Guys and Girls: Feeling a little self-conscious?

[Anonymous]

So me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and the sex is starting to become a little more routine. It isn't as exciting. I definitely still feel a connection, the more intimate side but I feel like its predictable. My boyfriend and I were brainstorming different things we could try and he suggested 69. I was a little iffy about it because of one reason-and it may sound silly-but I don't want him to see my butthole. Haha I just think its weird. I'm completely shaven, totally hygienic down there but I'm afraid that's all he'd be concentrating on, or I'd be going crazy in my head, trying to guess what he's thinking and not enjoy the experience. So girls, tell me about your first 69 experience, what it was like, if you were self-conscious or not, if you had the same fear but overcame it or let it get in the way. Guys, I want to know about your first experience with this wild sex position too and tell me what you were thinking. If it bothered you or if you enjoyed it, what the view was like, etc. I'm really considering this because I want our love life to be steamy again. I don't want to let my insecuritites in the way. Thanks GAG.

[ncsquirll99]

So I am going to make this succinct but I hope it helps. First I just want to say that sex will of course become "routine" after years. you can always try new things occassionally but what is more important is to make sure that the "routine" is just amazing! What I am trying to say is that even if the sex is "predictable" - there are only so many things you can do - it doesn't have to be boring. Focus in on certain aspects and pay attention to different parts. Also add in more stuff before the sex - maybe cook a nice dinner? Or get a nice massage (at least 30 minutes long before sex)? There are many things that you can do but never allow yourself to get bored.

Okay - now for the interesting part:

About the whole 69 butthole thing! lol. Well I am a guy who has only done 69 a few times. let me start off and say that it is AMAZING! I enjoy it immensely - however sometimes I will admit it makes me come a bit earlier than I would want. So - the part you are worried about - DONT BE! I don't know what it is about girls but even their buttholes are sexy. You might think that I am just one of those fetish guys but that isn't even true. I am VERY vanilla in the bedroom and I can assure you that a guy understands your anatomy and will not be turned off by it (That is of course assuming you are completely clean, showered, and if necessary - shaved.) It sounds like a lot but even though it is right there in your face the whole act is so sexy that it doesn't matter. I do get your apprehension though but hope that you can calm it. To be honest - once you are comfortable with EVERY nook and cranny of each other your sex life will open up. Do 69 and just be sure to take it slow at first and let yourself enjoy it! Trust me - he will enjoy giving to you even more than receiving!

[Lommelun]

When you think about it calmly it, you'll understand that your butthole is nothing special. It is a very normal, completely average butthole with nothing very special to it. The only difference for your guy is that it is YOUR butthole, and thus more interesting to him than most buttholes around.

Before you start experimenting wildy, you'll have to be more comfortable around each other. And I suggest you start out exploring each other, and letting yourself be explored until you feel good aobut it. Until you can lay down and relax and let your partner look and touch every part of you. And you do the same with him. Take your time. Learn. Talk about it. Ask questions. Answer calmly and truthfully without being upset.

By doing this you'll get a much more relaxed relationship both to your own and the other persons body. You'll know more about what makes the other tick, and what you feel you want to do beyond just looking and touching.

[Skylark23]

I like 69 but personally I find it better with him on top of me or not quite lying on top of me, if you get my drift!

I have always had issues about parts of my body and I still do, but for myself I always make sure I am shaved and clean also but I'm just a bit shy.. I think because we know its a bit taboo maybe?

I find the best way to deal with it is to just relax and take it naturally. If it does not feel right then try something different.

Your always going to worry about your body and what your partner thinks of you, mainly due to the part of p*rn and sh*t like that creating a fake image of what we should be like.

Just enjoy it and try maybe using some toys and creams, always fun ;P

[sage-of-caring]

I don't really like 69 unless you both are in sync, I feel like one person always gets short in of the deal after the first climaxes. As far as insecurities, you ever just be naked in front of him? I'm typically insecure with any women until we spend time just exploring each others bodies, it makes me feel more attractive to be able to bare my nude body to a woman and have her do the same.

[sage-of-caring]

as far as anal play, take it slow and don't do anything you're not comfortable with. But it can be very stimulating, and enjoyable if you do it right.