Sexual Health
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Black girls are too aggressive in bed?

the other day I was talking to my guy friend and he told me that he didn't think I got much male attention from white guys, I thought it was funny and I asked him why he thought that and he said that his friend who is white doesn't date black girls because he's scared that they would be too aggressive in bed and a lot of his other friends think so too. I've heard of guys not wanting to date black girls because of the typical stereotypes, they think there ghetto, or just aren't attracted to them or something but is the whole "black chicks are too aggressive in bed" stereotype something that guys actually think?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • im black and I've heard so many different stereotypes about myself that it never fazes me anymore. some of the stereotypes are true for some girls, but not all. that goes for everyone.

    I've heard the aggressive thing too. I don't know what people mean when they say that. I assume they mean "too dominant" (because black women are all big scary black men, in reality. its a fact.) but aggressive can be as simple as initiating sex to me, or being more involved than a stereotypically passive female partner is supposed to be (not being a dead fish), etc. its all semantics I guess. I guess aggressive does have a negative connotation though. I've never had someone tell me I was aggressive but I'm not passive either. I'm pretty active and I know what I want but I'm not violently forceful. lol I'm like submissively active in bed if that makes sense. love to be dominated and I love feeling like I'm his bitch, but I'm not going to just sit there, basically.

    Oral sex is another one. Actually had a guy tell me he liked me but he heard that black girls don't like oral sex, so he wouldn't ever try to get with me. first of all, don't come at me like that, like, who are you? I didn't even respond in protest, there was no "but wait - I'm not like that!" which I think is what he was looking for, he wanted to open this up for conversation. I wasn't up to deal with anything that night so I just said "well, that makes sense - go for what you find compatible." and then I turned to my other friends and joined in their conversation. fun fact - sucking d*** is one of my favorite hobbies. I love it. especially if its vanilla :D

    ive also heard that black girls are not as comfortable with receiving oral sex. I expect it, to be honest. I think it came from being spoiled in my relationships. for some reason I've only been with guys who love to go down on me.

    also I've heard black girls don't want you to touch their hair, and they don't want it to get wet or sweat it out, or mess it up during sex. lol this one doesn't bother me much because I know its true for the vast majority of black girls, but it doesn't usually apply to me. well my hair is natural and usually not straight so 95% of the time its not an issue - I can do shower sex, pool sex, rain sex (yup), whatever. I also don't care if they touch my hair during bj or something.

    ive also heard black girls are more open to anal because of their big butts. that's definitely not true, not just for me but for most black women I've talked to about that. I don't even have a big butt anyway so maybe that doesn't apply to me.

    the only stereotype that I've heard that applies to me is "black girls get very wet"

    the "black girls are aggressive and primal" stems from stereotypes imposed on africans by Europeans and then developed upon more during transatlantic slavery - the jezebel stereotype. you should read about the history. its not pleasant but that's where it stems from. its perpetuated today - hip hop videos.

  • I don't know why people have this stereotype, most of us tend to like our guys to be the aggressive ones. I know this is one big generalization but hey, that's the topic of discussion but the stereotype of black girls being all aggressive and the guy being submissive is really inaccurate, I can tell those guys who think so are really misinformed. Most of us prefer aggressive dominant guys but you can take turns in bed I thought everyone does that. But then again some girls think white guys are too wimpy and soft so I guess all the stereotypes even it all out

    • Right on, Mlle. I have always found that the girls I dated like you were, shall we say, very feminine ~ and were very comfortable with their sexuality, which just made those sweet ladies all the more attractive to me.

  • I'm black and I think you can tell a lot about a guy depending on the way he kisses you. I like to kiss hard, because I would like the guy to try to dominate me (and win ofcourse). If they fall back or kiss too lightly, I loose interest.

    I'm a virgin too though (by choice) so I can't say for sure that I won't be aggressive in bed. However, I like to be dominated so I'd to think I'd probably end up being quite submissive.

    Regardless, I'd think that how a person is in bed is pretty much down to the individual not the race.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I know this is not the newest question but I have a very appropriate answer to this question. Stereotypes are just about the worst way to make a decision about and group, individual or anything.
    My wife is a beautiful dark skinned black woman who grew up in Queens New York. We have been married for 15 years... anything anyone reading this has pictured in their head is not correct, OK.. she grew up playing stickball in the streets and has street smarts, I am sure she can kick my arse. She is also a graduate of West Point, a medical doctor and at two stars, that is Major General in the US Army, she is the highest ranking black female in the US Army... I she is close to being one of the most powerful women in the USA. Bet you did not see that coming. But you know what... she is just the love of my life and the mother of my son. To conclude why this question is one I am qualified to answer... I am a west coast white guy. And our life has been freaking awesome... Now lets take this to the bedroom... ever heard the term "once you go black, you never go back". or "black don't crack"... well for this white boy (57 actually) it is a true statement... for us... she is flat out exciting... at 50 she is built in the term thick but muscular... tough as nails and sometimes we can't get at each other fast enough and she is aggressive as hell, takes the lead and was obviously wanting this action for sometime because at this times she wants it and is in the mood to grind... I love that aggressiveness and during these moments... she is in control with her athletic body... we both agree black women in general are loaded with stamina and energy... nights like these are hypnotic to me... I never ever have felt closer to another human ever... there is no no and believe me no never entered my mind... so will I ever go back... no I will always make love to a black woman... this black women. Is she sexy? omigawd yes... being with a black woman is special... these women, God's gift to the rest of us in that God is showing the highest of high levels human beauty... do not age, youthfulness remains... they don't crack... Black women are my idea just how beautiful a human spirit can be. I know this all sounds sappy... a long time ago... I created in her a heartache that was my fault and I hurt who I loved more than my life... it still haunts me at times and will always make me tear up... For Gos's sake listen to my words never hurt her if you are as lucky as me to have a woman as good as her love you... learn like that song says... ask yourself hove ever loved really really love a woman.

