I Love Dressing And Dancing Like A Slut.

[Anonymous]

Okay, so I don't drink beer or alcohol, I don't do any sort of drug except caffeine) I don't have sex (at all). I'm not saying any of it justifies what I do, but until lately it's never really been that much of an issue. So I'm from Florida and Indiana, and there it's perfectly normal to wear short shorts, and cute and small dresses. Recently I moved across the country to a small town in Idaho, and here I frequently get scolded on what I wear and how I dance, where as in Indiana and Florida no one really cares as much. I don't flirt with guys or tease them, I don't usually dance in public all that much actually, but the way I dress, it's not to be provocative, I just enjoy it. It's my style, what I like. And I don't always wear stuff like that, I just like to look cute. I am tired of people telling me that. It is really that bad? It it seriously that bad? I like dancing like a slut, and it's not intentional, it just comes out that way because I'm flexible and I apparently have this sexy look on my face when I do it. I'm a good dancer, and I can do other kinds of dances that aren't slutty, but the apparent "slutty" type is my favorite. It just that it seems like when I do anything even slightly bad that everyone jumps on my case. I'm the never-been-grounded and only-had-three-boyfriends girl. I'm a good girl in short. Why is it so wrong for me to just want to do something like that? I'd also like to note that yes, every once in awhile my mom does tell me to cover up, but usually it's my friends or coworkers who are scolding me.

[Anonymous]

I'm not mad at you girl. When I moved down south from out West, I was considered a controversy because I wore makeup and had white friends. People would criticize me because I wore makeup in middle school and hung out with more than the token white person. Where I'm from black girls don't really wear much makeup until high school/after graduation and you certainly didn't flirt outside of your race. So I understand how it feels when your cultural norms aren't accepted in the new place you moved to. Maybe it's a southern thing because here it's acceptable to dress skimpy and twerk. I think middle America and smaller towns might be more conservative. I don't think you are wrong, but you may want to slightly adjust to the culture that you're in just to keep down unnecessary hate and controversy. I'm not saying totally change, because you aren't doing anything wrong and you are just having fun, but tone it down a bit. BTW your friends and coworkers are more than likely just plain jealous. Whenever I see girls chastising another girl for looking sexy, they tend to be hating on the amount of attention she gets because they don't get as much. and when a guy does it, its usually because he wishes to control female sexuality or is mad that he can't have u.

[XRabbitHeartX]

There's nothing wrong with being you. You're not hurting anyone so don't don't worry about what other people think. If it makes you happy then dress the way you want to. Only remember that you get what you give. Dressing and dancing like that will attract the wrong type of guys and then you shouldn't complain when some guys won't want to take you seriously. People talk and every thing you do can change your reputation and the way people will see you in the future. You can change many things but a reputation you can't fix...so just be careful in that sense. But if you're fine with that then no worries :)

[Asker]

You know I disagree about the reputation thing. I mean, I'm training to be a fireman and to save lives. So what if I dress differently? I don't tell someone who comes from another country that they need to dress differently, when new people came to where I lived I didn't tell them they needed to change.

[XRabbitHeartX]

Unfortunately in your heart you may know your intentions are good but people don't always know this or are aware. In life people will always judge whether it's fair or unfair judgement. It's up to you as to how you want your reputation to look like. People do something, people see it and then their perception of who they though you were changes. Like it or not but that's what happens out there. Every action has a consequence. Basic principle. Life is simply unfair.

[nermalinda]

It really does depend on where you live. I have lived in different parts of the country, and people's norms can be VERY different. You either have to decide to be yourself and put up with the scolding, or just try to fit in.

Maybe consider moving if you feel the people there are not for you.

[Asker]

Oh I am moving ASAP, but I can't leave until I'm eighteen and have enough money.

[Red_Arrow]

Small town Idaho is not Florida. At this point I expect you to be saying you know that. But if you really knew it you would not be acting out the way you are.

"I Love Dressing And Dancing Like A Slut." Your words. You know it and do it anyway, so it IS intentional. So why do you expect people to treat you any differently than the image you are intentionally projecting?

You went into their community and dress in a way that is provocative in that their culture, and dance in a way that projects you are a slut. So why are you expecting anything different from them?

