as a hobby.

Guys need to embrace their virginity. I would love to hop on a virgin. As much as I would like to show him the ropes.

[pepper01]

girl you read my mind lol.

[peace-love-couture]

Guys on here think it's bad because they like to believe it's why they're single (it's just an excuse). The same way they use height as an excuse

Anyhoo, society *expects* men to be overly sexual and to begin sexual activities at a younger age

[pepper01]

i think the guys on here like to put the blame on girls for them being single but don't look internally as to know the real reason. I agree with you :)

[nicenthic]

You really need to learn how to spell.

[peace-love-couture]

I have good spelling, but thanks :)

[pepper01]

dont wory about nicenthic. he's an a**hole who is insecure

[peace-love-couture]

I'm not sure what his problem is. Guess he had a problem with "Anyhoo" which I did typed on purpose, so that's not my problem. Or, this might be Kain, which again, isn't my problem and the Admins will deal :)

[nova5084]

Because of the age-old archiac, neanderthal double standard rule...

Males are expected to be the dominate gender of the human species...the hunter, who puts notches on his belt of his female sexual contests and brags about it to his male counterparts as a badge of honor...

And let's not kid ourselves...there is definitely a strong perception if a male is still a virgin beyond let's say 21...that he may be a "homosexual"...and in many cultures and societies...regardless of whether it is fair or not...it is frowned upon by the majority of the male populace...

So many males, in order to not be stigmatized by their fellow male bretheren, will never admit to being a virgin...or perhaps even sadder...will lose their virginity with a girl/woman with no aspect of love attached to the act...which is strictly fornication...

In a nutshell.. for some males it is a rite of passage...like getting our license to drive...so you can literally be like "one of the boys"...Sad...but obstensively true, for some males..

[nicenthic]

Here's why a woman would want a man who has had 15+ partners but not the other way around. Men and women are equals. This does not mean that they are equal in every single thing they do. For example, men are, on average, physically stronger than women. It is much easier for a semi attractive (even a 6/10) woman to go out and get laid. The same cannot be said about men. Men have to work at it, have some skill (game) and thereby get a woman to sleep with them. It is a LOT harder for an equally attractive man to get women than it is the other way around. This is one of reasons behind why we, as a society, naturally celebrate men who are successful in bedding multiple women; while at the same time shame women who bed multiple men.

Hope that clears it up.

[pepper01]

yes we are not equal but double standards ARE! anyone can be a slut/bitch/whore and skank. if you sleep around with alor of women you are also a whore. its equal sorry but true. we are just as sexual and if we want to sleep around too than we will as well

[nicenthic]

Maybe in pepper-world, but in the real world, the double standard exists. And there's a good reason for it.

[pepper01]

trust me there are women and men out there who don't give a f*** in the REAL world. only insecure men care and that's the real truth.

[nicenthic]

Insecure people (men and women) have low self esteem and tend not to be very choosy with the people they date since they are afraid they might not ever find someone again. The successful and intelligent man can pick and choose what kind of girl he will let close to his heart. And a slut, it will not be.

[pepper01]

and a male slut will not be close to our hearts either. we will use you, play you, sleep with you and just have fun but we will NEVER commit to a slut. we will settle down with a nice guy. that's why we just have fun and pick douchebags when we are young then we grow up and realize those whores aren't worth it and settle down with nice guys. that's the truth :)

[nicenthic]

I'm sorry girl. Our society just doesn't work that way. Every one of my girlfriends since I was 21 wanted to marry me. They tried every trick in the book to get me to commit to marrying them. Unfortunately, I'm not really into marriage as it has become quite a rotten deal for men. In any case, if you follow women's advice about getting a girl, good luck because that same girl who gives you that advice will end up in the bed of a guy like me. It's happened scores of times already.

[pepper01]

actually society does work that way. girls end up marrying nice guys as we get older. we don't want some nasty douchbag slut. we want a man who is great with kids, nice, intelligent. that's why yes we will f*** you but in the end we won't marry you. 21 is still young. we will still go for douches until we grow up around 30 then we won't mess with you guys anymore lol. I'm being honest and real. you just can't face the facts

[nicenthic]

You're right. Exactly what I was saying. Except you see, guys don't want you once you are over the hill at 30 and your beauty fades. In contrast, the value of men keeps increasing. So you are left with men who can't get any (ie. the nice guys) and are desperate enough to marry your 30 year old saggy ass. The rest of us intelligent and successful men keep upgrading to another younger lass. It's like I always say: "I get older, but the women stay 18!"

