Sexual Health
+1 y

Why do guys want anal sex?

My boy friend is literally begging me for anal, I personal have never tried it and I really don't want to.. But he told me that he's pretty much going to do "surprise butt sex" and I really really really do not want to have anal. I don't know what to do, he really wants to try it.. And I have absolutely no desire to try it. Why do guys want it so bad? And girls, have you ever tried it? And if you did, did it hurt?. Did you enjoy it?
Updates:
+1 y
So I talked to him about it today and used some of the advice you guys gave, well this is how it went.. Him-"wanna be f***ed in the ass?<3" me-"-_- no..." Him-"lol I'm still gonna do it" Me"no..you won't.." Him-"lol I will" Me-"that's like rape Hahahahaha" Him-"lmao no it's not -.-" Me-"hahaha if I don't agree to it it is:p" Him-"but you'll be loving it too" Me-"how do you know that..?" Him-"lol cause we kinky;)" Me-"lmao whatever.."
+1 y
He tried it -_- .. I stopped him though! I Literaly got up off the bed and walked out of the room because right before we had sex I told him " NO anal"... So yeah he was pissed.. Like I told him during an argument "I'm not having sex again if you do that.." he won't talk to me -_- lol whatever he's a d***..
0 2

Most Helpful Guys

  • "Surprise buttsex" = RAPE. Make that clear to him. That is prison sentence worthy. If he ever threatens you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, you have to let him know to stop or just walk away to a safe environment. If he doesn't stop then kick his ass to the curb and call the police.

    In terms of should you let him:

    -I know a woman that enjoys anal. The walls of the colon and vagina share a side which stimulates those nerves. Some people like the feeling of having their a**hole stretched, others like the 'full' feeling. Before letting him in, I would suggest using lots of lube and very short nails to explore yourself and see if you like it.

    -Ask him if he is okay with you using a dildo on him. Many heterosexual/bisexual/homosexual males enjoy the pleasures of anal/prostate stimulation.

    -When properly prepared, anal sex can be very clean. Spontaneous anal can be messy. There are numerous guides online on how to best prepare and what to do.

    -Since you said he is aggressive, you might not want him for anal sex as it needs to be taken very slowly and carefully with all the cues coming from you. That takes a good deal of trust in his ability to restrain himself.

    Good luck, and if you let him in your ass, remember: USE MORE LUBE.

    • Yeah, I don't trust him anywhere near my @ss... But I'm afraid to tell him that it's pretty much rape because he can have a temper sometimes..not always.. But I don't want to set something like that off from telling him that He is pretty much raping me, I've tried and tried to tell him NO but it seems like he doesn't understand what that word means lol

    • super answer here! He seems like a bit of a jerk so do not be afraid to toss the RAPE word at hIm and if he gets ticked off so be it! Good ridden's and good bye might the the best thing with a guy who is so insensative to your requests.

    • Get away from this guy if you can't talk about what you don't want and have him listen and comply. The women I've been with learn to love anal sex. It's very satisfying on a lot of levels but it has to be done very carefully the first time. Best to spoon up with you controlling the penetration, if you decide to try it. Most importantly, if he does force himself on you, go to the authorities.

    • Show All

  • Some of the answers already given are accurate, so I'll try and stick to what hasn't already been said.

    There's a dominant/ submissive aspect to anal sex that often gets overlooked. Because is still considered taboo or forbidden, it makes the act much more submissive, almost the ultimate submission. There's also a potential sadistic/masochistic aspect to it, but that's not my thing so I can't go into much detail in that regard.

    It's obvious that neither one of those is your thing, and your boyfriend needs to figure that out pretty sharpish.

    Apart from that, some people just like their sex as filthy as possible.

    Guys also like the idea of turning a nice innocent girl into a depraved little horndog. It's an ego thing, playing out the fantasy that we're the greatest lover since Casanova, able to seduce any girl we like into doing whatever we want.

    On a personal note, I did convince my last girl to try it (carefully, and it was actually her idea and not because I pestered her into it), and it gave her "the best orgasm of her life". She was already a little horndog, though, and enjoyed watching the filthiest of p*rn with me so she didn't require much persuasion.

