Guys- how do you deal with women being more emotional or sensitive then you?

[Anonymous]

Or there need to "talk", or how sometimes you have to read between the lines for example, she says "Sure, whatever." when really that means, "do that and I will hurt you." lol... Or periods. Women are in general much more emotional then men. I think I'm sensitive by personality, and I'm not saying all women are like this, but I'm one of them. When me and my husband fight, I cry. I cry quite often and probably more then most people. I also notice I talk a lot more then my husband. I was just thinking, if I was much less emotional then I am, and I had to deal with the opposite gender being like that, I would be ANNOYED. Doesn't it get annoying for you? Take into consideration this- last night, me and my husband hadn't had sex for a few days. Reason being, he was watching p*rn one night and then lied about it, several times. It turned into an argument. Then we were finally going to have sex, and I got sick just as we were starting- it was very sudden but there was nothing I could do. I felt awful, so I told him, he could watch p*rn instead I wouldn't mind. He said no, he didn't want it. Next day, I was so hot, because it had been 5 days. I was gonna watch p*rn and masturbate, but I didn't because I wanted to wait for my husband to come back- and normally he ALWAYS wants it, so he told me never to masturbate so that I'll want it more often. So I waited- very difficult. When he came home, I think for the first time ever, he didn't want sex. He wanted to sleep. I was so surprised because I thought by now he would be going even more crazy then me, turns out, he got up earlier in the morning to watch p*rn and masturbate while I was sleeping. When I said he could watch p*rn, I didn't mean in replacement to me, and I KNOW that since we've introduced p*rn into our sex-life, it's having a bad effect on both of us. And if he tells me not to masturbate during the day, he should do it with me at night. I have needs too! Anyway, I tried to talk to him about it and he said "baby, just let me sleep.". And he was falling asleep. I was so frustrated and I started crying. I felt pretty pathetic but I was just upset. I hate the idea that he doesn't need me anymore because he's watching p*rn and I only came to accept it recently. He didn't react, he just lay there.That made me cry more, and eventually he got up and hugged me. He needed to sleep, but me, being the emotional woman, needed to talk, and if not, I would cry. Annoying right? And another thing, my husband told me I look "amazingly sexy" from behind (my shape, my ass and ****), it wasn't good enough for me. I had to add, "... but what about my front?". Or I ask him like once a week if I got fatter. When I go over everything, I feel like I must be so annoying and I don't know how my husband deals with it. But he told me this morning that he was so crazy about me, and that his love for me is growing stronger and stronger everyday. Tbh, I don't get why...

[danielm2009uk]

I'm still struggling with this particularly topic. I would really like to know so that I could understand the person I am with better. Trouble is, it feels very personal and I take it quite personal if a girl is upset or angry and doesn't tell me. I try to read between the lines, but it isn't easy. I know something is wrong, but I am no mind reader and would be happy to discuss it without blame or feelings of guilt. Not saying I am perfect, guys can be just as complicated as girls,but in these scenarios, we all need to stop trying to see things and listen to the person who is upset, find out what they need and support them.

[Asker]

if only all guys felt the same way! but I don't know, I can see my husband maybe feeling similar to you, and it's good for me to hear stuff like that. I mean if he felt like that then I should just be completely straight with him, which isn't always easy. but if I knew his intention was just to listen to me, find out what's wrong and do something about it, communication would be so much easier between us. thing is, I'm not sure he's that mature.

[danielm2009uk]

I would like to think he would be mature. I would tell him and ask him to explain how he feels and vice versa, but ask him to try and see it from your point of view, and do the same for him. This is the difficult bit because communication is difficult as men and women think differently. Best advice, both take everything said with a pinch of salt and not literal - it is hard, but can be done if you're both willing to try.

[Asker]

yeah I actually spoke to him about it last night, and I said how he used to be much more sympathetic, and he told me I was crying too much over stupid things, and it did just get annoying. but then we found out the reason why I keep crying- when we fight, I try to talk to him, but he doesn't want to talk. he just wants to go to bed or he'll give me the silent treatment. it's incerdibly frustrating, and the emotion builds up I guess cos I can't let it out. that's when I start getting too upset

[Asker]

so we talked it over, and he said he was sorry for neglecting me when we are having an argument and not trying to solve it, and he's gonna start talking to me more

[danielm2009uk]

Sounds like some good progress was made there. It will take some time for him to express and to listen so you may have to be really patient. Ask him to listen and not judge or take it personally when you express yourself about how you are feeling about things. It may take a few goes, but practice makes perfect. If he struggles, give it time and it will eventually click.

[Asker]

yeah your right, I figured it would take some time, and some getting used to on his part. thx for advice!

[NerdInDenial]

A man's hands can only do so much; it's not the same as the warm feeling of a vagina. You two have to work on communicating better or clearer. Don't assume guys will read the lines. It's your fault if you don't speak up. If you're going to let your emotions out, let it out. Some guys will ignore a girl who cries because they don't know what to do.

[Asker]

you are probably right about our problem with communication. but it's just, when we first got together, the first couple of times I started crying, he was there, hugging me and saying "please don't cry". now, it's like he's just thinking "ugh, women" and it's just gotten annoying for him. I don't cry ALL the time you know? but if we have an argument which is bad enough then I do. but I don't know, as a guy, can you imagine what it must be like for him? I mean is it that annoying?

[NerdInDenial]

It's annoying in a sense that we don't think that we have done anything that renders crying. It's hard for some guys to sympathize with you because they cry for different reasons or for more extreme reasons.

[Asker]

yeah I actually spoke to him about it last night, and I said how he used to be much more sympathetic, and he told me I was crying too much over stupid things, and it did just get annoying. but then we found out the reason why I keep crying- when we fight, I try to talk to him, but he doesn't want to talk. he just wants to go to bed or he'll give me the silent treatment. it's incerdibly frustrating, and the emotion builds up I guess cos I can't let it out. that's when I start getting too upset

[Asker]

so we talked it over, and he said he was sorry for neglecting me when we are having an argument and not trying to solve it, and he's gonna start talking to me more.

[NerdInDenial]

The silent treatment is the worst thing a man can do to a girl because he doesn't acknowledge her. Most fights can allayed or ended if both parties just listened to each other without blaming each other.

[madiocre]

Yeah I know how you feel. You hear girls throw up their arms and say "Ahhh Men." but seriously I would hate to have to date a girl...

I always feel so guilty about it all and I have no idea how to control it...

like WTF!

I remember a time when I felt like I had so much control over my thinking and feelings... then I began dating and it all went pear shaped...

[Asker]

yeah as soon as you start dating it's like you notice how much of a GIRL you are! hahahaa exactly the same thing with me- it must get on their nerves :/

[madiocre]

lol I used to always take guys side because I was like I don't get why they are being so irrational... and now I'm exactly like that and after years of it I still haven't got used to it. I do feel sorry for guys .. at times..

[katiesmuff]

In one ear and out the other!

[Anonymous]

I just zone out and pretend to listen, like I did halfway through your post.

[Asker]

u made me cry.

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry I meant that to be humorous.

[Asker]

it was. and so was what I said .p