he only does it if nobody can see, but when we go out to eat and we are sitting at a booth (whenever we sit at a table like this he always sits right next to me and often keeps his arm around me), he will give me a little sly look and put his hands up my skirt and massage my upper thigh. he won't go up to my panties and he only does it if no one can see.
it feels dirty..but hot at the same time.
do you think this is disrespectful of him? if I push him away or tell him to stop he does. but I kind of like it..even though at the same time it is a bit dirty.
he didn't attempt it right when we started dating, at first he was very polite. I guess he tests the waters based on how I react.
i guess I like to be disrespected.
i guess I call it disrespectful because I have always been taught that a man should be very "proper" and treating a woman like a lady and part of that means not touching her sexually in public.
i guess it's a bit more raunchy/naughty than anything
i grew up in a very conservative background but I'm not really like that, so I guess part of me feels "guilty" or "wrong" for liking these things.
slash I guess most people would tell me it means he doesn't respect me in the slightest or that I'm his sexual object.
I don't see a problem with it, I like when my boyfriend does that too on occasion, as long as he's sneaky and no one can tell. It feels naughty and that's a big turn on for me. And you obviously like it, but you feel guilty for liking it because of the reasons you mention in your update. But if that's not YOU, then why should you feel bad? You should like what you like and feel no shame, you're not hurting anyone, and your boyfriend clearly respects you if he stops if you ask him to and 'felt you out' before he ever started doing things like that. =] Something like that isn't inherently disrespectful. How the other person feels about it is what determines whether it's disrespectful or not. It may be impolite and inappropriate to others around you, but if no one can tell, I don't see any harm in it.
It really comes down to whether you like it or not. If you're not sure if you like it then basically you're conflicted, which is still lousy, and maybe you should talk to him about it, or stop going out with him. If he keeps it up that is.
It might be a hidden turn on for you. If you like it, then I guess it wouldn't be disrespectful. Now if you don't like it, then yes it is. He is testing the waters with you. But if you don't like it, you need to let him know. If you do like it, then enjoy it while you can, or maybe even tell him to go higher.
Of course it makes you hot. Him touching you in a sexual place will make you hot whether it is right or wrong. Remember what your parents told you. Don't do anything sexual like that until you are married.
If you want a man who actually loves you and respects you as a person, you will wait until you are married.
I was in a similar situation with a boyfriend. He would do the same thing. At first I had mixed feelings about it. I thought it was inappropriate, but it was such a turn on. After awhile I let go of feeling bad about it and just enjoyed it. When I let go and got in to it, I would get annoyed if he wouldn't do it. Everybody is different. You just have to decide how you feel about it. He is doing it because he is turned on by you, it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't have respect for you.
it's only disrespectful if you've told him you don't enjoy it/like it and he does it anyway without considering your feelings. Doesnt sound at all like that's the case in fact you might be a bit of an exhibitionist and that being sexually aroused in public kinda gets you off and that's not abnormal at all. a lot of women like that