Sexual Health
+1 y

He keeps asking me to swallow, I refuse, what do you think of this?

I'm not into swallowing come I think its as disgusting as swallowing pee. The guy I'm dating keeps requesting that I do it though to the even though I've told him I don't like to. I've had it in my mouth and ran to the toilet to spit it out. I like this guy but we've argued over this before as well because he keeps bringing it up that I feel a bit offended that he isn't respecting my preference not to. I'm thinking why so insistent? Its optional right? its after the fact of getting an orgasm? its not like I even get to come every time at sex. He feels I'm not good enough in bed because I don't act like I love blow jobs. I told him I'm working hard to make him come and I don't act as though its not a job. I mean what kind of an expression do you want if I am focused on your down there? I like this guy but I can't help comparing him to the last guy I dated who was so nice (we broke up for other reasons) and never asked anything of me. I'm not saying guys shouldn't be asking for stuff but repeatedly asking for it when I'm not into it isn't a good strategy either, sounds like a broken record and I don't know how much strongly I need to put it out that I won't do it.
Updates:
+1 y
The thing is I'm also really tired that he keeps trying to persuade me its an acquired taste, that he had to acquire the taste of women to eating women out. When I still won't budge he thinks I'm unfair and only want to do things I want. Which come to think of it is untrue, I've offered that in exchange for not swallowing that he doesn't go down on me, just fingering perhaps.
+1 y
Thanks for all your comments through this little crisis that I have. After much contemplation and reflection of the relationship, I have ended it.
0 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • Well both of you have valid points, we all have boundries and if someone does not respect those then it is a problem, but sometimes we have to reevaluate our boundries and what they mean to us. I'm not saying you have to forgo your beliefs just to make him happy, but to a degree maturity and sexual relationships are about compromise and rethinking beliefs and attitudes for the sake of the other.

    I mean beyond guys liking when a girl swallows because its hot, it is an emotional thing. She gives him a bj and the only thing he can show her for it is his cum, if she swallows it, it is like she's accepting him fully, if she makes a face like she's about to puke and runs to go spit him out it can leave him feeling hurt and rejected. I mean if my boyfriend, who I cared for a lot, went down on me and immediately after I came he ran to go wash his mouth out and spit it up I would feel so sad and rejected I would never let him do it again. If he said he just didn't like it and couldn't do it I would feel even more hurt, like what is so awful and disgusting about me he can't take it? am I disgusting? men can feel the same way. It's not fair for him to pressure you but I do see where he is coming from in wanting you to swallow.

    In the end it is a choice you have to make for yourself, if you will not do it, then you owe it to yourselves and him to leave and let each other find more suitable partners. If it really bothers you and makes you upset you should not stay with him, and if it is really important to him and you will noy budge he should not stay with you.

    • cum is great..but pee is maybe better? Why is that offensive?

  • Phew, there's a potential couple in the making who dodged a bullet. Can you imagine if they had gotten married before they discovered this incompatibility. Ouch! That's why we have sex and lots of it before we get married and don't wait for marriage. Sexual compatibility is _that_ important. I remember many years ago now when my husband (boyfriend at the time) told me he needed me to enthusiastically enjoy swallowing cum. Unlike anonymous asker, I found myself positively motivated to do so and it didn't take very long at all before I was doing just that on a regular basis. I found it to be both enjoyable and satisfying. Different choice, different result. And we're still happily married after all these years as well. :)

  • I may not understand your disgust but you have every right to not do something you're not comfortable with! He shouldn't be pressuring you or trying to make you feel like crap for not doing it.

    If you don't swallow it, are you okay with him coming on your body somewhere? Why wouldn't he be satisfied with that? It seems like a really petty thing to give someone a hard time about.

    • This is exemplary of a fundamental disconnect between men and women. As I said, for men sexual compatibility can be as important as personality compatibility is for women. It shouldn't be so easily dismissed. If it is, he's just going to feel like he is trapped in a relationship with an unyielding woman who is getting what she wants and is too selfish about it to leave him.

    • Yes I've come to see that and learn that sexual compatibility seem very important to some men.

    • It is not a matter of Sexual Compatability"...don't let someone bullsh*t you with that argument...I have had too many sex partners that DO NOT WANT this pushed on them, as if the WOMAN was the "odd man out" when it comes to indulging the guys "pornograph movie images"...of some guy shooting his wad all over your face and in your mouth..."Compatability" my ass, it is simply indulging the bozos fantasy image of what he saw in some cheap flick, while he jerked off watching it...

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guys

  • the two of you are sexually incompatible. he will hound you for this as long as you are together with him, so, sorry to say, but your best option is to break up. Sexual compatibility is as important for men as all other forms of compatibility are for women.

    You don't seem to like giving blow jobs at all - there are guys out there who don't like receiving blow jobs. I think it's time to move on: why put so much effort into struggling to make it work between you two when you could just find a guy you are compatible with?

    But, if you decide you want to stay together, I can only offer a tip of sorts: ask women who enjoy giving blow jobs why it is that they enjoy it? There are women out there who like it a lot and perhaps they can at least convey their state of mind concerning blow jobs. As I am not a woman I obviously wouldn't know, but my guess is it has something to do with experiencing a penis with all of your senses at once. So, if touch is the only sense that is important to you, you could possibly learn to enjoy the sight, taste, smell, and sound of a penis as well. Plus, touching it with your mouth gives you a somewhat higher 'resolution' of its texture and behavior. But, like I said, if it's not for you, then it's counterproductive to fake it. You may as well break up :-( my condolences...

    • to your update: good choice. Hard choice, but a good one..

