I'm a virgin and stuck between a rock and a hard place.

[Anonymous]

I met this guy on a sugar daddy dating site. I made a profile for the hell of it. I wasn't expecting much. But I found him and we've been talking and I really like him a lot and he likes me. Well I think I might be meeting him soon, and I know if he's gonna pay my plane ticket and all that, he is GOING to expect me to have sex with him. Problem is, I'm a total virgin. I haven't even given a hand job to any guy. Reality is now crashing down on me. What in the world did I get myself into? There aren't any guys around here that I would be willing to give my virginity to or practice on. Unless I have feelings for a guy, I just can't do this type of thing. I'm honestly really scared and a nervous wreck about this. I'd be nervous even if I weren't a virgin just because this guy is not only good looking, but he's so much older than me and he's loaded. I'm kind of freaking out at this point. What should I do?

[MrOracle]

You've replied to several people that "you have no idea what's going to happen." And you're right. The problem is that YOU have no idea what's going to happen either.

But let's assume the best: he's really a decent guy who wants a girlfriend. So, what? You're going to meet him, have sex with him in Vegas, have a wild time, and then what? Go back home and continue to talk to him on the phone? Meet him in Vegas every couple of months for sex? Move to his city and move in with him?

This guy is on a Sugar Daddy website. Do you understand what that is? It's guys who are basically willing to spend some money on a young girl in trade for sex and companionship AT HIS CONVENIENCE. If he has a bunch of money, he's also got a lot of obligations and priorities, and you'll spend a lot of time alone, with nothing to do, while he deals with them. Spending money gets old quick when you're bored and alone. But while they generally buy you stuff, they don't just give you cash, so you aren't going to spend a year with him and leave with $100,000 in a bank account or anything. You'll leave with a bunch of clothes and shoes and some toys and trinkets, but you'll be back at Square 1. Except you'll be used to an extravegant lifestyle that you won't be able to have anymore unless you find another Sugar Daddy. But maybe that one won't be as nice as this one...

And that's the BEST-case scenario. The worst-case scenario is worse than I even want to contemplate. Many young, naive girls go to Vegas and similar places under these circumstances, with little to no resources of their own, and end up getting beaten up, pimped out, hooked on drugs, or killed; in some cases all of the above. And it isn't even hard to do that kind of thing there.

The reason everyone is freaking out is because we understand what CAN happen, and we don't have stars in our eyes blinding us like you do right now. We don't want to see you get hurt, or worse.

[Asker]

I understand. Thanks for your answer

[Asker]

Idk what I'm gonna do about the virginity thing. You mention " Go back home and continue to talk to him on the phone? Meet him in Vegas every couple of months for sex? Move to his city and move in with him?" and "trade for sex and companionship AT HIS CONVENIENCE." Yeah I have actually contemplated these things believe it or not. I'm not stupid. I know how much power he would have over me. But the reason I was OK was going through with this is because for as long as I've talked with him, he has

[Asker]

never once said anything to me that has made me feel the least bit sketchy or nervous about this situation. Because believe me, if he ever once made me feel uncomfortable, I'd stop talking to him. Sometimes you get that little nagging feeling about something but you push it to the side and ignore it. I haven't gotten that feeling yet about anything with him. But yeah, I know that everything's gonna be on his terms and he's gonna have 100% power over me. I've thought about this. And I also know

[Asker]

that you don't really know someone unless you have really spent time with them. I had a long talk last night with my good friend about it. She told me to have him come here so I'm on my own turf. I'm still thinking about this. So we'll see.

[Asker]

But I realize I've kinda gotten in over my head and now in hindsight, I was stupid for going on that site being as inexperienced as I am

[MrOracle]

Again, we just don't want anything bad to happen to you. Even though we don't know you and have never met you, we are concerned for your safety and happiness. It would be a MUCH better idea for him to come to you at least the first time. He may indeed be a great guy, but just by starting on that site, you've started off on a very unbalanced dynamic, so please, be careful, OK?

[Asker]

Oh I will. If this does end up going down, I'll be careful...you don't have to worry about that.

[DeepBlue]

You are going to fly on a plane to a strange place to have sex with someone you have never met in person? Virgin or not, this seems like a total lapse in judgment. These sugar daddy sites are one step removed from prostitution IMO.

[Asker]

Yeah so? It sucks to be poor and you don't even know what he's like

[DeepBlue]

Neither do you, that's my point. It's very easy to represent yourself to someone over the internet any way you choose. And yes, poverty sucks. Losing your virginity to a stranger twice your age sucks more.

[Asker]

Yeah I know.

[Asker]

Being a virgin sucks. Cause if I told him then I doubt he'd want to take it. He'd feel guilty knowing him.

[xxluvcrumbs]

Now doesn't this situation sound a little off.

1) If he's good looking, then why is he on some kind of website and paying someone like you to have sex with him?

2) You're not ready to have sex, you're probably only doing it cause you think this is going to lead into something more like a relationship or something serious.

3) If he was really that loaded, why can't he come to you and stay at some luxurious hotel?

Just seems strange to me and you're going to end up getting hurt, but that's my personal opinion.

