Are most girls self conscious about their bodies the first time sleeping with a guy?

[whateverdude]

I think almost every time I slept with a girl for the first time they acted really insecure about their bodies whether some of them had some extra pounds to the ones who were extremely thin they all seemed to be bothered by their bodies--some more so than others. why is that even if I tell them they are beautiful and their bodies they are normally like No I don't like this or I don't like that when most of the time their complaints are totally unfounded and absurd and a lot of times I feel that they would be "better" in bed or enjoy themselves a lot more if they just forget about their hangups. I mean isn't a guy wanting to be naked and have sex with them a big comfort and a relief in itself for her self esteem? where does all this self doubt come from...is it innate or come from ones peers or parents. I mean guys have insecurities too don't get me wrong. but when it comes to their bodies most guys seem fine with themselves after a few seconds or minutes even the ones who are pretty damn fat. so ladies please explain if you are weirded out with sleeping out with a guy for the first time Because of your body? and do you normally feel more self conscious if you know the guy well and have fallen in love with him deeply prior to bedding him or more self conscious if its with some guy you think is hot and don't really know and have no feelings for?

[DianaWest]

Well, I haven't yet slept with a guy. Still waiting and praying that I will magically shed those 20 pounds of dough before I fall in love with a guy (which I have, but am too damn chicken to say anything). It doesn't really help that I don't have boobs either. Some chicks are a bit overweight but at least they are curvy and sexy. There is nothing sexy about my flab. I am actually scared to talk or flirt with guys. I am just too mortified by my own disgusting flab. I know you have to be confident and all that, and despite the fact that I am almost 19, I am a B-cup and 20 pounds overweight. I may just be a virgin forever. A lot of guys themselves keep saying how much they dislike fat/overweight girls, how much they want a D-cup, and so on. And I know if the guy loves you and all, it shouldn't matter, but you just can't help feeling inadequate and like a lump of coal when a hot girl sits near you at the beach, while you're desperately pulling at the damn towel and wishing it were longer.

[goflipaburger]

Body image issues are socially inflicted. It's really like a social disease :p Someone willing to have sex with us doesn't boost our self esteem, and most people won't go for it to help with it.

Even though I love my body when I'm alone, I admit I do have body image issues while with others. I would imagine this would be the case in any situation.

I know I don't like anything like I'm "supposed" to. When I'm alone, I adore that. When in company, not so much. I know how I feel about my body, but I can never really know what they think of my body. Words are words, what I'm thinking they're thinking can be worrisome :p

[arb04]

I still felt insecure with my body the fiirst with my boyfriend and we were in love and had been dating for months by then. We just want to look perfect and think you guys can see our every flaw. The media gives us the wrong preception about what women look like and most of us don't look like what's in the media so we feel that something is wrong with us. I think our perception of what guys want and careabout is skewed.

[lola2lip]

society puts a lot of pressure on the way girls look. especially toward men. even the most confidant girls have some insecurities. when a girl sleeps with a guy she has never been with before, she is exposing herself to him, and she is not sure what he will or won't like about the parts of her body he has never seen before. it just how it is, and I don't think its going to stop unless society decides to suddenly accept all body types. just be kind, and understanding, because you actually could traumatize her for life.. not to sound dramatic, but its true :P

[nadiya]

I've never been insecure with a sex partner, but then again I've never had sex with someone I wasn't already comfortable with. But I am also just very comfortable with my body, no matter what it looks like. I know I'm awesome and whether or not you choose to know that is on you, not me.

[scnbabe89]

Yes for me in general I am. I hate my body and I'm always trying to fix it but no matter how hard I try it still needs help.

[redheadgirl]

Men judge women and so do women, it like this a guy no matter if he has a gut hanging out goes toppless on the beach a women with one fat roll where's a one piece. It's how we are taught to look at our selves. I am always worried the first time even if he tells me I'm beautiful.

[PoeticNinja]

When I am involved with someone, I'm actually concerned as to how he views me. It's strange knowing he's going to see my body naked, knowing it's not the best and I have many imperfections.

It's hard to relax during sex then to a certain point, I'd get over it.

I don't care if the guy had sex with one girl, I'm going to think he's comparing me to her.

[badAngel]

Not me. I love my body. I don't like to wear too revealing cloths when out etc. I like to stay classy. But I am deep inside craavviinnggg so hard to get naked with him. Showing off and tease the hell out of him before letting him do anything. I know very well what simply a womanly, a womans naked body. Just simply a woman being naked. What it does to a guys head. There head spinning from horniness just by the view. You don't have to be flawless. I'm not saying I'm completly perfect but I know that the things I happen to worry about sometimes. He doesn't ever even notice. Plus I like to stay fit and showing off is extra fun when you KNOW what kind of effect you have on him

[pheabs]

yea its true we are concious about how you will view our body..

however, personally, if I feel desired and I can see you find me

attractive it won't bother me anymore.. : )

[RebeccaSJ]

I wasn't.

[JennieF]

A lot of us are.

[Anonymous]

Sure guys won't feel so shy being naked with a girl because you,guys, know that we girls are not so visible as you!

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry, visual

[Anonymous]

I'm more aware of the fact that we're both naked lol. If I'm positioned a certain way, I'm concerned about my stomach bunching. I'm not fat, rather thin, actually, but when I crunch, you can see the pudge lol. But I'm soon distracted. It's more of a side note thing for me. I'm much more concentrated on what's going on than what I look like.

[Anonymous]

I love my body but it takes a while to get used to a new sex partner and their mannerisms, likes...etc. That's why I find the transition a bit easier since I'm already in a relationship with them and I already feel comfortable with them, its also about being confident that they want you and they won't see something they don't like and reject you, its easier to relax and enjoy it when you know their intentions and that they love you

[Anonymous]

Ok

Most of us are self conscious yes.

If I'm just hooking with a guy ( meaning I don't really want a future with him ) I wouldn't really care what he thinks of my body .

BUT

If I really like the guy , ofcourse I will be self conscious because I want him to think I'm the most beautiful girl ever ( I know its stupid but its the truth , we want to feel special ) , so I have cellulite on my thighs or stretch marks on my boobs I don't want him to be disappointed .

Even if he says I look fine and all , and as you say "I mean isn't a guy wanting to be naked and have sex with them a big comfort and a relief in itself for her self esteem?" , nope its not , because we know guys have low standards for hookups ( you can hookup with lots of girls and still think they aren't all that hot )

So yeah...