Sexual Health
+1 y

I am horrified, me and my ex boyfriend's sex tapes are online.

A very close guy friend of mine told me he was at home watching p*rn and he came across a video that looked like me and my ex boyfriend having sex. I was horrified and started crying. My guy friend told me he got to searching for more and he found videos of me masturbating in the shower, videos of me masturbating on my bed with my sex toy and he could hear what sounded like my ex-boyfriend talking in the background recording me, also a video of my boyfriend finishing in my mouth after a blowjob, and a video of me on top of my boyfriend riding him. I asked him to show me the videos and he was able to pull them up on a website. Sure enough it was me and the videos I had made when I was 18 or 19 with my ex-boyfriend while we were still dating. I am so scared, I am only 20 years old now and this is terrifying for me. I asked my guy friends to help me try and delete them but there is no way for us to do it. Does anybody know a way to do this I have tried contacting my ex-boyfriend but I have no way to get in touch with him, we have not spoken for over a year. Please somebody find an answer. I have tried everything I know to do.
Updates:
+1 y
And now I am a little concerned what my guy friend is at home doing with these videos. He is a great friend and I don't think he would give them to anybody else but I'm wondering if he is using them for his own personal desires. It's embarrassing knowing your guy friend has seen you naked and masturbating. Much less the rest of the world also
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • Lots of advice has been given here, little of it good. Once a video like these make it to the internet, they are copied and circulated all over. Many have tried to get a site to take down videos, but only legal pressure will work if you were under the age of consent at the time of the videos. And even if they are removed from that site, they have already spread all over the internet. There is no removing it. Period. One post here mentioned it would go away in time. It will be replaced by newer things that are easier to find, but it will always be somewhere in the archives.

    You are not going to get rid of them. Sorry, but they will always exist. You need to change your attitude to retain your sanity. Not saying you have a bad attitude, just that the situation will not change, so you need to adjust how you handle it. Maybe some counseling will help you adjust. You will need to put it behind you as a stupid series of events, done at at ime when you were less mature, and with a guy you should not have trusted.

    You may want to change your appearance (hair style, makeup, whatever) to prevent easily connecting you to the videos. People who already know you will realize it is you, but new people may not be able to.

    I would not worry about your guy friend who found the videos. It does not sound like he would be spreading the word. I certainly would not for a good friend like you describe. And if he finds you sexy enough to masturbate to them while keeping your secret, then just take it as a compliment. Not saying that it would make you happy, just that you can look at the positive side of it if you can't prevent it. And don't distance yourself from him just because he has seen these. Keep him as a friend.

    Hopefully, many girls will see this and realize that what many of us have said here before is true. You record things like that, even with a guy you trust, possibly are married to, and later things can change in your relationship and the videos go viral.

    Why does your age range show as 25-29 if you are 20?

  • Fist off, sue. SUE him for invasion of privacy, if any show you when you are underage, child p*rn. It was against your will and with out your permission. IT is illegal. You would need a court order to stop the video on the web but once something is on the web it is there for life.

    Sorry to hear that this happened to you.

    Have you talked to him and asked him if he was responsible, there is a VERY small outside chance that he is not responsible. Then again he may just be a prick that enjoys embarassing you, exploiting you, and causing you mental stress and damage.

    • None of them are under age because I was 18 when I started dating him and also yes he kept the videos with him at his house so I am sure he is probably the one who did it

    • As you did not knowingly make the videos, agree to it, nor was video surveillance video signs hanging to alert you, they are illegal. Even during sex, masturbation, changing and showering you have the right to privacy and this filming and illegal distribution is wrong. He does not have a consent form filled out, therefore he does not have your consent to be videoed or to have said video circulated, for free or charge.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Try e-mailing the p*rn websites?usually p*rn websites should have a FAQ's link or an e-mail if you have questions or concerns, or want feedback on videos? Give the p*rn websites in the e-mail the titles of the videos you found of yourself and of your ex-bf, the username that had posted the videos up on the p*rn website, tell them to take the videos off since you were not aware you were being recorded in the videos and did not know until after the videos were posted on the site that someone had posted the videos of you on the site. (it's an invasion of privacy and illegal to record someone when the person doesn't know that he/she is being recorded whether audibly or video-in some states).
    So depending on the state, you can have the person who posted those videos of you (and your bf) prosecuted in a court of law.
    I can slightly relate-I was sexually assaulted a year or so ago, and a few days later, I found a video of someone who really resembled me on a p*rn site and was almost certain that it was me, but then the computer I was using crashed. Then, later, when I tried to go to the website after I had to get the computer that crashed fixed which took quite a few days, I couldn't find the video so I assume it was taken down. I e-mailed the p*rn website but surprisingly, the owners of the p*rn website didn't seem to care at all and never replied back to my message to them. I didn't remember the name of the user who had posted the video because at the time when I first saw it I was so overwhelmed by rage and disgust and partially denial.
    But I highly encourage you to try to prosecute whoever posted those videos of you online-I wasn't able to successfully prosecute mine.

  • the only way, imo, is to contact the uploader and beg them to take it down...but what if the uploader is your ex? he's clearly a douchebag, so I don't think he'd take it down. honestly, you should just deny, deny, deny if anyone else asks you about it. starting to cry was the stupidest thing you could do. actually, letting your boyfriend tape you was the stupidest thing you could do. do you have anything on your ex? and there has to be some way for you to contact him. if your face isn't crystal clear in those videos, then I wouldn't be too worried. sorry for being so harsh, but I really hate women who do this. hope you never do anything as stupid again. and about your guy friend- it might be embarrassing for you, but it's done. you can't erase his memory. so you either end that friendship, or put on a brave face and try to get over the invasion of privacy.

