We have been together for 3 years and have been sexually active for about 5 months. I know she's always been very very scared of being pregnant and always took the utmost precaution. As far as our sex goes, I have still yet to make her climax which is personally bothering the heck out of me! We have a great communication so it works out, I felt like we were getting close, we bought a vibrator for her clit and stuff like that. BUT ANYWAY we were out with a bunch of people at dinner the other night and a friend of her was talking about how having a kid "just happens" and it was an accident.
The next day she tells me that she is seriously thinking of getting off of birth control and wants to stop having sex. I said its up to her and was real good about it, but inside I feel like shit lol.
I guess being with her as long as we have and being the sexual person I am (SHE IS TOO) I didn't expect this. I figure its one of two scenarios.
1) She is really freaked out and doesn't wanna get pregnant. I've tried to explain to her that birth control and condom use together makes it nearly impossible (Perhaps I'm wrong). I just don't see where the risk is. If this is the reason and I am right about the odds, I don't see why we still can't be doing it.
2) Maybe our sex life is awful, and she's not missing anything if she does quit.
I feel awful. I don't know if I can just stop having sex, although people do wait til marriage but still I don't know!
Any imput is welcome = )
Most Helpful Guy
My girlfriend is the same way, though not such a degree. She is definitely just freaking out about being pregnant. Even if she can't reach climax, sex is still enjoyable. It will hopefully happen, though - for my girlfriend, after about four months of constant sex, she finally managed to climax (twice!), and ever since then she climaxes every time. Like, it was literally an instant change. So, don't worry about it too much!
But anyways, it's torture - I know this from experience - to be having regular sex then have it taken away for no good reason. If it is important to you, you have to lay your thoughts down here. If she still says no, demand an explanation. If it's irrational (such as pregnancy from using both a condom and the pill), explain to her why it's important to you and how unfair it would be to stop. If this fails, it's time to take a hard look at your relationship. Decide if it's worth the frustration.
This may sound shallow, but sex is one of the most important things in a relationship. It builds a bond stronger than any other. If she's not willing to continue, perhaps she's not willing to do a lot of other things, as well.0