Sexual Health
+1 y

Is this a bad habit? I think of my ex when I masturbate..

We were together for almost a year, we had amazing sex... and lots of it, I lived close by him, I saw him just about every other day. That was my longest and deepest relationship I've had... It's been about a year and a half since we've officially broke up but we've met up to have sex a couple of times... like I've said we had great sex.lol. I have moved on though, we won't work out as boyfriend & girlfriend. I have not moved on... sexually though, I will still have sexual dreams about him, I masturbate and think of him. At first I tried to resist this... but it just makes masturbation so much better... I am afraid I will only relate him with sex and any new guy I will think of my ex... SO do you guys, or girls, think of past lovers when you masturbate?
Updates:
+1 y
I "have sex with him" every night almost... It's actually something I really look forward to during the day. I have accepted I cannot be with him, but It's like I'm with him spiritually or something, like an imaginary friend.. after sex we cuddle and sometimes I talk with him intimatley about family issues, stresses, and what not, like we used to do when we were together. I am not depressed or anything, this actually really helps me cope... and makes me happy.
+1 y
sometimes I think I would be perfectly fine if I never had another boyfriend, Either I would get back with him, or be single for life which I am confortable with.. so I guess I'm not over him, but don't want to be with him at the same time... my imaginary version of him is a better lover and listener... haha
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • I have that problem too, I think about an ex girlfriend when I masturbate, I can relate, I had a girlfriend that was amazing and can't get her out of my head. I in the long run will, because we must move on. I do think is normal though to long for someone and if the sex was great it is hard to let it go some times.

    • is thinking about her the only way you can get off? This has been a blessing and a curse for me, because I never used to be able to masturbate/orgasm while masturbating until I imagined it with him.. thinking of other guys just doesn't do it for me..

    • nope, I just can't think of anyone else, for guys it is a bit different in this way, because we just stroke and it will happen, but I have her on my mind while I am masturbating, I think about how much fun we use to have. I can't help it. the sad part is she probably thinks about me and there is nothing we can do about this, because emotionally we are not a match outside of the bedroom.

    • ugh same situation here, like I just know he still thinks about me, there are two sides of me, the emotional/instinctive, animal side, that feels like my mate was stolen from me and the other more rational side that says he's not the right partner because of this this and this, and I should just focus on my school/career and what not... I feel like he's the one for me but not in this lifetime...gr!

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  • Its a bad habit if you want to get over him.

    You are over, and over, and over reinforcing in your brain that thinking sexually of him leads to a dopamine release.

    • You're reinforcing your imaginary relationship. If you want a real one, you need to let it go.

    • sometimes I can't control my insincts...like in the middle of the day I will be reminded of him, sometimes with smell, or someone's facial expression that looks like him, I just get this "love rush" I don't know what else to call it... oh also when I hear a car engine that sounds like his come down my street my body thinks "I get to have sex" ... gosh I'm a damn animal, haha

    • You are reinforcing those links though. You can't stop it from popping into your head, but you don't need to 'reward' your brain for thinking about it (via orgasm).

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 3

  • as a guy, I think of the one who turns me on the most ;)

  • hey,you still love him or else you are obsessed.

    • maybe its lust..

    • no,if it was lust you would have thought about me or any other guy out there.Why only him.

    • I've never had sex with you so I'd don't know what it's like.haha. He was basically my first, I mean I've had sex with other guys, but with him it was loving making, I hardly remember those other guys. I do love him, but like a brother, we've grown up together, we were friends for a few years before we started dating.. All our friends said we were going to get married. But anyways I just can't be with him so it doesn't matter. I still don't think this is so bad, as long as I'm not dating anyone

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  • Yeah that is a pretty bad habit. you can't really help thinking of someone or something else during sex sometimes, but honestly I don't think it would be fair for your next boyfriend for you to be thinking of another guy doing it.

    I would try to stop this habit if I were you

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