Why are guys pressured way more than girls to lose their virginity by a certain age? I kinda feel bad for guys

There is all of this pressure literally everywhere in life, society, culture, the media, that if a guy is a virgin 20 or older, it makes him look like a loser, pathetic, or guys are expected to lose their virginity before they graduate high school, if not, people laugh at them, make fun of them, and particularly, many girls, although I'm not one of them since I've taken a guy's virginity before, are repulsed, turned off by virgin guys, but guys seem to love virgin girls no matter how experienced they are. Movies such as The 40-year old Virgin, American Pie, Superbad, Sex Drive, all portray male virgins as the object of laughter, etc.
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So why is it socially acceptable for a girl to be a virgin at almost any age but almost never for a guy?
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I didn't know this until recently, but apparently guys are really mean to each other about this. Even fathers will sometimes poke fun at their sons for being a virgin/girlfriendless :/

    My professor (a behavior psychologist) argues that this sort of "virgin shaming" is somewhat based on biological factors... women are pressured to be pure because of the biological risk and men are encouraged to be promiscuous for the biological benefit. the more seeds he puts out, the more his genes are passed on. I'm not so sure if I buy it being solely based on biology, obviously there are a lot of social factors to it which I feel play more of a role... or maybe they only act as reinforces? idk

    I personally take no issue with virgin men, I've only ever slept with virgin men, actually >> lol

    • They're only mean about it if you let them be mean about it. Once you let them know it doesn't bother you that you're a virgin and that losing it isn't a priority in your life, they let it go.

    • thats good advice :p

Most Helpful Guys

  • we live in a very hypocritical irrational world. I've reached a point ini my life where I live my life the way want and don't compare myself to others . if one does that he will never be happy and will always measure himself up. everyone is different and has different opportunities in life compared to others.

    thats why I don't watch TV ever and stay away from gossip and all its depressing, anxiety provoking, and more or less sickening. at any given time just turn on your local news channel to see whos been short or murdered. about 95 percent of news is all negative and its just bad. I even try to cut back on the internet because even they are becoming a TV with commercials that you can't skip or bypass. even gag is imposing commercials and all . its just sick.

  • i don't feel pressured. I am still a virgin, the reason being is because I feel pressured that I have to be good in bed rather than having too sleep with someone. I am very girl shy.

    i think a lot of that is to do with image, the media, celebrities, movies. its make young people today are confused and don't know how treat themselves or their partner. I hate to say but I was sort of being brainwashed by it all. when I was much younger, I thought every girl wanted a rich man or a man that was a jerk. but older and wiser its not really the case. no one put those thoughts into my heads, friends or girls. I got it from the TV and movies.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • guy virgin=no experience with women or dating, will more than likely suck at sex.

    girl virgin=possibly just waiting for the right guy not a problem.

    Guys are expected to date and find a woman and have sex with them, having sex is kind of a way of saying I'm mature, at least physically anyways. Also guy's are almost always expected to somewhat lead and be great in bed, for those of us who care about getting a women to orgasm, if we come instantly or just flat out can't make a woman orgasm we feel like sh*t because we could not complish our job, and if she's faking it that makes us feel even more pathetic. Women don't normally have to worry about pleasing their boyfriends because it is extremely easy to make a man cum, simply doing a lap dance could even do it, women though have to be emotionally into it and not just phyiscially, so it would take a lot of skill to get a woman you just met emotionally into sex.

  • Are girls in high school actually REPULSED by virgin guys? I hope not. :-X

  • I kinda wonder this as well and I'm a guy lol I lost mine when I was 20 but I mean it was no big deal and I was not pressured.. more like she came onto me.

    • what do you mean she came onto you?

    • As in I was 20 and she was 37 and she asked me on the love seat "How would you feel if I kiss you" lol that's what I mean.

  • i know, it's embarassing

  • its looked down upon if a guy unable to get with girls.

  • To be honest I hate the pressure, I've never kissed a girl and whenever the conversation comes up with my buddies I just avoid it or change the subject, but I think its because men are supposed to be big and macho "beasts" I guess and (to me) women are more innocent or pure...just my two cents :D

  • Um... A guy has got to be good in bed for a girl so she can enjoy losing her virginity to her husband.

  • probably because if a guy is a virgin, it's more likely because he can't get any, but if a girl is a virgin, it's by choice, everyone knows how girls get to dictate, control the speed and process of sex, how much easier it is for them to get laid.

  • yeah it's a sad reality

  • I always assumed that I was a loser. I think they would know more about that than I would. Obviously, I'd be biased with it.

  • im a 21 year old male...i hate being a virgin..i used to avoid sex for religious reasons but I am now not a believer in a god that would send people to hell for having sex..However...i am VERY pro-life and value unborn children as just like any other children...so I would never be able to have sex with a pro-choice girl...men don't have rights over their unborn children and can't stop a woman from doing that...so I would never have sex if I wasn't ready to raise a kid if I wanted to. I can't lie though..i do feel like les of man..and I've also never had a serious girlfriend or even been kissed...it makes me sad to think..if I got hit by a car tomorrow...id never know the feeling of any of it...not sex...not putting my arm around a girl at a movie...never went to dance...etc...etc...I just wanna experience it...

    • ...(pats on the back) I feel your pain, I've never dated a women either, girls don't even try to talk to me for that matter

  • Because for one, girls who are and arn't virgins prefer a guy with experience because they think a guy as ironically as it is considering any avereage guy knows what to do but they assume they would have no idea how to have sex. whereas guys who are and aren't virgins are the opposite and prefer virgin girls.

    Guys consider it manly to lose it early now because its became the social norm and the idea of saving yourself is considered for losers