[nicenthic]

also, you do realize that a man is not usually the one who's pushing for marriage. Only the most desperate, insecure dude would ever be the one pushing for marriage. In pretty much every relationship, it is the girl pushing him towards it. Why? Because women want marriage a lot more than men want it. There are several reasons for this. Here, check out www.nomarriage.com

[nicenthic]

Virginity in a man is not a desirable state or label when it comes to an attribute that the opposite gender wants. This is because he has obviously not been preselected by other women. However, female virginity is not looked at negatively in the least by men. If she looks decent, no man cares if the girl is a virgin or not. In fact, a female virgin is often wanted more.

Now don't get me wrong, men LOVE sluts. We will never turn down an opportunity to sleep with a good looking slut. Partly because she's good in bed, partly because it's sex. But any decently intelligent, self-respecting man will know that it is a terrible idea to emotionally involve himself (i.e. date) with a slutty girl. That would be a very dumb move. Why would any man want to get emotionally involved with a girl who's had 15+ sexual partners? We would just be setting ourselves up for failure. There are many nice worthy girls out there who don't have daddy issues and haven't slept with an entire fraternity house. But, by all means, fvck the brains out of sluts in the meanwhile.

To put it simply, a lock that can be opened by many keys is a useless lock and of little worth. But a key that can open many locks is a master key and is valuable.

[pepper01]

why would girls want a guy who has had 15+ partners? why would they want to become emotionally involved with a slut? girls are equally as sexual as men. I'm guessing since guys sleep around they have mommy issues since its the equalivent of daddy issues. they need female attention to boost their low ego. maube their mommies didn't give them enough

[nicenthic]

We're not discussing the reasons people do what they do, just the consequences of their actions. And being promiscuous is far more detrimental to the reputation of the woman than it is to the man. In fact, when a man has many women, he is celebrated as a stud. I am trying to explain why this makes sense.

[pepper01]

nobody cares about the sexual past or they shouldnt. only insecure men care. if they do care about her history than his lost not hers. she can move on and find a better guy. no sweat off her back trust me. when a man has many women he is insecure! he needs that ego boost of those women. I don't respect ANY guy who has slept around a lot and he will know I don't repsect him.

[nicenthic]

So what you're saying is that if a man has had many sexual partners, he's insecure. But if a woman has many sexual partners, she's liberated?

[pepper01]

im saying men are equally hoes. those men are clearly insecure and women just like to boost their ego for fun. women are more heartless, sexual and liberated than ever. if you don't like it who cares. you're only one guy lol

[nicenthic]

I agree with you that men, on average are more promiscuous than women. However, what I am trying to explain to you is that it is more socially acceptable for men to be that way than it is for women.

[coolllama]

Well I totally agree with the answers you already have and will shamefully say I've lied about it in the past. It's good to hear think it's okay for once.

[pepper01]

be proud of it :)) that's a great thing. read the girls comments below.. its completely OK to be one

[Quantumus]

Because when guys ask girls whether they'd prefer to be with a man who has experience, they tend to say yes. Most girls want a guy who knows what he's doing in bed, and it is for that reason that some guys with no experience are pretty insecure.

[pepper01]

guys take that as saying she will only be with an experineced guy. majority of the time she doesn't care nor will she turn him down for being a virgin

[Quantumus]

No, it doesn't mean that she'll reject a virgin, but wouldn't you feel a bit insecure or disappointed if you knew that the vast majority of guys preferred something that you don't have?

[pepper01]

some guys prefer virgins and I am not one. do I care what they think? no! because at the end of the day I'm going to live my life. as before most guys THINK those girls like that but they don't care. we find it cute actually. I'm not sure how else I can make you believe that

[Quantumus]

It's great that you don't let it get to you, but not everyone is as skilled at not giving a f*** as you are. Have some sympathy, or just stop bitching whenever someone takes something more harshly than you do.

[pepper01]

all I'm saying is don't worry about it. women don't care. just take it easy and relax :)

[virgininla]

I'm a 33 year old male virgin.

There are a number of reasons, but I will give you one.

Men think it is a bad thing is because women find it repulsive. One of the quickest ways to end up in the friends zone with a women is to tell her your a virgin. Everyone knows that girls go with the guys that have slept with like 100 other girls or make the girl think that. That is why male virgins often lie about it, especially if you really like the girl, why chase her away immediately.

