What does it mean to be submissive or dominant in bed?

Is being submissive when the guy does everything? Is being dominant when the girl is on top?

Where do you fall in all this - submissive or dominant?

Btw so not talking about that bdsm stuff lol


Most Helpful Guy

  • Being dominant means taking charge; being in a leadership position. It means you direct, and take responsibility for what happens, when, where, how, and for how long, etc.

    Being submissive means you surrender the decision-making to the dominant one, trusting them to understand your needs and know what to do, but also freeing you from having to constantly make decisions.

    You can be submissive on top and dominant on the bottom; it's about attitude more than position.


What Guys Said 7

  • Its a little more than that when referring to BDSM.

    Being dominant or submissive is usually a term used with BDSM or S & M.

    "Regular sex" (I use quotations because I'm not sure what regular sex is?) May usually consist of back and forth positions where the male and female would both be in the dominant or humping role.

    Im dominant I like being in control and taking control. Also women can't give it as hard so I prefer doing the work.

  • dominant to me means taking the assertive role in getting what you want. I like to play both sides. But so f***ing hot when she gets on top and rides me like a cowgirl. grabs my ass and grinds herself off. that is dominant for a girl but no S&M stuff. I do not like being dominant unless she wants it that way in some role play. then I can be such a bad boy. that help?

  • If only the internet had a place to look things like that up...


  • dominant- meaning person that does most of everything in bed, submissive means well just lies there and takes it lol sex can get pretty dull if one person does everything though, mainly for the person that's doing everything

  • its just like dancing,... the dominant one is the one who takes the lead, and the submissive it the one who follows the lead...

  • what the girl said basically. I like a sub girl in bed who lets me pick her up and bend her around like my little f***doll in bed. I wouldn't hurt her of course but I like to have my way with her lol


What Girls Said 3

  • The partner who is dictating what happens is the dominant one and the other is the submissive. Either could be the guy or girl

  • Yeah I guess if dominant means not being the passive one, then I'm dominant in bed. I'm really active in bed, definitely not just going to sit there and do nothing. I like to help him get me there but I'm also a pleaser, which is why I usually feel submissive even when I'm on top.

    I'm probably somewhere in between, but maybe leaning toward dominant even if I don't think of myself that way. If I want a different position or something, its not going to be all up to the guy. I'll definitely listen to him and do what he says but I'm going to do what I want as well.

    I think it's about attitude as well. Maybe my attitude, the way I want him to speak to me, facial expression, body language, etc is all submissive but some positions I like to be in, some of the control I like to have, is dominant?

  • dominant one takes more control

    submissive one is the more passive one

    • Submissive and passive is not the same. People generally make that mistake. Submissive means actively surrendering and letting the other take charge. But it is not passive.