Sexual Health
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I'm a virgin, but I really want to have sex?

I´m a 23 year old virgin girl. I´been in relationships before, but it didn´t really work out and we never got to the point of having sex. I always said I would never have sex until I was in a relationship with someone I loved and who loved me back. Well, I still haven´t found him. People really confuse me because everyone (guys too) tell me that I´m too pretty and apparently too hot to be a virgin. It makes me feel as if I´m wasting my body and my youth not having sex. However, the main problem is that I really, REALLY, want to have sex. I get extremely horny and I just want to be f****. OMG, I can´t believe I just wrote that. Should I wait? or should I just have sex with some random guy?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I'm 21 in the same boat. You have options. You have to work with your values. What do you want your first time to be like? What does sex mean to you - can it be something carefree and fun, or is it an expression of love for you? Can you imagine yourself opening up, letting loose, and actually performing these acts with a man you don't know, or don't care for? Have you ever done anything sexually with a guy you didn't care for*?

    When answering these questions, there are things you need to make sure you know: You're going to end up bonding with your partner emotionally (unless the experience is truly awful). So don't be scared when those feelings come up. You're going to want to do it with a guy you trust, even if you aren't in a relationship with him or don't love him, because he's going to need to take care of you. It's likely not going to be a terrible amount of fun the first few times, and you need a guy who is going to listen to you when you say you're hurting or when you figure out what you want. You need someone you trust to explore your body with you.

    Most of all, don't be embarrassed. You are gorgeous, girl, own it! No one really judges you negatively for being a virgin. Anyone who thinks badly of you is jealous of your values and self control, and the other half of people couldn't care less that you're a virgin or respect you for your values. If you want to have sex, do it, but don't do it because of others. Do it for YOU.

    That being said, my personal money is on wait for a guy you love. But if you really want to do it, do it with a friend you trust. I'm sure any of your single friends would jump at that chance. And, of course, be safe.

    *I did once, and it was honestly the most shocking and rude awakening for me. I didn't expect the influx of emotions, how much I wanted him to stop touching me - even though I initiated - how much I missed my ex, and worst of all, how much I loathed myself for doing it. I don't say this to scare you. I say this to make you more aware. You need to know yourself. That experience taught me that I am not the kind of person who can have random hookups. Can you?

    • Thank you so much! You really helped. And I certainly don't see myself having random hookups. I think I'm gonna have to wait a little longer...

    • Good luck with that! Stay strong. Know what you want, because what you truly want in the long run is what you deserve. Settle for nothing less!

    • And if you ever get upset and need someone to talk to, you can message me.

    • Show All

  • I'm 19 but other than that in the same situation. I think it is worth waiting, or at least I hope it is.

    But I guess you should ask yourself what sex means to you. Do you not mind having casual sex or do only want to sleep with someone you love?

    I don't know about you, but one of the worst things I can imagine if I lose my virginity to a guy and he leaves me the next day. If you don't mind the idea of having casual sex though and you want to have sex, you may want to think about losing it to someone you trust but maybe aren't in love with. I'd think that's risky and I wouldn't do it but it's possible.

    If you can't imagine having casual sex, then seriously I think it's worth waiting

    • @QA...I have no use for virginity...but I think My Friend here has posted a a very good answer^

Most Helpful Guys

  • I honestly have a lot of respect for women who hold off on sex. I think it's a bad decision, but I respect it. The reason being, every women I have ever been with, who has told me about her first time (I've never been with a virgin myself) has told me it pretty much sucks. Having been with inexperienced women, I definitely prefer a more experienced girl in the sack (not a whore though, lol). What I'm getting at is, for most girls, maybe not all, sex tends to suck the first few times. Then even when your experienced good sex requires good chemistry with your partner. You're young you should be enjoying yourself. Sex is a big part of any relationship and if you're looking for Mr. Right, how good the sex is will make a huge difference

    . I know in my own experience, right or wrong, women tend to become far more attached, fall in love, whatever after we've had sex. It usually has the opposite effect on me, but I have been with a few girls who after we had sex, I fell for pretty hard. The lust is a big part of what becomes love. You need to find out who you are sexually and experience different things before settling down.

    People need to sew their oats, or else theyll typically regret it later. I'm not saying to sleep with just anyone. Make sure it's someone you actually want to be with, I'm just saying don't let other people's ideas or moral hangups dictate how you live your one life.

  • your virginity carries as much weight as you put on it. It is really up to you. There is only a very small subset of guys who will be disappointed if you enter into a relationship with them no longer a virgin, and really I consider them a little twisted and you'd probably be better off avoiding them anyway.

    The only thing is that girls tend to regret it when they have sex with someone they don't like. As a guy, I don't have that problem. you would have to do some soul-searching to know if this applies to you.

