Why do guys want us to act like sluts in bed?

I think it's degrading and slutty to do things like oral sex, anal sex, positions like dog style, role play, rough sex, ejaculating all over her body (very disrespectful and gross), sex in random and not romantic places like a car or shower, spitting for lube, copying what you see in p*rn, making her watch p*rn and my list goes on... guys want to use us like their own personal sex doll. Its wrong.What's wrong with romantic sex ?

 

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What Girls Said 13

What Guys Said 13

  • I don't think men are trying to degrade anyone. I think the things you listed are simply ways to keep the sex more interesting and fun. When you say "romantic sex" I think a lot of guys might roll their eyes because the first thing that goes through their mind might be, "Shit, THAT'S gonna get old."

  • if you want to be a prude and boring and bed along with having issues with having an orgasm and letting go than fine be that way. I enjoy all those positions/sexual things :)

  • Nothing is wrong with romantic sex. But there's also nothing wrong with any of the other things you described, as long as they're consensual and the girl wants to do them. I WANT to do them. I LIKE oral and anal sex, different positions, rough sex, playing pretend, being ejaculated in/on, sex in the car or shower and various other places, using saliva in place of lube if necessary, acting out something interesting I've seen in p*rn, watching p*rn with my guy and on my own time, etc. I do these things with my boyfriend, both because he likes them and because I often request those things. I don't feel disrespected or used because I'm not doing anything I don't WANT to do, and I know how my man feels about me, and that he desires me. I also like sensual romantic sex in our bed, just kissing and being sweet, cuddling on the couch watching tv, and a plethora of other nonsexual activities. Our sex isn't any less romantic when it's 'raunchy' like that, because we love each other and those feelings don't just turn off based on the kind of sex you're having at any given moment. Get real, lol.


    Those kind of sexual activities are degrading to YOU because YOU feel like they will degrade you. But they're not inherently degrading to anyone when it's consensual. I don't feel in ANY way degrade when I do those things, whether it's my idea or his idea.


    If you feel like those things are degrading to you, then don't do them. But don't sit here and say that all the rest of us, who enjoy a variety of sex acts, are trashy and degrading ourselves just because YOU would feel that way doing anything other than slow missionary sex in bed, under the covers, while the guy croons some soft love song in your ear and keeps his hands to himself the entire time. Keep your stigmas to yourself dude. Don't degrade ME for liking things you think are degrading to YOU.

    • Aw, thanks dude! =D No worries, I'm not easily creeped, lol.

    • You're really pretty


      sorry, not trying to be a creep

  • You are acting as if females don't get enjoyment for oral sex, doggie style, rough sex, watching p*rn, this is false. I enjoy watching p*rn of my own voilition, I enjoy rough sex, rough sex is one of the most common female fantasies, many girls enjoy oral sex both giving and receiving.


    Your idea of romance seems to include only missionary, which is pretty closed minded of you. Role play is enjoyable for both parties and many find it very romantic. You need to open your mind.


    Many women enjoy sex and all the ways that sex can be enjoyed, its not just something for men to subjugate us to, don't subscribe to that antiquated way of thinking, that's what bars female sexualoty and keeps it stunted as seems to be the case with you.

  • There's nothing wrong with romantic sex, but I'm curious. What about the things you've listed do you find degrading?


    Personally, I don't see any sexual act as inherently degrading. What makes something degrading is the person's intentions behind them. If a person doesn't respect you, or wants to degrade you, then those things are degrading. But if you're coming from a place of mutual respect, trust, love, and pleasure, what's wrong with them?


    I mean, a lot of girls actually like the things you've listed. If it turns me on when my partner ejaculates on my body and I WANT him to, is it degrading for him to do so? If I love oral, anal, rough sex and roleplaying, is it degrading for my partner to do those things for me? If doggiestyle hits all the right places for me and brings me to orgasm, is that position degrading? If spontaneous sex in the shower or the car is a lot of fun to me, is it degrading to have sex in those places?


    Obviously if your partner pressures you into doing something you aren't comfortable with/don't want to do, that's wrong. If your partner is selfish and doesn't care about the fact that you don't enjoy certain things, that's wrong. On the other hand, compromise is good in a relationship, and most people enjoy turning their partner on and bringing them pleasure, so it's okay to do things for your partner's sake, even if you aren't necessarily turned on by them yourself/receive direct pleasure for them (I'm not saying to do things that are painful to you or that you're really against doing, but if you're neutral about it, it's cool to indulge in your partner's fantasies/try it out; and for them to be willing to do the same for you).


    Different people like different things when it comes to sex, and not every session of sex has to be the same. I like a variety of romantic sex and kinky sex. And to be honest, when I have kinky sex with a partner who loves and respects me, and we both derive mutual pleasure from it, I still find that romantic.

    • Extremely well said!

