He says he can't handle me! Will it ever change?

[Anonymous]

So I started dating this guy about two months ago. And our sex life is great, he really has done his homework type of deal. He knows how to get me off orally for SURE. Everything is great until we actually start f.u.c.k.i.n.g, and then its like, I swear to god two minutes of the lamest sex ever until he cums explosively. Like I mean there's point when its great (I like it fast and hard and deep) but for the majority he's being a wiener about it, like he slows it down completely and makes short thrusts, and it totally does absolutely nothing for me. He says its because he can't handle me, and as soon as he starts thrusting hard and fast it makes him want to come right away. But its getting frustrating because I love having sex, but I don't want to have lame sex. But like I said when He's actually doing what I want its amazing. He says, give him a month and things with change (we've only been sleeping together for about three weeks) But what I want to know is will it actually change at some point? Like will he ever be able to make the sex last with me, and be able to do what I like without cumming right away? Or am I in a loosing situation?

[china-blue]

I had to laugh at l-hedoniste's 'new car smell' comment. That was priceless! But honestly, I think he's right. If things are good enough between you that you've been able to talk to him about this and he's asked you to give him a month for a 'test drive', give it to him. If things don't work out, you'll only be out a month of your time. Hopefully, it may just be the best month that you've every invested, one that will end in a long term relationship that will have been built on good communication and honesty. You say that you had known each other for 6 years and he may have had a thing for you. If he did, this poor guy probably has 6 years of fantasies built up about you that he needs to work through. I knew my husband for about that long before we finally got together and it was much the same for us. You can keep the new car smell from passing too. After nearly 30 years, there are still times that I'm more than he can handle and he has to really work at his self control ! I'm damn glad I gave him a test drive. *smile* Best of luck to you both.

[Asker]

Aww thanks :) Very well put, and I agree, he's definitely worth a shot

[Anonymous]

he'll probably be able to last longer over time. Are these his first times having sex? He'll gain more control as time goes on. Maybe you guys can try a new position that gives you a lot more pleasure and him somewhat less. You could try being on top and controlling the pace. Just some ideas..hope it helped...

[Asker]

No he's 23 I'm 22 we've both have had plenty of sex with other long term partners. But that's a really good idea to try something that's he's not so into but I am...girl on top wouldn't work because that's his favorite lol, but I get your point, thanks hun :)

[TwiztedTD]

Actually I had some issues when I started dating my girl. She was a bit of a high school crush, I always thought she was beautiful when I saw her in the hallways. After college we ran into each other started dating... yadda yadda.

When we first started having sex I couldn't last long at all. I was too attracted to her. After a while things got better.

Im not a guy who goes for hours, but I can last a while now.

[Asker]

Thats kind of what he figured, we've known each other for about 6ish years, but I moved away for four years and just came home in October and, I guess he's always had a thing for me, and plus, weve only been sleeping together for three weeks so its still new and exciting I guess, good point though thanks :)

[thompson75]

I like how TwiztedTD didn't offer advice, but bragged about how good he is. LOL!

I had the same problem. Perfect remedy, if he's using a condom... Mandelay. Its a desensitizer, it allowed me to go on for HOURS. There are also 'Extended Pleasure' condoms, which have the same active ingredient...that works too.

If you're not using condoms... you'll have to wait... maybe get him drunk or something.

Cheers!

[TwiztedTD]

Sorry, I wasn't bragging. The point I was trying to get across is that it will change. She asked - Will it change at some point, and I answered that for her. I wasn't bragging. There really isn't anything I can say that will change the way the guy reacts.

[Asker]

You are a GENIUS! thanks! I would have never thought of that! im going to pick some up after work today hahaha

[thompson75]

No worries. In return, you can call out "Thompson75!!" when he's waxin' dattass. LOL!

[Asker]

LMAO! yea I'm sure he would LOVE that

[l-hedoniste]

You'll be fine. You still have that new-car smell to him, and it's driving him wild. It'll pass.

[Asker]

Haha thanks :) but I don't want it to pass too too much lol I still want to drive him wild but have him be able to control it

[l-hedoniste]

Patience, and time. Good luck and have fun.

[hunglowman4you]

he must have a thin short one... those seem to come in a few minutes... thick veiny long ones don't... wow...

[Asker]

No he's actually rather big, it has nothing to do with that

[hunglowman4you]

C it depends what you say is big..

[Asker]

Trust me I know what's big, I've had various sizes and he would be number 2 on my list

[hunglowman4you]

"schwing".... ok then... you go girl....lol.... hey why not tell him to buy the extra strength teeth meds for numbing up teeth and gums etc... tell him to rub that all over it... wait 5 mins and then start humping him like a jack rabbit... that should make him last longer, 4-sure!

[Asker]

Haha ok, rad, thanks

[TwiztedTD]

Okay here is one thing you can try, try getting him off 10 - 15 minutes before you have sex. I found that would make me last longer.

[Asker]

Good idea, thanks