Sexual Health
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Girlfriend is very strongly opinionated and believes people are born gay.

Well, I don't know how to describe it. My nephew is raised by my single sister, and he watches the little mermaid, plays with barbies and often says he wants to be a girl/princess. Now, my sister always encourages this and gave him what he wanted, and now it seems my nephew is going to be gay. I don't have a problem with gay people at all, but I understand that the environment you are in as a child while you are developing shapes who you become. So, I took my nephew to my girlfriends families house, and her sister put him in a dress. I got flustered, and said they should take it off. Her whole family, including her, told me to relax as he was born with it and there is nothing I can do to change it. I was shocked at this outlook, surprised someone could even believe that. I ended up lecturing my girlfriend about the sciences surrounding that ideology. So, I went home and told my family about it (they are all very religious, I am an atheist) and THEY AGREE. :|
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Most Helpful Girls

  • if you believe that environment shapes homosexuality, and you're trying to maintain any sense of logical thought, you have to conclude that it also shapes heterosexuality.

    im an atheist and I believe sexuality is mostly innate. environment may play a role in your exposure to certain things, encouragement to subdue or expose certain things, comfort with certain things, etc. but I haven't read or heard of any logical explanation that would lead me to believe that your environment shapes your sexuality. I believe environment can influence identity and sexual awareness or beliefs on sexuality, but that is not the same thing at all. it doesn't seem like a rational opinion to me, but that's just my opinion. I believe genetics and prenatal development, hormones, etc. all shape sexuality or predisposition to certain sexualities. Just like everything else. however, I also believe most people are bisexual and your environment definitely does shape which side you're going to identify with the most or be aware of. and I definitely do not believe you can actually change your sexuality. you can brainwash yourself or train yourself to associate natural sexual reactions with negative images, ideas, or feelings. but that's about it. however, I also believe that sexuality is complicated to understand and somewhat fluid.

    im always interested on what people who believe in "environmental influence" as a primary cause actually mean when they say that. so explain to me what you personally mean when you say you believe in environment shaping sexuality. give me an example.

  • Being gay isn't a choice, and neither is transgenderism, which could be the more appropriate term here. Obviously you don't understand the science behind it, because brain scans have shown that homosexual men and transgender men (males who identify as female) have similar sized brain structures and more similar female hormone levels present during pregnancy as females.

    On that note, if you really want to know if your nephew is a homosexual or transgender, I suggest waiting until after he's gone through puberty, as those hormonal changes can make a difference. Also, the fact that he just wants to experiment at such a young age shouldn't be that alarming. When I was a little girl, I didn't like barbies. I played basketball and loved Hot Wheels and video games like Mortal Kombat. I'm slightly more feminine now, I've always identified as female although I'm somewhat of a tomboy, and I'm sexually and romantically attracted to men.

    Obviously you also haven't heard of the case of David Reimer (might be the wrong last name, but I know the story is right)... a botched circumcision from back in the 60's. The boy's parents raised him as a girl, but s(he) always felt like a boy, even though they were giving the child hormones and reconstructed "her" genitals to be female on the outside. So your "environment shapes you" theory only goes so far. Nature and nurture play different roles in each individual situation.

    • Lol, thank you. At least there is one intelligent person here.

  • I believe that no matter what your environment, if you are going to be gay then you will be gay

    So I guess you could say I believe people are born gay

    However, while environment influences your thoughts and personality, I don't think it affects your sexual preference

    First of all, playing with babies, mermaids, or other more "feminine" things does not mean you are gay. Men can like chick flicks, shopping, etc without being gay. They can also be gay and like those things. Sexual preferences do not define personality and vice versa. If environment truly influenced sexual preferences then über religious families against homosexuals would never have children that turned out to be gay. But there are homosexuals out there who grew up with a homophobic environment. I'd say, if your nephew wants to do all of this then let him. If he starts crying because you take these things away then don't take them away. However, if it is just your sister forcing these things on him because she thinks he was born gay and thus must like these kinds of things then you should stop it.

    • I do believe that this kind of environment can have some negative effects though. When he gets older he might be made fun of for his choice of toys(if it is his choice and not his mothers choice) But it can also have positive effects. Whether he is gay or not, he will be more open minded to the idea(hopefully) of homosexuals so that if he or another friend when he is older turns out to be gay, he won't have as much inner turmoil over whether he is comfortable with himself or that person as a

    • Homosexual

Most Helpful Guys

  • i used to watch the little mermaid too haha. but wanting to be a princess or a girl? no way. I'm like you I don't believe people are born gay. that's just an easier excuse to say than "i chose to like guys." people are born with a natural attraction to the opposite gender. they have to choose to be attracted to the opposite gender. I hate it when people say "oh? so when did you choose to like girls?"... I didn't. that's the point. I'm naturally attracted to girls, people have to choose to be attracted to the same gender.

