Why do people cheat? I don't understand.

[Anonymous]

The Story: I was in a relationship with a guy for two years. We were moving in together, he said he loved me and wanted to marry me, talked about kids, the whole deal. He was always jealous of other men around me and was interested in me sexually so I never had reason to doubt my attractiveness or think he was seeking attention elsewhere. After we broke up (he claimed we were getting too "dependent upon each other"), I found out he was trying to cheat on me (as in full sex with another woman). I recently found out that he actually cheated on me (by receiving head) with at least two people. I never cheated on him, never wanted to, and never thought too. The Question: So why do people cheat? If you have done it what are your reasons? If you claim to love someone why would you look elsewhere? Basically, I'm just confused. I've never had the urge to cheat on someone I'm dating.

[jeremy20]

Wow...based on the last comment you made in your question, you are my dream woman.

I've had experience with this...my girlfriend of 8 years (engaged for 3) cheated...I broke up with her for emotional cheating, but later found out she started cheating sexually with 2 others around the time of my brithday, graduation, and our anniversary. Its probably the worst pain I've ever felt, so you're not alone.

I'm not sure why they do it, but the fact of the matter is that cheating is a concious decision that is made. When you cheat, you know what you're doing, and if you don't (such as being drunk), you knew what you were doing when you put yourself in that position. Point being, its a concious decision that hurts the one you supposedly love. I honestly can't see how you can cheat on someone you love.

I think its a despicable act and its a form of a game. I think once someone cheats, the relationship is broken and they should not be taken back. I didn't take my ex back, and she begged for months. One a cheater, always a cheater.

Personally, I think every cheater should at one point in time feel the pain of being cheated on. That's most likely the only way they'd wake up and realize what theyre doing is shameful and wrong.

But then again, I'm really harsh on people who cheat.

[Anonymous]

First off guys (generally) see sex differently from women. it's just a pleasurable act to some guys where as most women see it as an intimate connection. So when it comes to guys cheating they do it because they have the opportunity to do it and think they won't get caught or they're getting some sort of joy that they can't get with you that they desire so badly that they allow it to happen. That's not to say all guys are like this but really what it comes down to is the guy having an opportunity and a reason that they've convinced themselves of.

In your exs case though, he was probably just a straight up jerk.

[peace-love-couture]

Why do people cheat?

-They're hoping to get caught so the person will break up with them

-They aren't emotionally fulfilled anymore. Girls and guys like to feel appreciated, receive compliments and have their self-esteems and egos fed. It's not a guy thing, it's not a girl thing, it's a human thing. Also, they want a partner who is supportive and encouraging and doesn't put them down or nag them

-They aren't being sexually fulfilled. Whether people want to admit it or not, sex IS important in a relationship and compatibility is too. If 2 people have completely different sex drives, someone may begin to seek fulfillment outside of the relationship. Who wants to have sex with a partner knowing the partner isn't as into it as they are?

-Boredom and excitement, which may go back to not being sexually fulfilled.

-In your case, perhaps he felt that y'all were moving too fast and wanted to explore. I only say that because your profile says "18-24" really, that is young in today's world. Men and women are waiting later to settle down and have children. Maybe he wanted to see what his options are?

[beautiulgirl347]

Because the are selfesh they want more then they got

have you herad of the 80 20 rule

well the guy has a girl who is about 80 % perfect so he gets tierd and sees a nother girl whos a 20 % nothing but a girl who wants sex and he leaves the 80 % for the 20% and regrets it in the end because he left a awsome girl for a slut or a

[cuteandsmart]

Selfish. I agree. I never heard the 80/20 rule before.

[beautiulgirl347]

well now you have heehhe

[Betwyn]

hmm... I had an ex do that.. but when he was with me.. he couldn't bring himself to do much unless he'd been drinking.. cold sober, I'd have do ALL the work...

[beautiulgirl347]

hmmmmm I would have slapped him

[Prof_Don]

Imo, most people cheat because they are in the relationship, and are losing interest in the relationship (and simultaneously gaining interest in someone else)...

...

...and don't want to break up with the person due to the fear of being single (as in not having that intimiate companionship with someone)...

...

...so the person pursues the other person and confides in them (emotional cheating), and may escalate to hand-holding and intimiate/sexual action (physical cheating).

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It takes a MATURE person to break up with someone before seeing someone new.

Ppl that cheat are IMMATURE because they only think about themselves, rather than placing themselves in the mind of their partner.

[dzj031682195]

he love you and just want to have sex with others

[Anonymous]

If I loved you and you loved me; we were stable and were sexually and emotionally compatible,; I would never cheat on you.

[Anonymous]

He probably felt empty inside and had low self esteem so he tried to fill that gap up through sex. People cheat when they feel they're at a low point in a relationship and don't know how to get out so they try new things in secret. I'm no saint so I'm guilty of things I said in my answer.

[Kazzza]

So they lose love?