Being sober when hooking up?

so I know a lot of girls who don't like to have sex when there sober and I find it really odd and sad.

They need to be either drunk or high but not sober and this is just really strange to me. do any of you ladies feel the same way?

why do they not like to have sex sober? are they just not into the people they f*** and need to be in a different mindset? or is it that there just that nervous about it?

Updates:
to the people who can't read well I never said getting drunk and having sex is a bad thing I'm just asking a question for starters.

getting drunk and having sex is something everyone has or will do. what I'm wondering is why some of the girls I know only have sex while being drunk or high. from what I can tell they will not have sex sober and I am just curious about it.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ive only done it sober, and I've only had sex twice, with someone I love. The only way I will sleep with someone is if it is out of love not for fun. Clearly the girls you know are just stupid and insecure. Hooking up isn't even safe, I guess I'm the only person that fears STD's and HIV and AIDS that's just me.

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    • i can assure you we fear that stuff too . the damages are irreversible no matter what medical development it at hand . that dude HIV is viscous

    • i have not done it nor will I do it.. so your wrong

    • Okay, then guys should not just sleep around like SOME of them do, its their choice... my choice is to stay clean unless I love someone which is very few and far between for me

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What Girls Said 12

  • It seems like a lot of girls numb themselves in order to do it, a lot of my friends don't even remember it but they keep doing it because they are young and that's seen as fun and lots of men call them and I guess they like the attention in the moment. Plus they start feeling bad about the last hookup and start to drink which leads to the next one...

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    • thats like exactly what I see these same girls do all the time. I kind of feel bad for them and have just tried to talk about it before but they got really defensive.

    • Yeah, my friends do it they complain a lot and I've been a shoulder to cry on but a lot of times I get abuse from them because of my V-card but seeing them makes me grip my card that much harder lol

  • Personally, I'm with you, that sounds strange and sad. Even though I'm a girl, my guesses are as good as any guy's. I would've guessed the same thing, though, in addition to maybe they don't want to remember it or have it not seem real. Easier to downplay? If they've done it multiple times and have a "rule" I couldn't believe it's nerves.

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  • I'm 31 and I rarely have sex sober. It's awful. It has nothing to do with the guy or how much I'm into him. It has to do with anxiety. I have an anxiety disorder/social anxiety and what have you. It has little to do with how long I've been dating someone or how comfortable I feel with them... being super comfortable with them only helps a little. Having sober sex for me is awkward and strange and not sexy and I don't enjoy it. You have to relax to be able to enjoy sex and when you can't relax, you aren't going to enjoy it. I envy anyone who can have sober sex and be relaxed enough to enjoy themselves :/

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  • I've only had sex sober. The reason why some girls are like this is because they have low self esteem.

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  • I don't like having sex when I'm drunk at ALL. I like being sober so that I can remember all the details (lol) and also so that I know what I'm doing, and not regret anything

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What Guys Said 3

  • no love, just lust. I say they do it because people like you.

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    • people like me? what do you mean?

  • I'm a virgin

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  • I am always drunk when hooking up

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    • how come?

    • I love sex and I love booze

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