My boyfriend doesn't "please" me in bed anymore, what should I do?

My boyfriend of 2 years has come from good to HORRIBLE in bed. He just doesn't satisfy my needs anymore. He's either too quick and I never orgasm or he's too "small", not fully erected enough to do it and its really toggling with our relationship because we actually live with one another. Lately, after work all he's been doing these past months was come home, we have a quickie, yes a quickie and it lasts maybe 5-10 min and boom, he came already...I went to a sex store with a girlfriend wanting to buy a dildo and just satisfy myself like that because my boyfriend is being a real slacker. Even when I get horny, he'll say nooo I'm too tired, tomorrow. Help! What should I do? Its a matter of time I'll just get sick of the same old routine and just pleasure my own self.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Same thing here sis I don't knw what the f*** is their stupid problem should we f***ing cheat or what? Nowonder some women cheat but eish I don't have the gutts guess just gotta be honest talk to him if he don't listen cut yourself off from sex if he asks say your tired tmro ...its sick pleasuring your ownself wen you have a boyfriend its like cheating because that vagina belongs to him now rightfully


What Guys Said 7

  • Both of you should STOP having sex for the time being. You and your boyfriend should hit the gym, eat healthy, and get things done so that you both are happy.

    Moderate sex is good. Too much or too little sex sucks. But honestly, if a guy ends up having too much sex or masturbates too frequently, the penis will not be fully erect like it could be. The penis is like a muscle, so if he hits the gym and eats well, there should be better results. If he smokes, drinks too much, and has too much sex, expect a less-erect penis. Expect him to be lazier because it's used too much.

    Don't abuse sex. I don't care how much you want it - you need to control your hormones better before you ruin the relationship by cheating on him and being labeled a sl*t.

    Give your boyfriend time to juice up. Meanwhile, you save up your estrogen hormone to feel better. Don't be so addicted to sex.

    Trust me when I say it.

  • joshbgosh had a good answer. your just gonna have to keep turning up the kink factor to shake him out of his tiredness.

  • Talk to him about it?

    You could try taking different vacations or something (time apart) and then spend some time together again, maybe that will reignite the passion.

    You could also try to wake him up one day by either sucking him off or sitting on his face.

  • Asks him to give you oral sex. Premature ejaculation is very difficult to treat. If you are not satisfied with that you'll have to look for a new guy

    • I do not see why minus. I said the way it is. The decision is yours

  • he got bored of you. you ain't sexy to him anymore. just give him a bj in the morning so he wakes up seeing that and he'll be horny. or make him come once and then do it again because he can't come fast for the second time

    • What are you talking about he got bored with me? Did you read anything I wrote? I'm the one complaining here, maybe you should have not answered the question to began with because you sound like a real creep.

    • Show All
    • I agree with crazybastard

    • I read all you wrote and I agree with crazybastard. Your story sounds like he works all day, comes home tired, and there you are, all rested and expecting him to amaze and wear you out! So first he is tired and second it seems you are expecting him to lead the way. You need to spice it up. You need to try different things. You need to let him rest some evenings and try the next day. Yeah, you could be boring.

  • If he was good and now he's not good, you might have given him really crappy sex girl. You should reflect on that, it takes two to have good sex...May be you aren't any good in bed.

  • So he was good at the beginning, but it became an issue later. That is wierd. Esp the not getting fully hard, did he have hardness issues early on? If he's having issues like that, it can be the whole reason he is shying away. He doesn't want to be reminded that is happening. Did you put on a lot of weight in two years? Seen live ins do that and then wonder why he doesn't feel she is sexy anymore. If you are getting visably frustrated and he sees that, it can give him even more of a complex too.

    So, like many said, talk to him about it if you even care anymore, which it sounds like you dont. You don't sound like you love him or are very into him at all beyond the sex. Its not a performance sport honey, so take some responsibility in this v just putting him on blast here...


What Girls Said 3

  • I am going through the same thing, but I am a horny person. I noticed when we moved in together our sex life went down hill. I talk to him about it, and he says I pressure him. I don't get it but I try to deal with it, I bought myself toys for those lonely nights. I know I should dump his lame ass, but he makes me laugh. I know he loves me because, he cares about little stuff and my well being.
    He tells me all the time do you want "Dating Me" or "Life with Me", I tell him both. But I guess us women want it all, well we deserve it right?
    Meanwhile, I still try to rape his ass.
    Hope this helps

  • How often do you do it? Maybe you should give it a while. If you constantly ask for it, it gets old and he gets annoyed. Gum up the works. Buy the end of the month make him want it. Dress up. Make yourself look really hot and then just love him like that instead of wanting sex. Eventually he'll get horny and think, "well it has been a while she hasn't bugged me about it or anything."

    I'm always wanting to do it. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 4 years. Eventually he started saying he was to tired and that's all you wanna do. I waited patiently. Did little things in front him, got him to laugh and take bubble baths with me(without sex). I dressed up everyday(not in costume or anything, just as myself, hair fixed, new clothes, all that good stuff) and he started getting horny. Wanting to do it. So we finally did and just like you said above, he only lasted 5 to 10 minutes. Well that's the good thing about round 2 ;) and three and four haha. I always f*** him. I don't want him tired not this early. Say naughty things like "uhhh, make me cum", or "you like that wet p****", etc, etc. Be really comfortable. Every time my boyfriend and I have sex its good, even if it doesn't last long because I love him.