[Asker]

U have no idea what's going to happen. And yes I AM ready for sex

[xxluvcrumbs]

Okay then go for it instead of asking us what you should do since you know you're ready for sex.

[Asker]

And I don't ACTUALLY think it's going to lead to something serious. I still talk to guys around here. To be honest, I see this as more of an adventure than anything else. I know about guys. I know what they want from girls. Plus, once you meet someone in person, they can be different than you expected.

[Chantie2812]

I suggest you not do it. It obvious that you don't want to. Why put your self in such a stressful situation? I say get out of it while you can because your just digging yourself deeper as you continue to talk to him. There will be plenty of guys to come around. Give your virginity away to someone special because you deserve that. It seems as though you want it to be with someone special, so I suggest you just wait then.

[babiichayne]

This may be different to the other answers, but your question reminded me of a blog I stumbled across. It's written by an experienced sugarbaby. Although it seems to be a personal account of her experiences with men, she does lay some good advice for women looking to go into it. I can't help you with this situation, but I thought it might interest you to take a look at it.

link

[Asker]

thanks

[carinabina820]

WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU ARE BASICALLY SELLING YOUR VIRGINITY WHORE! Save it for someone goddamn special! People like you make me so angry. I was raped & my virginity was STOLEN from me and you have it to give to anyone--someone who really loves you--and you SELL it!?!?

[CatholicVirginia]

Sweetie, calm down. Name calling solves nothing. She doesn't WANT to sell her virginity. She genuinely likes this guy, but she's upset because she agrees with YOU.

[Asker]

How dare you call me a whore. I actually like this guy and he llikes me. He actually wants a girlfriend. I'm the farthest thing from a whore. Wow

[carinabina820]

So then be his girlfriend and wait until he says he loves you!

[martyfellow]

Just don't go! You don't have any obligation to this guy just because he has money. If he were an OK guy he wouldn't be buying girls this way!

[sixstring]

Oh please. Don't act all high and mighty by pretending you wouldn't use your money to score girls if you had loads of cash.

[Asker]

Any guy would

[martyfellow]

Well, any guy with a cartoon avatar would, sure. But there are a lot of us who would NEVER do this kind of thing. EVen in the current US most of us wouldn't, let me tell you. I have enough cash to score girls if I were into that sort of thing. In the meantime, stop grovelling to this guy just because he's loaded! What kind of an example is that: May as well get yourself a cartoon avatar.

[Asker]

wtf does a cartoon avatar have anything to do with anything? lol. How about that kitten avatar?

[martyfellow]

A cartoon avatar? Help me!

[helpha]

Dont go have sex with a random creeper stranger.

Enough said.

[katiesmuff]

Very easy, dump the site and discontinue any further conversation with this guy and chalk this up as a very good lesson then move on.

[sixstring]

If you feel like going through with it, tell him you're a virgin.

[Asker]

I can't!

[sixstring]

Why not?

[Asker]

Because I'm afraid he won't want me after that. He'll think of me as a "stage 5 clinger"

[Ingrid422]

"Because I'm afraid he won't want me after that. " No he won't, of course. Are you really that naive that you think he actually wants you for who you are inside out? He's a sugar daddy. All he wants is sex. You seem to flatter yourself too much over how much he actually likes you as a person. It affects your judgment poorly. I think you need a reality check.

[BillyTheMountain]

How do you know he isn't really an Ax Murderer?

[Asker]

I don't have that feeling about him. We've been talking on the phone for over two months now. I was the one who was chiding him about us meeting. He was in no hurry to meet me

[LexiNinja]

Hmm..are you stupid?

[cleako]

Finding a sugar daddy online, fine.

Finding a sugar daddy that requires you to fly somewhere to meet him, are you really that stupid?

[Asker]

Well he did mention coming here but we both decided that there'd be much to do in Vegas

[computertech23]

Do what you think is right. In this situation it makes it seem as though you are cherishing your virginity as you should. Don't do it just because you met the guy on the internet that could be any body playing that personality!

[cyrus7]

if you're actually considering doing it then go for it

[Asker]

Well see, if he finds out I'm a virgin, he's gonna be like WTF!

[cyrus7]

I personally don't even see how you could consider this, but if you're OK with it I'm sure he will be too

[Asker]

consider what?

[Asker]

I know what I'm doing isn't exactly moral. But I've been talking to him for a long time, and I actually really like him. So I have actually developed feelings

[cyrus7]

ok

[Anonymous]

Well I suggest you don't go but if you do wind up going get a friend to go with you just don't let the guy know your taking a friend.if he's really loaded then he will probly buy you a first class ticket if he does either get a cash refund or get two coach tickets.lol thatll teach him

[Anonymous]

Hopefully you are able to make it back and don't become his prisoner. good luck ;)

[Asker]

Wtf a**hole.

[Anonymous]

He's not going to believe it at first and when he does, he'll probably like it.

If he wanted experience he'd be Dating women his age.

[Asker]

Why would he like it? Don't most men like that want a girl who's good in bed? I won't be at first... :/

[Anonymous]

Don't do it. Your conscience seems to be bugging you, better listen to it.

In any case, you don't know the person. You can't trust him and what if something wrong happens. I'm sure it's something you wouldn't get involved in.