  • I've seen The Little Mermaid. I watched Cinderella, Snow White, She-Ra, Gem, Rainbow Brite, My Little Pony. The girl next door taught me how to braid hair. I walked around in my single mother's high heel shoes. You know what? You know what, with all of that, I have never had the urge to kiss another man or have sex with another man. I always liked girls and even from a young age I liked big breasts. That's because I was not born hardwired to be gay. Your nephew on the other hand, is gay and he was born that way.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • An environment may trigger certain perceptions and emotions to be more dominant but sexuality is something you are born with. I don't even understand how you found scientific evidence to support your theory because nothing I have ever seen, read or researched has come up saying that a child's environment makes them gay.

    Also your nephew is a kid. When I was little I had my hair cut short, wore boys clothes and played with worms... My dad has a video of me saying "I like being like a boy."

    If you look at me today, I'm straight and I'm super thrilled at being a girl. As a kid, that perception or feeling isn't even there yet. Take a chill pill.

  • um, they ARE born gay. it's not a belief, it's a scientific fact.

    link

  • I know plenty of guys who grew up with only sisters and only "feminine" things and ended up completely straight :P

    But besides that, why are you so concerned? o_o If he ends up gay, the struggles he might face for being gay are not HIS problem to avoid. Shaming HIM is not the solution to society's homophobia.

  • I agree with her. If the little boy had no gay inklings at all, there would be nothing to encourage. I see your girlfriend as just letting him do what he naturally wants. if he wanted to be a "regular boy" he'd naturally have gravitated to that.

  • Let's be realistic here...

    No one is born gay. Neither is anyone born straight for that matter. We all need to understand that life requires time for ANYTHING to develop. That's how things work. It sometimes blows my mind when people can't seem grasp that.

  • I believe people are born gay, it is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Maybe he just has feminine quality's about him. He is a little boy! It is okay. Give him a choice between barbies or trucks, let him play with what he wants too. His happiness is MOST important.

  • Bro, I watched the f*** out of the little mermaid when I was a kid. I had a few stuffed dolls I played with when I was young too. All my cousins and family around my age are female, so I ended up playing female games with them. I think my sister still has pictures of me in a tutu and butterfly Disney princess wings running down the road waving at cars. I'm completely straight.

    I seriously doubt those factors influence homosexuality.

    Studies have been done that shows brain scans of homosexuals and heterosexuals are different. Hormonal levels at adulthood and in the womb were completely different as well.

    Plus you are atheist, lacking any religious zealotry condemning homosexuality, why do you care what he is? If someone is happy they are happy. Why does it matter to you if he like dudes female or trees?

  • He may grow out of it but it seems like your nephew could be a girl trapped in a boys body, suggest to his parents to seek a therapist or someone who specializes in that kind of area

  • I have to agree with your girlfriend there. I think people are born gay. I mean, looking at it, why would homosexuals want to go through all the criticism and sh*t, god knows so many people are prejudice about it, why would they want that? People can't help who their attracted too. But, as far as your nephew, let him play, watch whatever. He is a little kid. If he likes it, than accept it. That's all that matters.

  • I think people are born gay, but it's not even really the issue here. What is wrong if they are making him gay?

    • i don't think people should be encouraged to be gay personally. its just wrong

    • why

  • this doesn't mean anything .she is encouraging role reversal by buying Barbie's and buying dresses for him .hes just a little boy and he hasn't even gone through puberty yet .

  • I hope one day ignorance of this kind dies out. Anyone who thinks a certain sexuality is a lifestyle choice makes unicellular organisms look advanced. People are born with a sexuality.

  • I know people who we raised in a very religious christian upbrining and were always taught homosexuality was wrong. And turned out to be Gay years later. And were considered outcast's because of it.

  • They happen to have the facts on their side. People ARE born gay or straight.

  • That's the whole nature vs nurture debate.

    And to put it bluntly - you are not right. I'm not saying you're wrong, but you're not right.

    It is not JUST environment that makes someone gay.. Just like it's not just biology. It's a combination of the two.

    But to be very honest (having studied this) it does appear to be more genetics than environment..

    An accessible, easy to watch documentary on this was done by John Barrowman (easier to watch than reading the studies!).. I reccomend viewing it.

    But to be fair, does it really matter? People are gay.. Who cares what the cause is? Just accept them for who they are.

    Oh, and you're being just as opinionated and stubborn as your girlfriend.. If not more so..

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Home >  Sexual Health  > Girlfriend is very strongly opinionated and believes people are born gay.