    • oh, please note: do not consult other people about the regret thing. Many will be eager to tell you that you will regret it, and if you don't regret it, they will be the same people eagerly trying to make you regret it by shaming you and such. Only you can possibly have an idea of how it will effect you. No one else.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 19

  • There are always the two components of sex. The physical and the emotional. Both are driving your sexual feelings forward but they have different value systems. Yes, sex is a lot of fun and it serves a basic biological need. But, as humans, we also have a highly evolved sense of self-identity.

    Only person that can tell you what is best is yourself. What do you value most? Having lots of fun sex? Or having a first time that is a memory you cherish for the rest of your life?

  • A man like myself will love you very much. I will make massive eye-popping sex with you with a more than healthy dose of lovemaking in the process. In the morning, I will cook breakfast for you and beg you not to leave me for another man unless he's rich!

    Disbelieving? Oh DO try me! By the time I finish this answer, I'm halfway to your home!

    I hate these virgin stories!

  • i believe that guy is still out there. I'm 18 going on 19 but I'm currently doing the same and I'm a guy. Also I think that it would be better for you because if the "right" guy comes after the random guy all you will be thinking about is "I should've waited.

  • If it affects your everyday life to a point where it becomes, then I say go for it..

  • WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT

    • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  • Have you not been in any relationships, or you didn't think that you two were close enough?

  • A 23 years old virin has so much value you have no idea, call me.

  • Jesus, girl, how many offers have you had, Ill say this, don't give it to any silly young cocksman, Once broken it cannot be repaired?and make it count, Make sure you know how to relax those pelvic muscles, that way he don't have a premmy. In fact why not use a sex toy first without deep penetration and avoid the Hyman breaking, that way you get an idea of penetration, don't be scard to say woahhh boy slow down. Enjoy your first time, it is the last of the first times for sex, unless you try anal, and oral. Again with oral slowly does it, don't let him bang it down your neck, and when he makes noises like goofy, you know you did it right LOL see ya.

  • Honestly, don't just have sex with some random guy. Sex with someone you love/care for is 100x better. Its worth the wait !

  • Just stay the course imo. There's no reason to rush it and I'll bet you'll regret it (most do) if you just have sex for sex sake especially your first time. You're not wasting anything at all. Your body will always be attractive to someone who loves you and your youthful spirit can always last. Don't worry about it. I'd say wait, just go get a vibrator if you don't have one by now though. Or can always get one of those sex machines :P that should help you when you're horny.

  • You sound great. Hopefully you find a great guy who will satisfy you soon because it would be a waste for you just to randomly have sex with someone right now.

  • You should just wait, youve waited too long to make it not worth something. I regret having as much sex as I have had and I'm sure many people will tell you that too

  • You are 23 and there are a lot more year before you will get old. (remember girls are at sexual peak at age 30-35). So you are not wasting your body/youth without sex, not yet.

    Saying that, it is up to you to really decide to to explore having sex or not. But don't have sex with a random guy, just for sake of having sex .. get someone you tune with or at least someone who you find fun to be with.

    And for your REALLY , wanting sex that bad, doesn't it help when you masturbate? don't you have a dildo? if you find no sexual satisfaction and craves more and that bottled up sex desire is keeping you at bay, I guess its time to find a good sexual partner

  • well girls have the final say, control sex, so it is really up to you

  • well getting laid won't be a problem for you since you are a girl

  • i'm a 24 year old virgin guy in the same boat

  • I'm 25 and in the same exact position. I get called hot all the time, which makes it even harder. I say wait for someone you really care about, I am. So much respect for you hun! xx

  • LOVE virgins, virgin girls are for long term relationships and marriage. As soon as you have sex and you are no longer with the guy who took your virginity... you're just gonna become one more girl in a pool of non virgins that guys aren't interested in for long term sorry to say.

    Virgins are hot, if you can save yourself it will be worth it but at the end of the day its up to you, just masturbate more?

  • I know EXACTLY how you feel at the moment. I'm 24. And I always told myself the same thing. That I would find that sweet special someone. And never just settle for some random skank. Well 6 years have gone by now. And I still haven't found the right girl yet. Everyone keeps telling me I'm wasting the "Best years of my life" so I know exactly how you feel. I know I have my whole life ahead of me. But I want to enjoy it now while I young. Iv been so tense and sexually frustrated iv masturbated as much as 12 times a day in recent months. Which has left me extremely sore lol My advice is don't loose it to a random guy you don't like. But wait just long enough till you find someone your comfortable with. And worry about finding love after your sexually satisfied first.

  • you have just described me, frustrating right? over the past month I have had the biggest urges, except I can't find a girl up for it :(

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