    • I sometimes like being submissive and letting him do it anally. But he's always slow and gentlleLike the thought and feeing of him standing or leaning over me hands on my hips pushing him self in and out .but he's got to go slow.my boy friend is big.

    • Thank you for this anwser. And I still can not wrap my head around this being pleasurable for me in any which way..

Most Helpful Girls

  • *he told me that he's pretty much going to do "surprise buttsex"*

    Surprise butt sex? Can we just call it for what it is? Rape? Your boyfriend told you that he wants to rape you, keeps insisting on a sex act that he knows you are not willing to do. You really need to break up with him ASAP.

    You ask in a comment, why would he want to hurt and manipulate you? Can you recognize his behavior thus far is not right, and that of someone who would have no qualms about hurting and manipulating you? the writing's on the wall...

    I'm disturbed by this.

    • Yeah I will admit that he can be a little aggressive sometimes, but I'm pretty sure he was just joking about it. And I don't want to break up with him because of something that hasn't even happened yet or my verywell never happen.

    • He already shows aggressive behavior and who jokes about rape? You should really take this seriously because the signs are all there. Its not normal

    • Well I honestly don't know what to do, I really like him and I can not picture him ever raping me.. Yeah he wants it really bad because he's a total horndog. But it's like my refusal to do this just keeps going over his head.. How else can I tell him NO that he will actually stop to think "oh, maybe she really doesn't want this and I should respect that" because everything I've tried doesn't seem to work..

    • Show All

  • Well there is an attraction to the tightness of it I think, but if you're uncomfortable with it don't do it. It most likely will hurt or at least be uncomfortable. I've heard some women like it but its up to you if you want to try it or not. That would be SO disrespectful of him to try and "surprise" you ESPECIALLY if you've voiced that you aren't interested in doing it. I wouldn't trust him after that and he'd be lucky to get it in at all.

    • I'd probably slap him if he did..

    • Ask to use a toy on him first and then see if he's still interested hahahaha.

    • Only slap him? And if he's willing to take that minor inconvenience?

    • Show All

  • have you noticed in p*rn that after a while of vaginal sex the guy usually switches to anal, its because he gets more friction and stimulation because her butt hole is tighter than her vagina. Maybe your vag isn't enough for him anymore, are you a little loose down there maybe?

    • Porn isn't real life, and p*rn sex is mostly scripted. And while anal almost always a bit tighter, that doesn't mean her vagina is loose. It means that the two holes are constructed differently, which is true of every girl.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

Girls, do you have sex drive?
I just want to get fucked! How to get a guy to approach you/notice you at a party?
Are you mentally ill or mentally healthy, and is it difficult or easy for you to orgasm during masturbation?
If a guy told you he could cum farther than he can pee, what would be your reaction?

What Girls & Guys Said

5 17

  • First off, your guy is, at best, a selfish jerk for even SUGGESTING that he'd try anal sex against your wishes ON PURPOSE! That *IS* rape. Yes, sometimes a guy might slip out accidentially and if they both move the right (wrong?) way, it can end up going in her ass unintentionally, and that's a legit accident. But he's thinking of doing it INTENTIONALLY, and that's every kind of wrong.

    It's your body, and you get to decide if you want to do it or not, and it's perfectly okay if you never, ever want to.

    But, since you asked, I will share a bit. Most of the girls I've been with have eventually asked ME for anal. Most people are at least curious about it, but anal sex, at least in the beginning, requires some planning, and a very gentle touch. You need some lube (real sex lube, not whatever you find in the kitchen), and you have to go slow to start. And most important, the girl has to be able to trust her partner, not only to go slow and gentle, but to stop if she says stop, and to pull out if she says pull out. One of the main reasons the girls I've been with wanted to try it is because they could TRUST me.

    Your Boyfriend is obviously NOT trustworthy; he's FAR too selfish for you to be letting him do that with you, at least IMO.

    As I said, most of the girls I've been with asked ME for it, and most of them continued to ask for it after having tried it, because after a period of adjustment, they found it to be pleasurable for them. It's not something we did every time by any means, but it was definitely something that was a routine part of sex. They wouldn't have kept doing it if they weren't getting pleasure from it, right? Now, a couple of them tried it, didn't really like it, and didn't ask for it again, and that's okay too. It isn't for everyone. But if you're open-minded and have a GOOD partner who you can trust, you might find you really like it.

    • This guy... ^ ;D

  • This guys sounds like a complete douche. Why are you still with him?

    • i don't really know anymore.

  • Not all guys do. I've never really had much desire to do it. I want to try it once just to say that I have, but its not something I love to do. I just don't get off on the idea of my girl being in pain especially when I have a perfect hole that was made just for my penis right there next to her anus.

    That being said, I would suggest comprimizing. It may not be your think but go ahead and give it a try just for fun and to please your boyfriend. Just give him your stipulations. Tell that you only do it once and any other things he must do if he wants it to happen, like what positions you guys get to used.

    • "compromising" key word in a healthy relationship

    • Yep but women don't know what that word means. They're females so they're entitled to special treatment and everything they want...

  • Because it is,something done in p*rn, because he has heard of it.

    Don't do it if you don't want it... hurts, no matter how much lube. Did it once with my girlfriend, because she wondered. We both disliked It, it was done to me once, hurt like hell.

    It is you body, nothing should ever be done without agreement. It isn't worth it.

    • Yeah I can't imagine it not hurting.. And do you have any suggestions of how I can tell him NO and have him accept that? Because apparently what I've been doing hasn't been working.

    • Well, you could tell him you would slice his d*ck up lol...Seriously, tell him it is a deal breaker, that he will be history. My girlfriend and I did it because we had heard, she wondered. But we agreed, if he won't listen to something like this, he isn't worth it. As one woman put it, he wants to rape you, so tell him that, if he is not listening still, then dump him. Sorry to be so blunt, but he seems dense...

    • Wait should I tell him that he's pretty much trying to rape me? Because sometimes he can have a temper..not always.. But I don't want to set that off by saying something like that.

    • Show All

  • Simple answer: because "surprise buttsex" turns these men on

    im not one of these men, I know where the vagina is and I do not make the mistake to find the right hole :p

    • Haha why does it turn them on though?!

    • Ive got no idea I'm a guy and it turns me off just thinking about it I suppose its because its better then a vagina for them? Maybe theyre bisexual, perhaps they like a girls ass I just have no idea.. Then again these men probably wonder why I get turned on by a girls sounds she makes during sex but well that's my problem not theirs :/

    • Well a lot of men get turned on by that, that's normal compared to liking anal lol

    • Show All

  • Tell him point blank that he try anything like that he can get lost! Tell him to go buy a dildo and stick it up his ass and see how much he cares for it.

  • oh please, just shut up, go on your knees and put your butt up already.

    you're ruining the whole situation.

  • I find anal intercourse repugnant. I would not do it for the most gorgeous girl you can name.

  • Porn has warped so many minds it's hilarious..

    I haven't done it but I know the idea of anal doesn't match up to the reality of it.

    I like the vagina way to much anyway to stray off course, it's my happy place.

  • And supprise butt sex is not rape ( anyway not totally )well the first time my girlfriend was pissed off and didn't talk to me that night because it hurt and because she had told me not to do it . the second time I was in her butt without knowing and her eyes were wide open and went I ask her were I was she said her butt and told me to keep on and deliver. So what I know is no anal sex went a girl is stressed and went she doesn't trust you fully.

    • Newsflash fom civilisation! ! : "Surprise butt sex" IS RAPE ! Remember, she had told you to do it. If a girl says 'NO' it's RAPE, even if you get a pardon afterward or if she doesn't resist.

    • Super newsflash big bro : a relationship is more complicated than you think . maybe everything was white and black in your time but its no more . then why hasn't she dumped him ?

    • Nothing complicated: if the girl says she doesn't want it, and the guy does it, then it's RAPE, as simple as that. It has been that way since we got civilization. ". Most developing countries outlawed marital rape in the 1990s and 2000s." "Current state laws, however, often treat rape by ex-spouses or intimate partners as different than marital rape, and therefore, legally equivalent to rape by a stranger"

      link

    • Show All

  • Anal sex isn't healthy for different reasons:

    -Bacterium's living an being absolutely necessary in the intestines can cause havoc elsewhere in the body (vagina, mouth, stomach)

    -There's a risk of rectal prolapse link for both girls and bottom guys.

    -For a bottom guy, if his prostate is hit at a moment he as an even tiny infection there, the infection COULD spread over the whole body , causing sepsis (bacterial or viral blood poisoning link Prognosis can be estimated with the Mortality in Emergency Department Sepsis (MEDS) score.[28] Approximately 20–35% of patients with severe sepsis and 40–60% of patients with septic shock die within 30 days. Others die within the ensuing 6 months)

    Moreover the guy doing it can get a nasty prostate infection from the feces his d**k meets in the anus.

    Morality hasn't anything to do with it, it's just risky behavior.

    • Solution: wear a condom

    • A condom won't stop rectal prolapse. If the bottom is a guy it won't stop an already infected prostate from sreading the infection in the whole body.

  • I suppose (I'm not even interested to do it):

    -The 'forbidden fruit'

    -Some gay feelings deep down in the closet

    -It hurts and humiliates the girl

    -Penis numbed by too much masturbation, thus wanting more friction

    • I'm pretty sure he's not gay.. And why would he want to hurt or humiliate me..?

    • -He might not be that sure himself about it (deep down! Some unsecurities thus) -Just to be the boss, to have power

    • @spirit156 "Surprise butt sex" is rape. Indeed, some nutcases get turned on by rape. Rape is much more about power and humiliating than about sex.

  • I don't like anal. Vagina is right place for penis.

  • Haha I liked your boyfriend! He's a real man!

    Just shut up and get your ass ready next time, he warned you and he did it! Great job by his part!

    Even if it hurts, it's your job to satisfy him. He should do it again until you learn how to behave...

  • Well, there's lots of reasons a guy would like anal with a girl, but that seems irrelevant to the situation with your dude here.

  • i really enjoy anal sex. To be straight with true the first time isn't nice neither the second one but little but little you get used to the feeling and before you notice you are loving it. As many other said you must be sure this is what YOU want because if you are not relax it going to be worst, have a lub near and all is going to be fine.

    remember to usea condom and change it if you are going to try vaginal sex ater

  • I have tried and and I'm curious...it is something that should be worked up to though...one finger...two...then so on...if not it can HURT! Its made me cry before...but if you don't want to say no and kick him in the face if he tries.

    • If he tries with out me wanting to I'll get pissed.. You don't just do that.. I have a high tolerance to pain but like why would something that hurts like hell ever be enjoyable.. I don't know I guess I'm just scared to try it.. And I hope I never really have to

  • Tightness, taboo, dominance, novelty.

  • they usually just want to try something new, if theyve been with the same girl for a while it can get boring. Try to spice things up with new positions, toys, location...Dont bother with anal, It seems painful and not really worth the trouble. Most guys also like it because its tight, do some kegels if youve 'loosened' up over the years, the thought of being inside of a tight new hole probably excites him

  • I enjoy anal sex not because of any sort of enhanced feeling I get from it, but simply from the fact that it is what it is. There's something a little more taboo and... I don't know... "naughty" about it.

    But honestly, it doesn't "feel" much different. It's definitely more of a mental thing.

    My girlfriend enjoys anal occasionally, and asks for it when she's in the mood. We've only had one "bad" experience with it, most recently (she was a little sore for the next couple of days). I was a little too rough on her and we didn't use any sort of lube other than her vaginal juices and spit (which is how we've always done it, but it wasn't really enough this time, for whatever reason). Next time, I'll use some proper lube just to be safe.

    I do know this. The only reason that my girlfriend wanted to try anal sex with me in the first place was that she trusted me and felt that I'd be gentle about it and take cues from her. She'd tried it once before, years before we met, with another boyfriend just because "he wanted to" and it was a horrible experience for her. Anal needs to be treated completely differently from regular sex to be pleasurable, you need a different mindset while doing it.

  • Show More (2)

Latest Questions

Is it socially unacceptable to ask what a guys penis size is?
Do men like pink vaginas?
Weird comment from boyfriend?
Why is being a virgin woman a CRIME?
Home >  Sexual Health  > Why do guys want anal sex?