Haven't had sex in almost 8 months...it's starting to get to me. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

For a long time, the whole not having sex thing didn't bother me. Especially since I got out of a pretty long and bad relationship, this person was the only person I had "regular" sex with. He was actually somewhat emotionally abusive to me and lots of sex ended in tears. Not because he hurt me physically or did anything truly bad, but because the relationship was going south for a really long time. In the last year, I had sex 5 times. So really, it's been a while since anything regular was happening. But I am a college student, 21 y/o female and my college years are coming to an end. I have high enough self esteem to know I am pretty, smart, athletic and attractive to other people. I know guys like me, but I haven't really met that many that I somewhat like. My major is pretty nerdy and I am always one of the few girls in class. I don't really have any male companionship at all. Besides my study buddy, who is just for that, studying. The last time a guy was interested in me, he sat at my dining room table and talked to me for 4 hours straight. Annddd nothing happened after, that was 6 months ago. I cuddle at night with a bear I have had since 9th grade (my mom gave me for vday) and that's okay. But it would be nice to have a warm body there every now and then. I don't think I even know what it's like to kiss anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions about meeting new people, specifically guys? Or how to cope with the loneliness? I'm just really lonely and I really don't want to be in meaningless friends with benefits situations. But I also don't want to be in something super serious.I'm so lonely tonight, I guess I should be out. But I have to get up early, mostly why I don't go out.

[MrOracle]

You need to work on expanding your circles of friends. You're in a "nerdy" field with mostly guys, and I'm sure some of them like you, but they are probably terrified to ask because you give off vibes that say "BACK OFF - I'M NOT INTERESTED!"

But you don't have to be limited to that either. You just have to start making an effort to be more outgoing and meet and do things with people, and that doesn't have to be guys. You can find some girlfriends, and start doing things with THEIR friends, and then met the friends of THOSE people, and quickly start expanding your circles. If you're doing that, and being fun, friendly, and outgoing around those people and let everyone see you having fun and being happy, guys are going to start hitting on you.

But if you sit around lonely, depressed, and mopey, you'll give off a vibe that says "leave me alone" and no one is going to make an effort to get to know you.

Keep in mind that it can get a LOT harder after college to meet people. College brings together a huge group of people of the same age, most of them single, and that will probably be the last time you're around such a high concentration of single folks your age. Once you're done with college and move back home, the ratios go back to normal, and compared to college, it seems like there is no one your age around! That's not completely true, but it WILL be a greatly reduced selection compared to the college environment.

So, get out there, meet people, network with their friends, and grow your social circles, and before you know it, you'll have a boyfriend.

[SmoothOperator1980]

My best (and simple) suggestion is to start doing guy things. It's football season so it's the perfect time to get out with your girls to tailgating parties, or for NFL go to a local sports bar. I'm not saying just start hooking up with everyone, but football season for you should be easy pickings. Don't worry about it if you don't know much about it. It's a great way to start a conversation. If you do then just play dumb if all else fails. Good luck and let us know how you do!

[Anonymous]

I suggest doing online dating, that's what I did when I was going through this. I did it on and off for a few months, then stopped, then started looking again for like two months, and I finally met someone who I am in a relationship with. It's convenient, you get to meet people rather than being home alone, there are people looking to have fun and maybe some that strictly want a relationship so you have options. If you're not into that whole online thing then maybe join like a social club or a take up a sport and be part of a team to get yourself out there.

[Anonymous]

why not go live on another planet ? you might meet a nice monster !

[Asker]

wtf

[TheUglyOne]

Depends on how badly you want it. Many desperate men out there, will put out for anything.

Our, you could be patient, wait for a man you really dig who digs you too, and have sex you will actually enjoy.

[foolycooly1001]

Join a club where you can meet guys.

[Anonymous]

go to a bar or a club, obviously girls, not guys, are the ones that know if they are going to leave the bar or club with somebody.

[Opinion Owner]

jealous, envious on how it's so easy for girls to get sex

[Asker]

Sex isn't really all girls want. We want someone who cares about us and wants to sleep with us too. lol

[Opinion Owner]

i would like, love that too, but the way you asked this question, it made it sound like as if all you want at the moment is just sex only

[Anonymous]

You should just use the studying as an excuse to get together and talk.

[Anonymous]

Go to Wallmart, grocery store, libraries and smile more and sexier clothes

[Anonymous]

try seducing someone? I mean if your pretty and whatnot it shouldn't be too hard. Guys that don't make the move are just nervous that they are going to get rejected or make an awkward situation but if you initiate then all is well

[Asker]

I have no someone to initiate with. So next time I am out and talk to a guy I may like, I should initiate something? I can be shy, but I guess it depends on how I feel at the time. I'll try that next time.

[Opinion Owner]

ya make it obvious your interested