    • I understand your harshness but understand I was 18 young and dumb back then and I was in love and it was the first guy I ever had sex with and well you know how that story goes. And no I won't be doing it again. And as far as my guy friend goes what's done is done and we will continue to be friends

    • i guess we're different because even at that age, I knew how to protect myself. I really wish I could find your ex and chop him up into tiny little pieces... this kind of betrayal of trust pisses me off so much. really makes me wish I didn't care about guys at all. anyways, good luck... be strong :)

  • link

    link

    Maybe these will help. I had someone threaten to do this to me but I have not found them but I am aware that they may end up online if they aren't already. I understand how this feels.

    You can also claim it's 'intellectual property' there are so many videos uploaded that these sites don't want to deal with a law suit and will take it down because it is not worth the hassle.

    • Here is another helpful site.

      link

    • This is very good info and thank you for posting. My only concern is if I get in some kind of big legal matter that my parents are going to find out. I feel that I am in a lose lose situation unless I can somehow get in contact with my ex-boyfriend and believe me I'm trying every way possible to. I am trying to contact his old friends old girlfriends and anybody I know to get in touch with him I think he is in the military now so it may be hard

    • There is no way your parents will find out unless you tell them. Chances are there won't be a big messy battle, these sites have so much 'material' they post that it's so much easier to just take yours down then deal with any legalities.

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 18

  • Contact the websites in question. Let them know this video violates 2257 laws because you never signed a release, and demand that it be taken down. It is a violation of federal law to post sexual videos unless you have photocopies of IDs, model releases, and that the videos have a 2257 identifier on them.

    link

    link

    link

    Many websites have a link for a DCMA or 2257 take-down request; hopefully this one does too.

    Message me if you need further help.

  • He is not a great friend if he did this to you. Yes it was wrong. Yes you need to involve legal authorities either police or lawyers. A reviewer said to tell them you were under age. If that is a lie it could cause more harm then help.You do not think that he would give them to anyone...hell he is looking at them on a web site slapping one off. Hell most of the perverts here have gotten off on their seeing a sibling naked. Find a lawyer that offers free consultation. Ask him.

    • I guess contacting a lawyer would be a good idea it's just so embarrassing if I have to show them the videos he put online. I just want to crawl in a hole and never come back out

  • I'm sorry, I can't imagine that happening. I had a boyfriend who wanted to make videos and I just couldn't agree to it. Sex tapes should be private, but sadly many times they get out. I hope you can take this as a lesson and not beat yourself up over the mistake. There is tons of p*rn on the internet, I think it's probably less likely someone else you know will find it.

  • am so sorry 4 you .. but technically speaking you need to hack into these sites which are very secured .. or to find the person who uploaded them and get him to delete them .. although its not a must that your ex is the who uploaded them .. ironic things about some sites is that when uploading a video they have this note saying "dont upload a video of your girlfriend you won't be able to remove it later" !

  • Did you know the videos were being filmed?

    • Yes

    • I suspect there's nothing you can do. he's the legal owner, you actually can't force anyone to take them down. For what it's worth it made Paris Hilton a star.

  • I'm always afraid that happening to me with my current boyfriend, we have so much stuff, like anal, coming inside, facials, swallowing, etc., I can't even imagine if this happens to me. I'm really sorry for you. I guess it can happen to all of us.

    • Save your self the worrying and ask your boyfriend to keep them at your house and when he wants to watch them he can watch them with you but don't let him take them home or this may happen to you

    • We live together.

  • really nothing you can do. those videos are so circulated and people paste them on other websites its impossible to get them off once online. I'm sorry it happened to you! only thing you can do is sue the person. you were of age so its not something you can do for unage rights. good luck

  • the internet is a big place...if you forget about this all, those videos will be long forgotten and buried by thousands of others soon enough

  • Have you actually seen these vids? Unless they are labeled with your name or something I do not know how I could find them...I am sceptical of this story...do you have any idea how much p*rn is out there? And yet this dude just happens to stumble onto you and is able to find much more? eh...also..even if this is true..you did not murder anyone..some short term humiliation is really about the long & the short of it...but remember that tapes/vids are exactly the same as secrets...they usually come out in the end..I would advise anyone against taping

    • My first name and middle initial are on all the videos. And they are all on one site that I know of anyway

  • I'm sorry that happened to you :(

    • thank you

  • I think you're SOL. If he took video of it, it's technically his video (depending upon where the video was shot). Also, the owners of websites really have no reason to take them down. That's the beauty of the internet.

  • Writing a registered letter to the owner of the site might be the first thing to try.

  • I really think you need to prove that this is true and send us at least one of the links to these vids.

    • haha no. your supposed to be helping me.

  • contact your local police as well as possibly the FBI, its a legal crime to put a sex video of your ex on the web without your legal consent unless his computer was compromised by a virus, also the reason I say FBI is because the videos are probably being distributed through many websites not just one and the FBI has a dedicated digital crime unit that can track the videos and take them down off almost every website.

  • contact the fbi, seriously, and tell them you don't want to be on those sites, they may be able to "request" for the company to take them down because you never did conscent, plus if you were a minor at the time, then it would be child p*rn and the company would have to take it off the web, but I don't know if you where 17 or not, maybe you should think about it again.

  • Contact the website. Best shot...

  • Nothing you can do, except don't be so foolish in the future.

    Making a sex tape can be fun, but it will find a way to the internet eventually.

  • I find it hard to believe tbh link

  • Hmmm true or not true... link

    • link

    • Maybe this mutha f***in link works ( I will pray for it to) link

  • Report the videos at the site as uploaded without consent. And report him to the police. It's not legal what he is doing.

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