    This has strayed a bit, the overall answer is how could someone fear aggressive love... aggressive in my book is really called passion... if passion is a problem for white guys out there... then stay out of their way... black women burn bright... it is who they are... me? I am the luckiest man alive... Never try to figure out why certain things are the way they are... just love her back, and ALWAYS be true.

  • "he's scared that they would be too aggressive in bed and a lot of his other friends think so too."

    What pussies. What guy wouldn't want a p*rn star in bed. Its like winning the lottery. Losers.
    Nope I don't think that, I've never dated a black girl but would like too. Hardly any black girls here, though last 2 hot black girls I saw they had white BFs.

    Will them being ghetto put me off yes, just being honest. After all I would have to take them to see my mother too. I do definitely find black girls attractive, and them being aggressive in bed, come on that's just awesome.

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What Girls & Guys Said

8 14

  • I have never heard this before. Interesting. I don't think it is true but I don't know.

  • I wouldn't say "too aggressive", I would simply say "comfortable". The one thing I cannot stand about a white girl is how they are always talking about "how their butt looks". (Is it too big, is too big in this?)>

    A black girl proudly shakes what her momma gave her, and never thinks about it. My kinda babes.

    :)

  • Never heard this.

    I've heard it suggested they give oral less, but I haven't heard that widely reported as being accurate, it was more something I've heard suggested once or twice, with jewish girls being at the other end of the continuum. Never heard of anyone really seriously taking it into account.

  • I highly doubt there is any woman who would be too aggressive in bed for me.

    Personally I've never thought of that.

  • I heard this stereotype about every race, generally from guys of a different girl they are accusing of it so I don't see how it could apply. I don't see how that could be an overall turn off though, I mean I would prefer to dominate but there are black girls that would suit different guys tastes

  • Personally, I've never dated a black girl but I would like too. I don't have any preconceived notions as to how they are in bed because I'd rather find out for myself :)

  • If most black women prefer black men, and the stereotype is that black men are dominant and aggressive sexually, how would it be true that black women are the same way? People need to work on their stereotyping lol.

  • HOW IS THAT A BAD THING?

    • ;p;

  • I've never knew Black girls were aggressive... I always thought we're assertive/passionate about what we like

  • I have never experienced one in person so can't say much.

  • I don't believe in stereo types but if it were true what guy in his right mind complain If a girl was aggressive in bed? I sure wouldn't

  • are u aggressive in bed?

  • I think that black women are more aggressive in bed, but in a completely positive way. I think that they are not afraid of expressing themselves sexually. Honestly, I am very attracted to women of color.

  • From what I hear, Most guys welcome that.

  • There are ****some***** black women who may perpetuate or try to perpetuate that stereotype that black women are "too aggressive in bed".. However, I love being with black women behind you know where. The black women that I've been with are sexually decisive and sexually direct, which is a huge turn on in my book. They've told me to the three words that every guy wants to hear. You know what those words are ladies. ;) Generally speaking, I don't think black women are too aggressive in bed. However, I've heard an possible urban legend from the TV show "The Practice" that black women love really aggressive sex. I don't know if it's true are not. However, I will say many black women are marvelous lovers.

  • No big deal

  • How is that bad?

  • Black girls are pretty aggressive, but I look at that in a positive way. It has been really hot in the past when black girls have told me I had a huge d*** or they wanted to rape me or ride me, etc. I think black girls are more assertive, but you will have to get a dominant man type to really enjoy it. It might scare the sissy guys!

  • I'm not really into caring what other races think of me. If a guy is gonna have ridiculous racial stereotypes then why would I want to date him or sleep with him for that matter? See this is why I date my own men, much easier

    • Think outside of the box; not all of us are like this. I am as white bread as it comes, and although I am married, I find black girls insanely attractive.

  • Personally... No such thing as too aggressive hun ;) maybe they are just worried about being called out on their flaws most white men are in intimidated by black women because of how outspoken amd strongwilled they are.

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