My guy doesn't get in fights anymore. He's almost 32 and has outgrown that kind of s.hit after having a kid, though many of his buddies only a couple years younger haven't. But he still has a reputation for being a formidable opponent in a fight. Sometimes he'd lose, a lot of times he'd win, and other times it would be very close and both with significant injuries. I haven't known him as long as a lot of my friends have, and have never personally seen him fight because he doesn't really do that anymore. The only reasons he'd get in a fight would be if someone were fighting unfairly with a friend and they needed help, if my physical safety were being threatened, or someone blindsided him trying to start something. I think those reasons are fair, because he stays out of the conflict otherwise, and I would fight back in the same situations.
I'm not into the fighting thing, I'm very passive, so it's not a turn on. I'd rather avoid confrontations and stupid d***-waving masculinity contests. I settle things with words and intellect, and prefer people I spend a lot of time with to do the same. If a fight broke out, I'd try to get him to back away from it and stay out of it. In most situations, he'd listen. In others, I'd be better off staying out of the way because while HE would never hurt me, I'd probably end up hurt in the scuffle, especially if I tried to get in the middle of it. How would I feel if a guy beat up my boyfriend? I'd just want to get him home and help patch up the aftermath. Everyone loses sometimes, I would have preferred he not fight at all. But if he does, there's a chance he could lose. Because of his reputation, and sheer size and strength, it's not uncommon for someone looking for a fight to wait until he's way too drunk, and they're relatively sober by comparison, to try to start something with him. Because I'm around, he doesn't bite, but he has in the past and those are times he's most likely to get bloodied worse. It happens. I care about his safety, not who wins or loses. I'd rather avoid those situations altogether. The only thing I'd feel about the 'winner' if he lost is that they're a piece of s.hit for not fighting fair, and be pissed that they hurt him. All in all, he's a big boy and can take care of himself.0 0 0 0Despite being younger, I have almost the exact same outlook.
=] I also think I should mention that I would probably refrain from interfering because one, while he might be glad he has a girl who could fight, I don't want to 'emasculate' him by trying to 'fight his battles', and I think that's how he'd feel about it. Two, I don't want to chance my involvement accidentally enabling the other dude to do more damage, because I have less fighting experience and may not realize. I'd only jump in if the situation was really f.ucked up and I knew I could help.
what if somebody jumped him?
Why would we find it attractive for anyone to act like that off of anger? If a guy hit another guy because he was jealous instead of handling it maturely then how would I know he wouldn't react like that if I upset him somehow? I man shouldn't be defined by his ability to hurt someone.
And I don't get why you keep saying if a girls successful with guys she's successful. If a girl always approaches guys she's a slut. If she doesn't she isn't confident enough. If a girl gets jealous she's too obsessive and needy if she doesn't then she doesn't care.
I understand that there's always been pressure on guys to "be a man" but you apparently haven't heard the term "act like a lady." I would rather people have high expectations of me than to be dumbed down by society the way that women are. For you to say that women are successful if they have a man is sexist. You're pretty much labeling us as sexual objects. Why do men like ditsy party girls more than the one's that are spending their weekends in the library studying trying to make something of themselves?
But those standards; go after what you want, take charge, etc, apply to EVERYONE. Those are the things that make a person a person. If he doesn't have passions and goals what does he or anyone have? Who's going to do it for you? I'm not going to depend on a guy for money and he shouldn't have to depend on me either. I can protect myself as well. I don't like guys that are know it all and cocky, but I don't want to have to play mom for anyone but my future children and I don't expect or want anyone else to play mom for me. Compassion's a necessity but you should still be responsible for yourself.
And I read the answer with the biology thing about girls looking for providers, you said we should admit to that. If you think that then men should admit to looking for a piece of as.s. That's biology not psychology, ask to see my ovaries and I'll ask to see your sperm count. If you assume a girls sexist don't be offended when she thinks the same of you.You get what you give, give respect and compassion and take if from there.2 0 0 2Sorry for being nosy but you also answered a question about what's the next most important thing in a girl is besides confidence with "Having a stable life style, reliable income" How is that fair when you think it's sexist for a girl to expect that from you? And you believe in anarchy which is typically against social inequality.. you don't like taking charge.. but you want a girl to take charge.. I don't know that just seems sexist, hypocritical, and selfish. How would you treat a girl?
because the ditsy party girls are the hot ones
Awesome, well-articulated response. That was one of the best replies to the ridiculous griping that I've heard from this guys. Sometimes guys have little to no empathy for women because they think that society has a higher standard for men. The reality is that women have to deal with the double standard, body image issues, sexism and sexual objectification all the time. Hope you keep the good replies coming.