  • copying what you see in p*rn IA with but mostly guys want you to enjoy sex as much as they do and if you don't really enjoy sex then you need to find an equally conservative guy to yourself someone who also isn't really into trying anything but the basics

  • There is a good many of the things on your list that I as a woman truly enjoy. How can you call oral degrading?

    I find very rough unwanted sex, anal, snowballing, ejaculating on face things that are degrading.

    I love role playing and romantic sex.

  • i love oral sex, doggy style, rough sex, coming on me, sex in random places, etc. its wrong to you. don't do it then. don't speak for all women though. many women are able to have sex without being brainwashed into thinking romance is the only possible way to derive pleasure from sex. I'm a woman, a sexual person, not some neat little clean character from a story book. I'm really sorry about that. I think you're degrading me from a sexual human being into whatever caricature of woman that you find inoffensive and "nice." id appreciate it if you accept that what you want is not what I want. plenty of women can get off on non-romantic sex and a whole gamut of things that you haven't even listed. don't try to take away our sexuality just because you may simply not be as sexual as a person. I don't believe in calling women sluts, and I don't have respect for people who judge women who enjoy their sexuality that way. but its your prerogative at the end of the day.


    to answer your question - not all men are into all of those things. there are men who are just as narrow minded as you are or very conservative in their sexual tastes. that's totally fine. other men are just more into kinky stuff. p*rn has a lot to do with this but isn't at all the source. kinky things have been happening for centuries throughout the world. some men have sexist issues, others just want to enjoy sex of different kinds and don't have hangups about gender. it varies from person to person but the most basic answer is that theyre horny.

  • Why can't it be fun trashy and loving all at the same time? I don't find it degrading to be treated like a sex object in the bedroom but that is probably because I am submissive and enjoy it that way. Obviously you have very strong opinions on sex and that is your right, I just disagree. The only way rough, nasty, aniamalistic sex would be wrong or degrading would be if both parties do not agree to that type of play. There are women out there like me that don't like romance so that type of intimate moment wouldn't really tickle my fancy.

  • I thought oral was really degrading too, but its only fair if he does it too you, right? One of the things guys enjoy the most is oral. As for anal, you don't HAVE to do it. Girls usually do turn it down unless they're actually that horny. I turned it down. Still am. That's perfectly fine. Sex in cars or in shower CAN be romantic, depends on how you make it. You yourself can make it romantic. If you don't feel comfortable with something, NEVER lie and say its okay. If he doesn't respect that you don't like something, then he's no good. Hope this helps :)

  • So that's your opinion, but most women like all kinds of sex no just lay down have it done. I personally enjoy oral sex and love it when he comes in my mouth on my face. I also enjoy him going down on me. Does this make us slutty? I think not. We love each other and that's what matters and all the sex fun is a bonus and makes it so much fun. And so just to disgust you more here a list of our do's.


    Oral sex till we come, and in each othes mouth.

    Vaginal sex in every posititon we can come up with.

    Coming on my body!

    Pantyhose footjobs.

    Tittyjobs

    Handjobs.

    Dirty talk.

    Sex in different places, car,shower, our walk in closet, laudry room., dining room,kitchen.

    Use of lubes and sex toys.

    I swallow sometimes.

    I'm sure I left a lot of stuff out.


    No anal.

    No snowballing.


    Enjoy!



    • no third partners either, that just leads to problems down the line. I forgot no pain as well.

    • Those are seriously the ONLY two you will not do? Think I am becoming envious...O.O

  • I don't think giving a guy oral is derogatory if he would do the same for you. If anything it's just making each other feel good (give and take). I am a virgin but even I know that having sex in random places is just to add to the excitement, as is different positions. I hope you find a guy that is compatible with you, and also doesn't want to do any of those things, Otherwise, I'll feel sorry for him.

  • Because sex is supposed to be fun & many women(including myself) have no problem doing things that benefit the both of us. I love giving oral sex and changing positions keeps sex alive and fun


    Romantic sex doesn't have to be boring. With the right person, it'll be romantic no matter the position

    • I really don't believe anyone should try to determine what is and isn't degrading for consensual acts during sex. It may not be her cup of tea but that doesn't mean she should condemn and shame men and women who are into these things. Millions of women could speak up and actively talk about their preferences for these acts


      It's 2012, no one should be slut shaming or sex shaming anymore

    • I concur

    • & if 2 people love one another it'll be loving no matter the position or act, so long as it's consensual.

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  • Selected as most helpful

    Guys watch too much p*rn. They think they should behave like a p*rno movie.Porn movies are more harmful than useful. I agree that sex should be romantic and guys should pay more attention to the girl's needs.

    • This is what you get when you worship women.

