Do men who have affairs fall in love with someone else/love the new woman?

[Anonymous]

say a man strays from a woman he is committed to and finds a new woman who does not know he is already in a relationship. he pursues her and keeps dating her for months on end, taking her out, holding her hand, acting emotional and coupley and they make out but aren't even going all the way. talking to her a lot, etc. not saying it is right of him to do this but could a situation like this mean he actually does have feelings for the new woman? obviously he is somewhat selfish, he might like knowing he has a woman to fall back on by not breaking up with the original woman, or maybe he feels obligated to her. or maybe he is unhappy with her and does not have all his needs met but is too selfish/cowardly to break it off with her? would you say a man who strays and has a whole emotional involvement and dating with a new woman is probably not so crazy about the woman he is already committed to? i am not condoning cheating. I also do think that a man who will do this would eventually leave the new woman as well even if she had no idea he was taken. but, I do think that a man who is happy in a relationship and truly loves his woman and is totally into her will not go get emotionally involved like this with some new girl. what do you think?

[Anonymous]

Love isn't selfish. If you love someone, you wouldn't start seeing someone else at the same time, or see someone when you're already committed to someone else.

Also the person who they are having an affair with can't love them enough, because they love that person, they would want them to do what's right and that's to not have an affair while they're already comitted to someone else.

Love is selfless and sacrificing. If someone has an affair, or has a relationship with someone who is having an affair, it is attraction, not love.

[Asker]

that is true. a man who strays from his girlfriend behind her back obviously does not love her that much or really at all. but, what if the new girl he strays with thinks he is single and does not know he really has a girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

yes, sometimes. and sometimes not. as with anything else in life.

[normalice]

it depends on why the guy is cheating. there are many reasons, though the most common is for the sake of variety. In this particular case, no, he isn't going to have feeling for the other woman.

another common reason is because they are sexually dissatisfied. If the new girl manages to satisfy him, he may develop feelings for her over time.

[normalice]

of course, you have to understand that men tend to be very bad at breaking up. Not all men, but certainly those who are married - if they were good at breaking up, they wouldn't be married. So, while a cheating guy may have feelings for a mistress, he will never act on them unless the mistress tattles - but that could also backfire and piss the guy off. We don't like having confrontations with women.

[kheserthorpe]

Yeah he might.

If he's going to actually leave the wife for her though it would happen sooner rather then later. Though given they haven't had sex that -could- delaying things.

[Shelly17]

Absolutely he can develop feelings. When men "just want sex " it's easy , one night stands, bars etc. if they seek conversation, intimacy, validation and friendship, they're genuinely interested in that person.

[Anonymous]

I have a wife and 15 kids but I think I'm in love with you

[Anonymous]

I just did yesterday