20 year old virgin.

I am a 20 year old male college student and I am a virgin. I was planning on waiting till marriage but my last girlfriend dumped me because of it and I am wondering if I am ever going to find a girl who respects my decision. I have been really upset about it an almost want to give up on my plan and just lose it but I don't know how to go about finding someone for that. If you ask for my aim sn ill give it to you.

Its not that I want to give up on waiting its like now I want to have sex but I also don't want to regret giving it up.
I just don't know what to do I feel so much pressure and I want it to stop.
I am not a virgin due to religion I am just one because I have never had the type of relationship with a girl where I have felt ready.
still a virgin...


Most Helpful Girl

  • i respect it. there are plenty of girls who are like you, like i. unfortunately I'm dating lol. I'm not virgin, but I've only been with one guy so, this is my second serious relationship. you shouldn't be upset, she sounds very immature. it may have been an excuse for some other issue or she just isn't very appreciative of who you are as a person. find someone else more compatible.take care.

    • You can't just dump a guy jus tbecase he happens to be virgin. so any ways, I also come from a conservative upbringing, I was planning to wait. I regret my first. I really regret it. He just wasn't there for me and he treated me like trash, like it didn't mean anything to him. So you should definitely find the right girl and not regret. That's the more logical and rational thing to do. I really want to be with someone who is virgin,but it's complicated I guess. Thanks.

What Girls Said 9

  • I am a virgin waiting till marriage, and let me tell you, guys like you are VERY rare. When you find the right girl, she's not gonna want to give you up!

    I have a very high respect for guys like you :)

  • Lmao, I like the update... I wouldn't give up on it just because that one girl you dated didn't like it... There are so many girls out there who would think that was really sweet.

  • hi!

    i'm 18 and I'm waiting for marriage, too. my boyfriend is 19 and he is also waiting. honestly, I respect you SO much for sticking to your decision and just holding strong. there are so few people out there right now who choose to wait. I know for myself, because I'm waiting, its actually a big turnoff for me to know that a guy has had sex. I like the idea if I expect him to wait for me, then I should do the same. and vice versa. please don't throw away your first time and everything you believe in just because some girls dump you because you won't have sex them. I mean, think about that. how much do you really mean to them if they're dumping you for a reason like that? and what does that say about them? you should find someone who loves you for you. who loves you enough to wait and who can respect and support your decision. its obviously important to you so why would you want to be with someone who would want you to compromise your morals?

    please, please keep waiting. you will find that right girl : )

  • unfortunately, there are very few people out there who wants to wait. I know I'm one. I get all sorts of pressure from boys at my school but I hold strong. all you have to do is hold strong and wait for that one girl, cause she is out there. everyone has someone to be with. you will find her and she will respect your ways as you should respect hers. just wait and hold strong. don't let anyone tell you what to do or anything.

  • Don't give it up. That's so fantastic you've been through 20 years of your life abstaining... I'm a virgin too, until marriage. I had a relationship like that, where the guy dumped me purely because I wouldn't have sex with him. How trashy and pathetic! That's what relationships have come down to these days.

    Respect your virginity...you can only ever give it to one person...and then it's gone :) I would hate for you to regret your decision.

  • Do not give it up. The girl that will wait is the one that actually loves you!

  • For reals, I think it's kinda hot if a guy is a virgin and respects himself enough to make that decision. I would totally date a guy as long as he was nice and cute even if he was a virgin and I had to marry him to get in his pants lol. (I would never marry a guy to have sex with him though) ;)

  • PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. do not give up. I JUST posted a question asking if there are any guys who are waiting till marriage cause I totally am and I've been told that no guy is a virgin, no guy will respect my decision to wait, so I shouldn't. PLEASE, for all of us girls who want to wait ,be that good guy who says "i want to wait too".

    any girl who doesn't respect that, doesn't deserve you. just don't be impatient, you'll meet that girl who respects it and/or wants to wait too. patience young grass hopper =]


What Guys Said 8

  • okay I've said this before and always get criticized, so, I'm ready and waiting for the American christian right to press that little red arrow and say my comment is bad advice but...

    America has the highest divorce rate in the western world and its because of people like you. Allow me to explain. If you're not going to have sex til you get married, that pushes you into a situation where you're in a rush to get married. every girl you find you assess her and scrutinies her as being The One, or as your virgin popping wife. Then when you think youve found her, you race into a married in your early twenties, loss your virginity, live together for 2 years find out you have nothing in common and get divorced. In America the younger the age of the married couple the higher the divorce rate. Just to put this in to perspective, If a couple marry at the age of 24 there is only a 20% that marriage will last 2 years. And I've said this before on this web page and had people comment, that just because it happens to other people doesn't mean it will happen to you. The arrogance of that argument is amazing, ignoring a massive divorce rate simply because you feel you're different to the rest of the American population.

    So, your philosophy "to find the one special girl, married and live happily ever after" has some pretty massive flaws. I think a more responsible, logical attitude is to stop assessing girl friends as potential wife or "as The One" ; and instead have sex with who you want to, live together and get married at an older age, when your more mature, and able to choose your life partner better, and when the statistical chances of it lasting are much better.

    But to answer your question. I don't think you will regret having sex out of marriage, but just having sex because

    • If you're not a virgin due to any moral, religious of ethical reason, but because you haven't felt ready, then you have to look inside you're self. Are you nervous, or not ready, are you suffering performance anxiety? My final word, is your making a real big deal out of something that's not that big a deal. Find some one you like and have some sexy fun.

  • Forget the haters, you're living your life according to what you think is right. You'll know when's the right time for it to happen, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. I was in your spot until I was 22, and lost it to a girl who later proved to not be the right one for me. So stick to your guns man, do what's best for YOU.

  • Wow dude I respect your strength because I know how hard it can be but don't give up because believe it or not there are people out there like you, heck one answered your question not too long ago. I think that you need to go on the net and look for events and stuff around your area or at your school that helps out people our age that actually want to be abstinent

  • a guy waiting till marriage?

    WHAT?!... its like... I've never

    seen those words in a sentence

    dont sweat it, that girl was probably

    a whore(or not?)

    just be patient my young grasshopper.

  • Although I couldn`t stand not having sex, I can understand your reasons for doing so. But as far as I know there are a lot of girls in the states that think about the matter just the way you do. And they are probably the better choice for a wife anyway! So my advise for you is sticking to ├Żour program. There are good reasons for both ways, but you should stick to the decisions you make for yourself and not change them for what s.o. ese thinks!

  • Hire someone then. :p

  • Just have fun

  • ok, here is where everyone says, "Wow, you are so great and awesome and I respect your decision!"

    Well, don't expect it from me. Sorry.

    I think you are foolishly denying yourself a basic human need. And for nothing, really.

    • There is no prize at the end of life (or at any other time in life) for denying yourself sex for a long time.

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    • I actually understand where you're coming from and kind of aggree with you but at the same time we can't blame somebody for chosing this becuz of religion. Now anything other than that is down right torcher

    • Yeah, I guess if they are doing because of religion, it is different.