I can't tell my boyfriend about faking it because he'll be crushed?

[Anonymous]

ive been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and is the first guy I've ever had sex with. I'm head over heals in love with him and I know that he's my soul mate and that he's the one for me. when he and I started having sex, I started faking orgasms because I've never orgasmed and didn't want to be embarrassed. I've had to keep faking them because it would be obvious if I just stopped. I can't tell him that I've never orgasmed because I know for a fact that, it would crush him and make him very upset. I also know that its rare to orgasm from penetration. so I can't just hope that I really get there. should I just 'fake it' less and less and just don't pretend anymore? what should I do? I don't want to hurt him.

[ilovelegs]

If I were you, I'd tell him that you've not been getting a complete orgasm, and I would do it the first chance you and him are real lovey together but not in the bed ready to have sex again. It also should be a time you're talking about sexual things and about pleasing each other. Then I'd tell him like this. "I enjoy so much whenever we have sex because you make me feel so sweet and complete, and nothing feels missing, yet I don't feel like I have a real orgasm and I've been wanting you to know. I've been embarrassed to tell you that I've been kinda faking it because I love you so much and I didn't want you to think it was your fault. You were the first I ever slept with and I didn't know how that was suppose to really feel. Even if I never orgasm completely from having sex it'll still feel just great, but I want you to help me have the real thing and I want you to understand." If you tell him something like that, if he really loves you he should understand and not feel inadequate and be willing to help you or at least give him a better understanding how hard it is for girls to orgasm just from penetration. My guess it that he'll understand and not be mad at you or hurt. Why would he be anyway? You're being honest and honesty is always the best route to take. Hopefully, this should bring you two even closer together because now he'll be more concerned about your feelings. .

[crazywafflefun]

Crap! you can only agree once...

[Asker]

I was considering taking your advice. but he asked before I could.

[ilovelegs]

Aww good news to hear. There's no reason he should be upset. You can still say some ot the things I mentioned so he forgets the faking word and replaces it with not a complete orgasm but it always feels great because you're so good. Tell him you would not get upset with him if some little thing like that had been bothering him. Remind him that you're for real and not like some girl in a movie where everything always works perfectly. By the way, most girls have some issue when it comes to sex

[Asker]

Thanks, ill be sure to tell him that. I reassured him that its always pleasurable for me and that I'm a girl which means it takes work and stuff. he's still upset about it. I'm just relieved that I told him because it really bothered me not telling him. I guess he'll get over it eventually. nothing really I can do about it now.

[BandN]

If you tell the truth everything will be OK. you must have that kind of relationship with someone your having sex with, if you can't open up like telling the truth then you have bigger problems. You need to talk with him when your not in the moment and talk about what feels good for you, I bet 100 bucks he's do whatever you ask him to do to help you get off. It's a goal for the guys but we need to know what works for you and you have to communicate with this guy or any. good luck.

[MissLynn20011]

You know I have been in that same exact situation. I faked it when

me and my boyfriend first starting having sex. I just never really got to

an orgasm. I just stopped doing it cos I wanted to enjoy the sex because I

still liked it, just no orgasms. So after a while all he thought was I was quiet

in bed... So I just went with that. No that we have been having sex a while, he

actually gives me orgasms now, so now I don't have to fake it.

[Asker]

Really? that acutally makes me feel a lot better. its annoying because every time we have sex, he asks me if I orgasmed. hopefully if I stop faking it then he'll stop asking that too lol

[MissLynn20011]

Lol I'm glad I helped. Yeah he probably will.. and then he'll learn more things to give you a real one! (:

[Asker]

Thanks :] I hope so

[MissLynn20011]

Good luck and be sure to send me a message of how it went(:

[mml99]

I have to type this:

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

if you cannot be honest about something so intimate then maybe you need to rethink the whole "i'm head over heals in love with him and I know that he's my soulmate and that he's the one for me."

[Asker]

Its not as easy to tell him as you think. when he's always making a big deal out of 'getting me there', it makes it a million times harder to tell him. it would crush him

[thelittlethings]

Don't listen to her. That was really rude of her. You being head over heels in love with him just makes it harder to hurt him. You don't need to rethink the whole head over heels thing.

[Asker]

Thanks, your a lot nicer than she is lol

[l-hedoniste]

She could have CHOSEN HER WORDS MORE CAREFULLY, but she does have a point; honesty is a critical part of intimacy.

[Asker]

She doesn't realize that caring for someone makes it hard to tell them something like that because you care so much and don't want to hurt them.

[l-hedoniste]

Come clean. Since he's in it for the long haul, he'll likely forgive. Make sure you tell him what a wonderful lover you think he is.

Then go work on that orgasm.

[TedEBear]

If you don't fake... You don't need to tell him. Instead tell him what you like while being "Romantic"