I'm too tight, my boyfriend is too big. It's becoming a problem!

[Anonymous]

I'm really tight, my boyfriend is really large. Sex hurts us both. Any suggestions or tips?

[TheAnswerer]

People said it already, but I will try and sum it up.

The four most important factors are Lubrication, Arousal, Relaxation and Control.

Lubrication may refer to your own fluids, or to some lubricator bought from a store. It is critical in reducing friction and any friction related pain.

Arousal, other than helping natural lubrication, causes your vagina to expand, possibly reducing the discomfort. It also helps with lubrication.

Relaxation refers not only to your mood, but also to the contraction of vaginal muscles. When you expect pain, you involuntarily contract the related muscles, and when you do that with your vagina, you are literally shrinking the opening, making penetration much more difficult and painful.

Control is another factor. If your boyfriend takes control, he might go too fast, or too deep, or too painful. He can't know the best way to pleasure you, without you helping him. Controlling the speed and depth of penetration (and being on top helps you gain some control) will make it easier for you.

A possible solution I see is extended foreplay. Foreplay leads you to relax, and it spikes your arousal, potentially leading to natural lubrication. Plus, it is fun. Three of the four factors handled, right there. All you have to do after that is to take control, and adjust the speed and depth of penetration. Chose a position that allows you to have the control. Being on top usually gives you that.

Anyway, this is all that I can say.

[jacquesvol]

Just use some logic: a vagina CAN open up enough to let a baby pass through.

I know, of course, NO woman wants to go through childbirth every time she makes love but it gives you an indication of what's physically possible.

I'd rather suspect your boyfriend doesn't give you enough foreplay (you write that it hurts him too, thus your vagina may be too dry) or that you have vaginism, due to a fright, moral issues or a negative experience (maybe long ago and already out of your memory) : link .

The usual treatment is not to have penetrative sex until you feel you feel ready (and horny enough!) to really want it, then get gradually to it, bit by bit: penetrative fingering, first by yourself, then by him (three fingers = about the girth of a penis) and use lots of lube when you want to take the 'final step'. It may take a few months. Forcing it -even with lube- will make things worse and more difficult to cure.

In the meanwhile there's non penetrative sex: link

[Anonymous]

Masturbation helps to loosen up. Being extremely wet and or using lube should help as well. Masturbating more often will help though.

[Asker]

how does masturbation help?

[Opinion Owner]

It helps to loosen up the vagina a bit. I don't want to say it stretches you out because that sounds odd...but it does. It won't make you loose and flappy or anything but when you have sex you won't be so tight. I used to be really tight and my boyfriends pretty thick, it helped.

[Asker]

that's the thing, I don't wanna lose my tightness and like you said become "loose"... it's supposedly a good thing how tight I am!

[SkyPilot]

If I may be so bold...masturbation will help to produce lubrication and possibly to relax the muscles that constrict during insertion. another thing, tight is good, too tight is not only painful but can be dangerous, trust me even loose would be better (especially, less frustrating) than too tight

[MissConfused93]

Get him to loosen you up with his finger over the course of a week or so. It'll hurt but it's worth it.

[kheserthorpe]

How turned on are you before sex?

How big is he really?

At what point does it hurt?

Why is it hurting him?

[BluefireJon]

Have a serious conversation with him as to if he really loves you, he should consider having a penis reduction.

[Asker]

yea... no.

[BluefireJon]

Is he your first? You don't mention what you have tried that has not worked. Him taking his time, plenty lube, and you being really turned on before insertion would be the obvious suggestions.

[foolycooly1001]

lube

[smithz14]

Come on over?

[Asker]

;)

[Anonymous]

U probably don't get wet enough

[Anonymous]

Lots of foreplay, lots of lube and extreme restraint..go slow! it will stretch to accommodate