I would freak out on the guy beating up my boyfriend jump on his back like a wild animal and tear his eyes out and try to strangle him to give my guy a chance to get up recover and kill that mofo... lol yeah I would help a guy out I can't ask the same if I wasn't willing to at least try to help him. I would also call the cops. Any guy who would do that to someone for that kind of stupid reason is an obvious psycho. I would never want to have anything to do with a guy like that. Those kinds of guys murder their girlfriends and wife's. I think women look to guys to provide protection, and take care of you and be strong simply because men are physically stronger. most women could never over power a man in that way... and take care of wise it depends on what you mean. Women often prepare meals and take care of children do house hold stuff. we give birth to children. We can't do a lot of stuff in that state. So men are there to do what we can't. I think women do a lot of taking care of men... think about all the things your mom does for your dad assuming you had a traditional family. And not all men are emotionally detached this is an old idea from the past that is dying out. I would love to have a guy who was able to have emotions besides anger... You are only human we all have the same emotions.
0 0 0 0well still I get very extremely jealous
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you need counseling, therapy man, but yeah I will admit I get very jealous too, but I know how to use my conscience man
3 4 0 0Word.
yeah, there is more competition for us guys than girls
I would say competition is equal among the sexes hey no one knows how to compete like 10 year old girls... were pretty mean to our own... I know girls can be bitches we destroy other girls lives so we can be at the top. We don't compete for just guys though we compete for everything and we hold grunges for life.
i like this question, lol
0 6 6 2
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15 5I feel like you're really asking whether girls would find it attractive if a guy started a fight with an innocent person out of jealousy or frustration. The answer is a resounding no. Attacking another person as an outlet for emotions actually shows a type of weakness. It demonstrates a dangerous temper and a lack of self control. That screams "domestic violence" and it could not be less attractive. I can't imagine that you'd think anything otherwise.
2 0 0 1the bad-boy, jerk, cocky, arrogant guy that gets all the girls, how are those guys not innocent?
Sometimes jerks get girls. And sometimes bitches get guys. There's reasoning behind it but it rarely leads to happiness. People ultimately want to date good people. And that's what happens the majority of the time. It's natural for those who are single to have a biased view of this, but feeling resentful will actually do more tharm than good. Besides, if you WERE to start a fight with a jerk boyfriend, you would still be the one starting the fight and that's despicable.
actually most of the time they do, and I would love to start a fight with a jerk boyfriend, I'm jealous of his success
My boyfriend is someone I respect and care about. Why would I admire anyone who hurt him? He could hold his own in a fight if he had to, and he has (physically) broken up fights on occasion. But I would never want him to get into fights out of anger or jealousy, and if he got hurt by someone who started a fight for that type of reason, the outcome wouldn't affect my feelings for him. I don't like violence and while I'd obviously prefer that he protect himself, I would never judge him for being unable to. I'd be glad that violence isn't something he feels comfortable with.
Physical strength can be attractive, but cruelty most definitely isn't. I would never find someone more attractive because they started a fight, least of all someone who hurt a person I cared about. That's a matter of principal. And I don't see the media supporting violent behavior either, honestly.3 0 2 2Basically, I wouldn't want him to start a fight, but if he loses one that won't impact my feelings for him.
why wouldn't the outcome affect your feelings toward him?
Why would it? Obviously I don't want anyone beating up my boyfriend, but I wouldn't blame HIM for it. I would be mad at anyone who hurt him and I'd be glad if he was able to defend himself, but that's about the extent of it. I don't know what you're getting at or why you're suggesting that this should influence my feelings for him.
seriously what is wrong with you...? all the women have said that we wouldn't be interested in a guy that beat up our boyfriend. All the women seem to agree that we want a guy that is sensitive and understanding and that we don't mind taking care of them at times so why you so mad about it? your putting the standard there... The whole men need to be tough is just what other men think... not women
2 1 0 4well you girls always expect us to be strong, dominant, take charge, lead, etc.
you keep saying you girls but not one of the girls that have replied have said anything about guys having to be tough, strong, dominant
well most girls expect guys to be like that
Call the police
0 0 0 0HELP him? For beating up my boyfriend? FOR INJURING AN INNOCENT PERSON FOR NO APPARENT REASON?
F*** no. I'd take his ass down, in any and EVERY way that I could.2 0 0 2well the guy was jealous of him, envious
Then screw him. I would NEVER date a man so uncomfortable with himself and with such little self control that he PHYSICALLY HARMS ANOTHER HUMAN BEING for absolutely no reason.
and you girls can be uncomfortable with yourself and still get a guy, that's how easy you have it
My boyfriend is lanky, he's tall, but not much at all for build. I don't think it's a bad thing if he can be over powered. I'd definitely want the guy who did the sh*t to him to be reported to the police. I don't like big muscle guys, they make me self-conscious. I wouldn't go after him, just bring the police into it. And of course, nurse my man back to good health :)
0 1 0 2lol nurse him back to health, you girls expect the guy to take care of you, have that strong protective role
Well, in this case, I will be the one taking care of him :)
In a good relationship, you both take care of each other.
Wouldn't make me very happy at all
2 0 2 1I would try to help my boyfriend and I definitely wouldn't loose respect for him. I'd nurse him back to health and take care of him (I'm an EMT). I hate fighting and would loose respect for the other guy. He wouldn't get a chance in my book and I'd never talk to him again.