  • Don't run to the bathroom to spit it out. Just let it slide out past your lips, of keep a cloth handy to spit it out (without making a big deal of it). That way you don't leave him or stop your attention to him.

    He needs to lighten up on his side. Knock off making a big deal of swallowing. You don't stop the oral as he comes, so he really has nothing to complain about. Some gals just cannot let the guy come in her mouth. That is nothing against them, just pointing out that you are able and willing to go the extra mile. He needs to accept that and shut up. Or you need to move on.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

Girls, do you have sex drive?
I just want to get fucked! How to get a guy to approach you/notice you at a party?
Are you mentally ill or mentally healthy, and is it difficult or easy for you to orgasm during masturbation?
If a guy told you he could cum farther than he can pee, what would be your reaction?

What Girls & Guys Said

2 14

  • lol that expression thing was funny but you should withhold sex you know? say either take or leave it kinda thing. It always works for my friends

    • Unfortunately I get the feeling that he is jeopadising the relationship because of that because he thinks my firm stance on it is reflective of other future disagreements we might have, which I find very unfair.

    • well if he doesn't let up then it's his fault for ruining the relationship because he's stubborn and only cares about his needs in bed I mean I would never expect that from a woman since I think its kinda gross too

  • I hate it when guys pressure, but I understand them wanting us to swallow. It's like we fully accept them if we do and it's kind of a rejection if we don't. Plus if you are with a guy who has dated around a bit he has probably had at least one girl who has swallowed. After experiencing that, any girl who doesn't will seem like she isn't trying and doesn't' care for him that much.

  • I think you should do whatever makes you feel comfortable. And overmore, as sex is about mutual pleasure, don't do it if you don't enjoy the act.

    I might add, though, that even girls who refuse to swallow by default might find some appeal to it after trying it, specially after a few times. But that is a matter of sexual preferences, and overall, don't do anything just because they tell you to do it!! That is a turn off!.

  • Listen, you shouldn't have to do anything YOU DON'T WANT TO! I would dump his ass. Because first it's swallowing cum, next it's anal next its a three way or something worse. It's a slippery slope if he's that big of a jerk to try to make you do stuff that you aren't even comfortable with never mind despise I would totally leave him!

    • Look, although I agree with your point of view... don't take me wrong but many girls do like to swallow, some do crave for anal sex, and many more than you thing will willingly engage in a threesome. It is a matter of sexual preferences. The fact that I agree with you is not because your examples, which I find outdated and have this hint of sexual stagnation, but because it is true: NEVER do what you don't want to do, and never do it under any sort of pressure.

  • Personally if I was a female, I would stop giving him head. If he can not respect your decision he does not need your blowjob. I know some guys that have been snowballed by their female partners for not warning them when she made it understood she did not want the happy ending in her mouth. To each their own, but if you don't like what I am doing, I do not HAVE to do ANYTHING...

  • Stick to your guns...tell him to f*** off ...if he continues to insist on it...He is being an ass hole about it. Had a best friend. that kept insisting on his wife taking the semen in the mouth and swallowing it...he was my good friend, but still a brazen, overbearing ass hole with women...any woman.

    I have NEVER insisted...that a woman let me ejaculate in her mouth, much less swallow it...and to do that, in my view, makes a guy less of a man, and more of a chauvinist moron in the view of any thinking woman that has a good self image. Having my penis in her mouth was / is enough pleasure, and she can certainly keep working it right up to orgasm and take her mouth off and use her hand ...

    Don't be a sucker and let this idiot bulldoze or bully you into doing something you don't want to do...Woman up to this ass hole and stick up for yourself...and tell him to hit the f***ing road if he continues with this "swallow it" mantra .

    Bruce

  • Break up with him, a man that can't cooperate on something so simple and dumb is not someone you want to be with. I have dated girls that didn't even give head, and I didn't care. You need to find someone that will respect your wishes and feelings. Not someone that's going to challenge you on it everyday.

  • If he was the one, you wouldn’t care. My wife had never swallowed or thought of swallowing when we met. But when we finally gave in, I felt right letting go and she swallowed all of it with zero hesitation. I think you gotta think if you really want the guy or if he’s just nice and convenient.

  • If you've never tasted pee before, how do you know how come tastes?

    Also, come has protein in it. If you don't get your adequate portions of protein during the day, it's a good source of it.

    Why don't you try it before you knock it!

    • What if the next guy you're with, wants you to swallow, are you going to end every relationship because you can't swallow, a bit shallow, isn't it?

    • In a way he was the first one to bring up ending it. I agreed I suppose.

    • I'm just saying, think about it, the next time you get into a relationship...you're going to wind up single the rest of your life, if you don't at least try it

  • I would not advise you to leave him. I would advise him to leave u.

  • Your comparing his come to pee? I think that would come off as a little offensive.

    • i agree

  • IDK..I would not ask for you to swallow either my come or pee...but I would want yours..if that is unacceptable...then it is unacceptable..need to tell him?

    • @Update..idk...I would certainly negotiate...only thing I would be negotiating for would be your come & your pee

  • its obviously as important to him that you swallow as it is for you that you dont.

  • do you let him come in your mouth, but just won't swallow (aka, you'll spit)? then he should just be glad he can unload in your mouth. if you're opposed to blow jobs and him coming in your mouth full-stop, then I think you are unreasonable and selfish

  • I think you should swallow

  • Just once come on. Onceeeee. One time.

Latest Questions

Husband has private account for porn and follows naked woman daily, is this normal?
If you had the power to snap your fingers and make something happen instantly what would it be?
Can men catch feelings after sex?
Do women really squirt or is that a euphemism for orgasming?
Home >  Sexual Health  > He keeps asking me to swallow, I refuse, what do you think of this?