Is it a bad idea, as a female, to put my hands on a guy who's touching my friend inappropriately in the club?

I remember a situation a few months ago where this creepy guy was damn near molesting my friend on the dance floor. I had seen this guy at the club before and I know he's creepy as hell. There was one incident I'll never forget. I was just leaving when some drunk, sloppy girl I don't know was "dancing" with him. Really he was just rubbing his d*ck on her ass while she stood there. He was feeling her up on her thighs, he punctured a hole in her nylon tights with his fingers and he was fingering her while his creepy, disgusting friend got in front of her and "danced" (although he looked awkward as hell with no rhythm whatsoever) in front of her, probably so the bouncers wouldn't see what was going on and intervene. I started to go up to her and ask if she was okay, but my friend rushed me out because she had work in the morning. I never forgot his face and immediately noticed him again at the club later. When I first saw him there, some girl had pushed him away from her like she was about to whoop his tush! He put his arms up defensively like "hey, I don't want to get my tush handed to me publicly. Sorry!" I got the impression he touched her the wrong way and she got pissed off. So when he approached my friend to dance with her, I stayed near because I know she’s kind of passive and he kinda has a track record for getting out of line with the creepiness. He had known her for less than ten minutes and he was f*cking touching her like they had some sort of intimate relationship! He was borderline molesting her, running his hairy, werewolf like hand down her back and trying to touch her thighs. She looked really uncomfortable but I didn’t do anything until he grabbed her forcefully and put his hand on her face. I took his hand and moved it. I guess I was kinda feisty about it. He got defensive and was like “I didn’t do anything.” With that “Don’t give me a public tush whoopin” hands up expression. I was just like “Don’t touch her like that.” Simply put; I'm just really protective over people I care about especially females who may lack a back bone or just not have the confidence and assertiveness to stick up for themselves and stand against treatment they don't like. Was I out of line? I seriously think there’s something wrong with him if he thinks it’s okay to act like that. Personally, I think he’s probably a virgin or has very limited sexual experience and the closest thing he can get to sex is grinding with a girl in the club so he acts like a damn fool. You can’t just go up to girls in the club and treat them like free prostitutes like that. Your opinion on this?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • nothing wrong with trying to help your friend out in an awkward and overall nasty situation I don't think. you just have to be careful and think about what you're doing though because you never really know who you're about to make contact with and they might be much more of a loose cannon than last time. I would avoid pushing or punching though because that can heat things up really quickly even if you're a woman.

    • yeah, that wouldn't have ended well for him. I had a lot of my dudes with me that night. Not just guys, but athletes who know all about being strong and aggressive and having a friend's back

    • no problem then. :) it's a lot better when you have other people there with you like that too, but still try to steer on the cautious side if it's applicable at the time. I think you did the right thing

    • You're right. I didn't want a physical confrontation, but sometimes it's like guys at the club get out of hand and think they have some sort of right to be disrespectful, act like a pig, and touch a girl however they want because of what she's wearing. I hate how so many guys are so self absorbed and assume that if a girl has on a form hugging dress or is showing a bit of cleavage that it's all because her goal is to catch his attention and impress him. No. Maybe the dress is for her because...

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  • Have you yourself ever experienced anything like what you described?

    What are you feeling when you see it happening to somebody else?

    Why exactly does it make you feel so uncomfortable?

    • 1. Yes, but lucky for me, I've always had the assertiveness to either walk away or move their hands because I'm uncomfortable with the situation. Also because it says a lot about the guy if he walks away when you move his hands or if he's more respectful or if he tries not to touch you in certain places and that helps me gauge whether I'd want to give him my number. 2. When I see it happen to someone else, my feelings vary because some girls like that. They feed off of the attention and male

    • approval. It's like the nourishment of water to a flower. Their confidence or lack of is like a humped over, lifeless flower and as soon as it gets that water, it springs to life and I can sense it. I can see it in the way they move and the way they insist on being overly sexual and acting like a stripper and how it's all about being sexy and not just having fun. It's like their goal is to just be sexy and that says something. So sometimes, I just feel like "Wtf girl, you are going to attract

    • the wrong type of men acting like that. Get it together." and other times it's, "OMG! Don't let him touch you like that. You look uncomfortable as hell!" sometimes I get pissed off because the girl will clearly be uncomfortable. 3. It makes me feel uncomfortable because you never know what kind of guy you're dealing with. Rape is common and I think it's just weird when a guy at the club is so aggressive and bold about being touchy feely with you even after you've moved his hands away.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't touch the guy, but I would grab my friend and pull her away. I've been in this situation many times. My friends are lightweight drinkers so I'm usually the sober one that has to look out for them and defend them from creepy guys. Just grab her by the hand and pull her off into the crowd.

    • That's a very smart way of handling that situation!

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