If you are like most girls, you will tell me this is not the case. But look at all the girls you know and all their boyfriends. As girls go on and on about how there are no nice guys, who are they dating? Guys who have slept with tons of other girls. So therefore, it can be deduced that this is what women want. Not every girl is like this but the vast majority are.

[anon4122]

Well while I won't claim this as an objective truth. This has been my experience too. despite what has been said by girls in my life it has always been the guys who have already had girlfriends getting more while those who haven't are stagnant. It's kind of like the rich getting richer while the poor stay poor. I really don't understand it but maybe I haven't met the right girl.

[virgininla]

Anon4122 Please don't wait for the right girl. I made that mistake for years. She doesn't really exist. Even "nice" girls want guys who have slept with tons of girls. I lost my virginity when I began lying to women about my true sexual history. I met girls and when they would start asking about ex-girlfriends, number of past partners, etc. I just lied, lied and lied more.

[6Paul11]

@Update

So what is a "reformed" player supposed to do? What if he has been around, but is over those days and is ready to settle down with the girl of his dreams?

[Deft_maiden]

He will settle down with a reformed whore.. He will never know what hit him :D

[pepper01]

i feel that if a guy or girl is saving themself than they deserve a partner who has saved themself. why should a guy or girl save themself for their husband or wife if the other person isn't doing the same?

[pepper01]

i agree.. if a guy won't take a girl with a high number even if that's his dream girl why should see take a guy with a high number?

[6Paul11]

Here's my point: We have all done things that we aren't proud of. We can't change our pasts, all we can do is move on. Is it really fair to hold stuff like that against a man (or woman)? I take things like this on a case by case basis. If I feel that the woman has truly changed her ways, then I will give her a chance.

[6Paul11]

Here are a few reasons:

1. There is a lot of pressure amongst guys, especially in high school, to lose virginity. If someone doesn't have a story to tell, then you're the odd man out. It feels crummy.

2. In high school, you worry about going to college and being "that guy" that has never had sex.

3. You worry that when you go to college and finally score that girl of your dreams, you won't know what to do. That's why you just want to get it over with and gain experience.

[vptwarrior]

male virgin= doesn't get girls/no experience at sex/more than likely sucks at sex/cum in 3 seconds

yeah its a bad title for guys because we think that girls don't what us for that reason because we are not very experienced in sex.

[PoeticNinja]

It's already expected that a guy who is a virgin or who has less experienced is going to come within' a few seconds to a few minutes. Practice makes perfect. - Girls can be just as patient too. :)

[vptwarrior]

it also kind of feeds our ego's and pride if we can get a lot of girls as that can be pretty hard if you feel you are not all that attractive.

[womensuck]

I don't think it's bad, as long as he's saving it for a girl who is not a tramp or will think she's the best thing that ever happen to him. After all girls are not above guys

[pepper01]

i agree that if a guy is saving himself for a girl she should do the same but the same goes for girls. if they save themselves than they shouldn't go for some whore/tramp guy. they should go for a guy who is respectable. after all everyone is equal. there is no aboveness

[jointhepatriarchy]

I am a 26 year old virgin and proud. There is nothing wrong with me. There is something wrong with the people who are in a hurry to lose it soon as they turn 18 or even sooner though.

[7gnat]

wow

[Hades]

Because the vast majority of girls want guys that other girls want. Supply and demand.

[Quantumus]

Valid.

[ihatetakingcharge]

because many girls find virgin guys a turn off, eventhough many girls say they find them attractive, cute, hot, but what girls say they like, what they find attractive, what they want, and what they actually respond to are 2 different things

[cyrus7]

Its not attractive, we're stereotyped as not knowing how to do anything

[pepper01]

other guys stereotype you but girls don't mind. we really dont. read the comments below

[cyrus7]

yeah but in reality that's not how it works, guys who are not virgins are usually more confident in their sexuality and girls like that and go for them

[pepper01]

so you are saying that virgins can't be confident? when I was a virgin I was extremely confident and I had friends who slept with 12 guys who were insecure. its all about your personality! you can be confident and be a virgin. most of those guys who are whores are the ones needed female attention to up their ego. they are the insecure ones

[cyrus7]

I said for guys, virginity for guys is different than it is for girls

[pepper01]

im talking about guys! you can be a confident virgin as well. its all about your personality. some guys have it some guys don't just like some girls have it and some girls dont

[cyrus7]

oh well I guess those are guys that get female attention, if you're a virgin guy and you have girls all over you ofcourse you'll be confident

[kaity-babee]

I would prefer a virgin ! being a virgin myself I would think it's good if we both be each others firsts ! but I'm proud of it (: