How can I tell if a guy is turned on....or is just trying to make me feel good?

[Anonymous]

I ask, because we have not had sex...mostly I think because I'm a virgin...we were making out on his bed...and after I asked if he wants more...and he said that was all he needed...and that he just wanted to lay there forever like that...said he felt comfortable being around me... When we were making ou on his bed...I noticed when I sucked or bit on his lip...he started to breath a bit heavier and changed positions...and he lifted my skirt up and was feeling my butt the whole time (I had tights on) Whenever we are out sitting down he's touching me...like running his hands up and down my arm...kissing my hand...or my back...holding my hand, etc... And we cuddle...like on his bed...when we spoon...he gets as close to me as possible and I notice his breathing gets heavier... I'm trying to see I any of this sounds pleasurable from a guys perspective...I don't sit there like a limp doll...I reciprocate... Thanks!

[Anonymous]

is he your boyfriend? if he is and you trust him I would say he is a really nice guy and he is going slow with you, definitely very aroused. guys can get very aroused without sex, the guy I last dated would pull me in tight and moan/groan while we were making out and start kissing me harder. we had very good sexual chemistry and it felt amazing to kiss him.

but, if he is just a FWB or guy you are dating but have not committed to each other, he could be getting sex on the side and that is why he is able to be so calm with you.

[Asker]

Yes...he is my first boyfriend...he's the first guy I've ever kissed an even held hands with...and he knows all of that...he's the first person I've ever physically opened up to in my entire life...being affectionate isn't something I grew up with...I can't even hug my parents...so this is all a bit overwhelming...but it's a good feeling... Yeah...when I start kissing him he pulls me a lot tighter too and rubs me more...he says he likes the way I kiss...I just hope he isn't just being nice

[Opinion Owner]

he could still be a virgin.

[Anonymous]

he probably doesn't want to make you uncomfortable by rushing things. he's definitely turned on & I don't think he is just saying stuff to be nice...he truly means it

[Pinklipspark]

Oh, I thought all of that was happening to you. I was thinking "Lucky Girl!

[Asker]

It is...that's all the stuff he does to me...I guess I phrased the question in general terms...

[Pinklipspark]

Oh my god! OK I'm jelly babe!

[toleranger]

The heavy breathing comes from the increased hearbeat due to rapid blood pumping. And that is triggered by heavy sexual desire and excitement. Even a woman's scent can trigger the whole thing, let alone the rest. All you need is to check out if he is hard and you'll see how much he's turned on.

[Asker]

Ok...well he does always comment on how he likes my scent... Is there any way of knowing if he is hard besides feeling him up?

[toleranger]

Nope. Another thing is, if he's already hard, he very well might be afraid of acting like a pervert or sexually driven madman. No man wants to hurt their close related friends, not even emotionally. At least the smart ones.

[Asker]

Ok...I suppose...but he is my boyfriend...so I don't see why he'd be afraid of acting on it...

[Anonymous]

Next time just let your hand casually brush against his crotch and see if you feel anything growing down there.

[Asker]

Ok...I'll try...but I'll make sure one of his parents are home when I do that...because I'm not ready for more yet...

[Opinion Owner]

You realize there's a lot you can do that doesn't involve penis-in-vagina sex, right? Just play with him! Rub him till he explodes and he'll be happy as a clam!

[Asker]

So...can I rub him over his pants? Would that have te same effect? And if I start doing that now...won't he want more soon? I'm sorry if I sound like an idiot..I just really have no idea..And don't want to mess up...

[Opinion Owner]

My advice is to just start above his pants and when you feel his getting really hard, unzip him and stroke him bare. Just relax and explore his body and play with him till he shoots, then just relax and cuddle up with him. You can do that for awhile.

[Opinion Owner]

@ your comment: my previous advice still stands and doesn't seem to conflict. It'll turn a lot of things white though, so watch where you aim! ;-)

[Asker]

Ok...thanks...a coupl of other questions... 1) should I use lotion or some sort of lube on it? 2) what happens to the cum? Will it make a huge mess? I just let it go or should I use tissue to catch it?

[Opinion Owner]

To answer your second question first, I'd say if you just aim his penis away from anything important you can just let him go off. It's pretty easy to clean up afterward. But just don't worry about it until after he's had at least a couple of minutes to come down from the high you'll put him on. In the meantime, just enjoy the relaxing and bonding. In terms of lube, you're probably fine with just spit. Also, as he gets excited, his precum will lubricate his head. Spread it around and stroke!

[Asker]

Ok...good advice...thx...although I probably won't do that too soon...it's good to know what to expect...thanks : )

[Opinion Owner]

How old are both of you?

[Asker]

We are in our mid-twenties...I'm actually a bit older than him...but I can't tell the difference... I do know that he has been in a few relationships before...and was actually engaged at one point...but he broke it off because the girl cheated on him... By taking things slow...I don't know if he is really just being respectful...or if he actually is a virgin...

[Opinion Owner]

I'd say take it slow with the sex, but don't be afraid to move it forward with the touching. Physical contact will really help deepen your bonding.

[Asker]

Ok...I will...if I see the time is right...we are mostly always holding each other when we sit or lay down together...and that has really deepen things...before we were officially bf/GF...and just dating (although I've known him for a year in school)...he only hugged me...but as soon as we got that "title" he started being physical...

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah. That sounds like my first relationship. It's a great thing when you can release some of that tension together. ;-)

[Belgie]

If he's hard, he's turned on.

[Asker]

I've never felt if he was hard or not...that's the only way to know?!

[Anonymous]

have you and him lost your virginities yet?

[Asker]

I have not...I'm not sure if he is really a virgin or if he was joking with me.

[Opinion Owner]

oh, how come you and him have not had sex yet?

[Anonymous]

if his penis is hard, is erect, then he is definetley sexually turned on