1 0 1 1why would you not lose respect for him?
My boyfriend did nothing wrong. Why would I lose respect?
because he was a weakling for not winning the fight
Well I'd hope he'd defend himself just because I'd defend myself the best way possible too.
0 1 0 3he would only be targeting your boyfriend, not you
I meant that if someone was attacking me, I'd defend myself, so I would expect him to do the same I'd someone's attacking him. I don't care about who wins or loses a fight, because you win some & you lose some.
if*
Obviously, I would prefer to be with the guy who kicks ass, But I don't expect him to be the hero all the time, if anything I would be pissed that he got hurt and I would have the other guy get his ass kicked.
1 2 0 1because I will admit I get jealous of the bad-boy, jerk, loud-mouth, talkative, cocky, leader, dominant type of guy
well people are usually jealous of what they are not..
yeah and unable to become that way too
I would start beating up the guy who’s beating up my guy because he’s trying to take my job
0 0 0 0AWESOME!, AMEN!
0 0 0 0yeah that would be enough to prove I am a man, that I have balls, I hate being assertive.
0 2 0 0men and women are not the same, do not find the same traits attractive.
0 2 0 0I would not be impressed by a guy who beat up my boyfriend. I don't care what the other guy's traits are. They ruined all their chances with me by attacking my boyfriend. I'd still be with my boyfriend.
3 1 1 3and why can't we guys do nothing to convince you girls to dump his ass? you girls can easily convince to guys to leave their girlfriends
Guys can convince girls to leave their boyfriends. However, beating up their boyfriend is not the way to do it.
why is beating up not the way to do it?
yeah I feel like that too sometimes
1 2 1 0You can't keyboard someone to death dude. The odds of you beating anyone up, are ...
2 1 1 2Well if someone tried to beat me up, I would call the cops press charges, and laugh as his ass gets raped in prison. Thinks he's a tough guy now, just wait till he meets Bubba in prison.
1 1 1 6lol
i would try to help but I also don't want to put my life in danger...i think the issue would be more how my helping threatens his own perception of himself as a "man." this is how the male ego often works in this society.
I don't agree with that definition of being a man, and it kind of makes no sense. you're telling me that the impulse to commit violent acts or hurt other people is not driven by emotions? yeah I'm gonna have to say I disagree. lol these are very emotionally charged acts usually. men are emotional as well.
and who the f*** are you to tell me what role I play in a relationship? lmao.
having swagger and attitude is not always synonymous with "tough guy." whoever said that is misinformed.
there are lots of stereotypes thrown around here that make me wonder if many of you guys have actual social lives or interact with people on a regular basis or if you get all your ideas about women from TV and what you hear about things, or very limited experiences. because even though this is true to an extent, a lot of women don't actually care if you're really tough. I would not lose respect for a guy if he lost a fight or got his ass kicked.
of course its hot if you have a guy who can defend anyone (not just you) and hold his ground but its by no means part of what I think "it means to be a man." I don't even have ideas like that to begin with, but that's on another level, another discussion. I honestly don't care if the guy I'm with can't fight. most of the people I hear drilling in that "tough it up, grow a pair" mantra are men. there are women that way too, but men are really into driving it home with their peers and making sure they don't step out of line.1 2 0 1well I hate how life, society, culture, the media, expect us guys to toughen it up, be assertive, aggressive, take charge and go after what we want, know what we want, make things happen, initiate, etc. It just makes me want to show the world, life, society, my anger, and frustration for making life like that, to show them I can toughen it up that way
well I hate lots of things. what does that have to do with my answer? get a therapist if you just want to vent.
well it just wants me to beat up a girl's boyfriend, to show my anger towards girls for them wanting a guy to be a "Man" in order to be boyfriend material, I hate the standards, traits, attributes that girls expect or want in guys
So...this guy who, unprovoked, just jumps in and attacks my boyfriend while he and I are walking down the street? It'd take a very large, very physically apt guy to beat my boyfriend up, just saying. But I do have some comments...
1. I do not *expect* that my boyfriend protect me. I can do that just fine on my own.
2. My boyfriend and I both have alpha personalities. I don't play the "daughter" role in my relationship.
3. I would not lose respect for my boyfriend if he got his ass kicked by some other guy. I would pick him up, dust him off, and tell him to keep on going. No one is going to change my mind about my boyfriend so I wouldn't judge him for losing one measly fight.
4.However, if it appeared that my boyfriend wasn't going to fair so well in the fight, of course I'd jump in. I grew up with 11 very rowdy, very male, cousins so I've been in my share of full on fights. But I wouldn't judge him or think him less of a man if I had to help him get out of a fight.1 1 1 2yeah well the vast majority of girls expect, want the guy to be the dominant one, the leader in the relationship
The majority do, I know. But I don't. Just my personality. Not hating on girls who like that role.
yeah because I want a girl that contributes, shows that she is not along for the ride, she takes charge once in a while too
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