Being sober when hooking up?

so I know a lot of girls who don't like to have sex when there sober and I find it really odd and sad.

They need to be either drunk or high but not sober and this is just really strange to me. do any of you ladies feel the same way?

why do they not like to have sex sober? are they just not into the people they f*** and need to be in a different mindset? or is it that there just that nervous about it?

to the people who can't read well I never said getting drunk and having sex is a bad thing I'm just asking a question for starters.

getting drunk and having sex is something everyone has or will do. what I'm wondering is why some of the girls I know only have sex while being drunk or high. from what I can tell they will not have sex sober and I am just curious about it.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ive only done it sober, and I've only had sex twice, with someone I love. The only way I will sleep with someone is if it is out of love not for fun. Clearly the girls you know are just stupid and insecure. Hooking up isn't even safe, I guess I'm the only person that fears STD's and HIV and AIDS that's just me.

    • i can assure you we fear that stuff too . the damages are irreversible no matter what medical development it at hand . that dude HIV is viscous

    • i have not done it nor will I do it.. so your wrong

    • Okay, then guys should not just sleep around like SOME of them do, its their choice... my choice is to stay clean unless I love someone which is very few and far between for me

What Girls Said 12

  • It seems like a lot of girls numb themselves in order to do it, a lot of my friends don't even remember it but they keep doing it because they are young and that's seen as fun and lots of men call them and I guess they like the attention in the moment. Plus they start feeling bad about the last hookup and start to drink which leads to the next one...

    • thats like exactly what I see these same girls do all the time. I kind of feel bad for them and have just tried to talk about it before but they got really defensive.

    • Yeah, my friends do it they complain a lot and I've been a shoulder to cry on but a lot of times I get abuse from them because of my V-card but seeing them makes me grip my card that much harder lol

  • Personally, I'm with you, that sounds strange and sad. Even though I'm a girl, my guesses are as good as any guy's. I would've guessed the same thing, though, in addition to maybe they don't want to remember it or have it not seem real. Easier to downplay? If they've done it multiple times and have a "rule" I couldn't believe it's nerves.

  • I'm 31 and I rarely have sex sober. It's awful. It has nothing to do with the guy or how much I'm into him. It has to do with anxiety. I have an anxiety disorder/social anxiety and what have you. It has little to do with how long I've been dating someone or how comfortable I feel with them... being super comfortable with them only helps a little. Having sober sex for me is awkward and strange and not sexy and I don't enjoy it. You have to relax to be able to enjoy sex and when you can't relax, you aren't going to enjoy it. I envy anyone who can have sober sex and be relaxed enough to enjoy themselves :/

  • I've only had sex sober. The reason why some girls are like this is because they have low self esteem.

  • I don't like having sex when I'm drunk at ALL. I like being sober so that I can remember all the details (lol) and also so that I know what I'm doing, and not regret anything

  • Women are not like guys,they can't just be skin to skin with someone and move on in a sober mind.For a girl to have sex she must feel something first so when they are just hooking up something has to work in them to make them want to unlike guys who want to have sex first inorder to feel something.

  • I really prefer sober sex, because you can really appreciate all of it as it's happening. Drunk sex is fun once in a while, but I really enjoy sex and would prefer to enjoy it every time!

  • I get more kinky and willing to try new things when I'm drunk. However, being buzzed and having sex are both of my decisions beforehand/ while being sober. I've already decided that I want sex and booze is there to exemplify my desire.

    But then again, I'm not in a relationship. I'm just having fling with this guy. So if I'm in a relationship, I would not mind f***ing sober for sure.

    • guess that's the big difference here being with one person or just being single

  • Probably because sex when drunk or high is funner and you're more likely to try new things. Now that I think about it, I've only had sex sober twice. I don't do it intentionally, but for some reason I always want to hook up when I'm drunk.

    • i just think you have inhibition issues . well its deeper than that but hey I don't judge :-)

  • my sex life is great but sex is even better when I'm drunk because I'm more uninhibited and kinky, I'm able to cut loose more than I normally would. And it also might be that we want an excuse for being freaky and nasty because were worried about what our guy might think if we did these things sober; he might want it all the time then or he might think were nastier than we normally wanna be

    • well OK I can understand that. but I guess I just thought it was strange that a lot of these girls won't have sex unless there drunk. like there afraid to be themselves in the bedroom.

      I do know what you mean tho. you get a bit more adventurist when you have a drink and get loosened up and have fun. but every time you have sex? that's what these girls do

    • if their doing it every time they have sex its probably because they don't really want to do it so they have to hype themselves up for it. They could also be nervous, insecure and shy so much so that if they were sober, sex would be awkward and embarrassing for them, when you drink you just don't care, shyness goes away quick. Of course this likely isn't the case if their having casual sex, those aren't shy types, they just simply don't love themselves

    • i gave you a plus but let me tell you something been drunk does created a new you :-D it unleashes the REAL YOU. so if you give that as an excuse that you were freaky because you were drunk . if you were with me I will know you're a liar. when you do crazy thing when your drunked . so lookat him in eye tell I am nastier than I wanna be . ALL girls are :-D we guys are no better you know that

  • I am the complete opposite and I think I am alone on this one. I don't like drunk sex, I can't come and pretty numb when I drink. So there is no point in getting drunk and having sex, the plumbing just doesn't work.

    It could be either of the ones you mentioned, it could also be they don't like sex at all but feel more brazen when wasted and think it will make it feel better or they do like sex but sober are afraid of getting a bad rep and are throwing caution.


What Guys Said 3

  • no love, just lust. I say they do it because people like you.

    • people like me? what do you mean?

  • I'm a virgin

  • I am always drunk when hooking up

    • how come?

    • I love sex and I love booze