Do guys like passionate sex?

[Anonymous]

I hear from my friends most of the time that they guy does not like passionate sex. I wanted to know is that true to all guys or most guys? & if its kind of true, why? Me and my boyfriend are waiting till marriage, and a course like any other girl, I want my first time to be passionate but do you think that's what would be going threw his mind or want. The other thing I wanted to know, was for girls they feel psychically and mentally connected to the man. Do men feel the same way? What's it like in a guy's point of view with someone the love?

[MrOracle]

Many (most?) younger guys barely know what they are doing, and only know how to please themselves, or only care to. Many just *assume* that if it feels good for the guy, that it should feel good for the girl too, though that's often not the case. When I hear about some people's sex lives, I just have to shake my head.

I could tell you a lot of stories...

As far as how men and women think about sex, it CAN be very different. Most women don't feel especially sexual until they have an emotional connection with a guy, because sex and love/emotions are so closely tied for women that they're almost the same thing, and are inseperable.

Men aren't that way. Men have the ability to separete sex from emotion, so they can have and enjoy sex with girls they care nothing about. We're biologically designed to work that way. That doesn't mean guys never have emotions or feel love; we do. And when we love a girl, sex can and usually does intensify those emotions for us, but that only works if we loved her FIRST. If we have no feelings for a girl, we could have sex with her 100 times and there would still be no feelings, because sex doesn't create feelings for guys like it does for girls. Again that's biology at work.

I suspect that most guys are going to be anxious and nervous their first time having sex, which means they probably won't have much "brain power" left over to be passionate; there's too much else going on. And the first time (or couple of times) for girls is usually painful, and it's often awkward as well, for both people. It gets a lot better, but like any other skill, it takes work and practice to improve.

It also takes the right attitude. Again, a lot of guys think only of themselves, which means the girl doesn't really enjoy it, which means that those guys usually have to work hard to get sex again. Whereas the guys who realize that the girls need pleasure too tend to make the girls happy, which means the girls are all to eager to jump back in bed with the guy. The selfish guys c0ck-block themselves and don't even realize it, and they often have lousy sex because the girl isn't into it either. But most of those guys won't listen; the mind boggles.

I have no idea what kind of guy your guy is; it's something you'll have to talk about with him and figure out.

[Asker]

we are both emotionally connected on a level that is overwelming and when we are away from each other is hurts not just me but him as well. We have never had sex and that's just emotionally.. he's so in love with me just as I am with him. will he want that same desire for a first time in your opinion?

[MrOracle]

He'll probably want it, yes. Will he know how to do it, and will you? Probably not as well as you might hope, at least that first few times. But it will get better and better. And it will help a lot if you can talk about it and be honest and open with each other about what feels best and what isn't so great, so that you can learn how to please each other. Too many couples won't talk about it, and have miserable sex lives as a result. Don't be like that.

[qww382]

I'm friends with benefits with a girl now and sometimes we just have simple boring sex and other time we have more passionate sensual sex. I do enjoy being more passionate and sensual but it takes a lot. For me at least, I need to be really turned on and in the "loving" kinda mood instead of just wanting to have sex and orgasm.

You can't just say "oh lets have passionate sex". You could try but it's not going to be as good as it just happening naturally which, I think, if you both have really strong feeling for each other then it should be.

[xxluvcrumbs]

Yes, when a guy likes the girl a lot, more like falling in love with her prefer to have passionate sex and they feel physically and emotionally connected just as much as a girl will feel. It's a feel that is just amazing and much better than just hooking up with someone.

[Anonymous]

I only have sex with girlfriends and I don't hookup. But yes I like to be passionate. I want her to feel that I love her and have that "making love" feeling to it. You can still be hard and deep with it but I love to kiss her and hold her and embrace her whole body sometimes. I think plenty of guy enjoy that sometimes apart from the whole rough throwing the girl around kind. I like both and it depends on how we feel together at the moment.