    • Did you even read what she wrote? She's saying that doggie style, oral sex, role play, and things like shower sex are all sluttly

  • may be the p*rn watching makes us wanting more in sexual acts from a women, but come on saying oral sex and doggy style degrading and slutty is stupid.


    So what do you want - spreading your legs and let him enter into you. Is this sex no that's only called robotic f***ing.


    btw nothing is wrong with romantic sex but it doesn't mean to call other sexual acts gross.

  • Nothing is wrong with romantic sex. What's wrong with fun, recreational sex? And how many guys have treated you like a slut?

  • There is nothing wrong with making love it is very pleasurable and emotionally intimate in a way couple rarely all, however even the most romantic people sometimes don't want to make love they want to f***, they are the same action but entirely different atmospheres and while making love is slow and romantic f***ing is violent and nasty

  • "why" is generally impossible to answer. Why do you like the things you like? You just do. Guys like it (not all, but many).


    We can only _guess_ why.


    I'd say:

    A: I find it hotter and more exciting.

    B: I feel more desired and wanted by her when she is wilder. When she only wants romantic sex, I feel like she is only having sex as a side form of being emotionally in love. I want her to feel lust for me, like I do for her.


  • Hmmm...while I don't do half of that...you would obviously not be happy with me...o.O

  • There's nothing wrong with romantic sex. There's also nothing wrong with cheese pizza, vanilla ice cream, or tuna salad, but I'm sure glad that's not the only thing on the menu.

  • Trust me I'm a normal guy who hates women to act like sluts, we are not all the same and there are some strange people out there

    • Well let me clarify, if its with mutual consent with any couple then I guess no matter what they do is fine, if women or men are degraded or made to act in a certain way when they don't want to then that's strange and wrong, when I say normal I guess I mean consent. Hope that clarifies but I'm sure some of you out there will rip my statement to shreads, hey ho

    • This is gold. Peedesperation claims that he is a "normal guy" and proceeds to slut-shame and describe others as "strange". :D

  • I feel as though...you are wrong!

    • Also, if you're going to attack men, at least have the decency to show us who you are, instead of hiding

    • He doesn't respect you. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you or not have sex with you...why would you want to have sex with a guy who doesn't respect you anyway? Guys like, soft sex AND rough sex, whether you like it or not, don't take it out on the entire male population because one f***ing guy f***ing screwed you over, got it?

    • "men don't have respect for women we are just sexual objects"


      one is as much of a sex object as they let themselves be. Perhaps you've laid on your back with someone you aren't in a loving, committed relationship with and want to pull the "I was used card," but you allowed yourself to be a sex object and have no one to blame but yourself. Common sense would say don't lay on your back with someone you aren't in a relationship for

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  • So basically everything a guy likes is disgusting and degrading to women, but we should simply accept what you want for "the way it is"? Seems legit...

    • You think every guy likes that emotional romantic bullsh*t that you're spouting? How is it not women using men as objects to get their sappy "making love" way with?

    • No, trashy p*rn gets all its ideas from guys.

    • "yeah it is degrading women aren't sex objects made for guys to get their way with. Guys get all their ideas from trashy p*rn."


      That's the appeal of raunchy, experimental, FUN sex. You're there to please one another and to be pleased. P*rn can add spice to a sex life if both partners enjoy it. You may not like p*rn, but couples who use it as a way to pick up on new ideas love it and some may even need it(coughsuch as yourselfcough)

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  • Whats wrong with romantic sex AND hot sweaty rough sex?


    It's about letting yourself go in the emotion and the feeling. Romance is tender and sweet but it uses a higher level of brain power to make it amazing. Really carnal sex is about getting lost in the moment and enjoying yourself. There's nothing wrong with either.

    • You do each position until you're comfortable with it then move on. You won't feel like an animal since he's still tenderly giving you affection and space.

    • ... you from behind (cuddling position). Then laying you on your stomach and he's on top in the missionary stance. Then presto! You just pop your ass up on your knees and suddenly you're going doggy and he's got you by the hair.

    • Sounds like you just need some transition positions to get you used to it.


      I know some women that initially don't like doggy can gradually get over the mental stigma they have with it by using different sex positions. Like missionary to flipping you on your side and getting one of your legs up on his shoulder. Then having you fully on your side with both legs bent in front of you while he's still on his knees hitting you from the bottom. Then having you both on your side while he takes...

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  • Just because it's not you're thing, it doesn't make it "wrong".

    If it's not your thing, why do you want to understand it?

  • "What's wrong with romantic sex ?"


    Nothing wrong with it. It might get boring after a while though.


    • Speak for YOURSELF. It's NOT degrading for me or the millions of other women who love doing it. You aren't the spokesperson for us all, so keep your close minded attitude about you

    • Yeah yeah yeah... we know you think anything other than missionary is gross.


      Change your frakking record once in a while, will you?

    • well at least it's not degrading and dirty like the things guys want

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