[Asker]

Well the title, I suck at titles. I put that to get the point across what this was about. And I'd also like to add that I did not list this under sexuality, I listed it under style but I guess whoever runs this site changed it. I will admit that every once in awhile, yes it is intentional and in that case I'll take whatever criticism I get. It was not my choice to move here either, I had to because my mom wanted to come here and when I walk out the door I usually think I look respectable, and I

[Asker]

try to cover up more but apparently I'm not doing that great of a job. It's not like I'm not trying though. I'm trying and failing.

[Red_Arrow]

Wait till winter. You will have no problem covering up more. I have never lived in Idaho, but visit sometimes. It is not that hard to dress nicely without being slutty. Your dancing will take some work. If you had grown up there you would be shocked to see someone dancing as you do. Stop the moves that look like you're humping and the facial expressions that look like you are orgasming.

[Asker]

Okay first, I've been through a winter here before and I know I'll dress up more. Second, it's summer right now and I'm not going wear clothes that are going to make me get overheated. Third, I don't hump, I do a kind of hip hop dance and make up my own moves which are fun to me, but other people seem to disapprove of. Forth, you're just as close minded as them and you have no idea what they consider slutty. In Indiana I was considered a prude. With all do respect, go f*** yourself.

[Red_Arrow]

Sorry. I was mistaken. It isn't your moves that offend people, it is your mouth. I gave you an honest appraisal of the differences in the cultures and the ideas I had of your actions came from your own words. Your last sentence tells what your real problem is. You don't want to learn how to fit in, you just want to bitch and try for sympathy. And I can't imagine you being considered a prude in any state (or any country).

[Asker]

I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you were and elder, I give my sincere apologies. You were being rude, nevertheless, I was raised to respect my elders and I am sorry for my language and attitude towards you. I thought you were my age. But you are right, I don't want to learn how to fit in, I just wanted to know how most people thought of it. I refuse to be like everyone else because when everyone else drove by three kids on the side of the road and looked hurt, I was the only one who stopped.

[Asker]

So perhaps I dress or dance "inappropriately" but I have a good heart underneath it, but just like everyone else I am allowed to get mad and speak my mind. Still, you are my elder and I'm sorry. I think it's just better if neither of us speak to each other anymore, so it can remain respectful.

[Crystar500]

Small towns like that, are real freaking lockdown tight on keeping their old sentimental values and stuff like that. They probably are not used to seeing clothes and dances in that way. Like a friend of mine who went to Kentucky, said the people down there were not used to seeing jean shorts. It's different depending on where you go.

[xzinax2]

first of all,you're not doing anything bad,and second of all-so what if they see it like it's something bad? when you arrive in a new environment,a place with a different version of normal,good and bad-you have two choices-adapt and blend in,follow like a sheep-OR-do your thing,be yourself,do what YOU want to do.

[Asker]

I do not, under any circumstances want to be like these people. They should know better then to be so closed-minded. Thank you. I was really starting to get mad. I was about this close to putting on something that actually was slutty, walking in there and be like, "Darling, this is what a slut looks like, get it straight."

[CrystalHarley]

Florida! Yeauh! Girl do not even be concerned with them,bet you they're just jealous that they can't move like you,and I'm not saying that to be nice I'm dead serious lol so I know about all those shorts and dresses and all that fun stuff,again,wear whatever you want it's none of their concern(or at leat it shouldn't be)cus they're not the ones wearing it are they? Nope. So they can get their noses out of what you wear. If it looks cute to them cool. What kind of friends scold you for what you wear or how you dance? I don't know what kind of friends you have O.o in short:dance how you wanna dance and dress how you wanna dress :)

[Konnour]

You sound like a perfect girl!

[Asker]

Well thank you! That's nice to hear!

[NewClassic]

Ok just be able to handle guys hitting on you..I like to look hot for myself but I don't have the guts to do it in public since I don't wana get hit on 24/7

[Asker]

That's the thing, I don't even get hit on that much. I get the occasional looks but that's all. So it's quite bearable.

[sannmcbrightside]

It really depends on where you're going..I think you should be who you wanna be, but at formal occasions and such, dress right...be awesome, look awesome. wear the right things in the right places, dance how you want to, stay true to yourself, there's no need for anything more :)

[Asker]

See and I do, and I do my best to look decent but still be comfortable about what I wear. I like to look good but it's also hot outside so I'm not going to wear jeans all the time and die of dehydration.

[Anonymous]

Well ya its not a city open minded oriented type of place/state so done it down

[Asker]

I said this to someone else too, I am trying to, but failing.

[Anonymous]

Define looking cute? Why do you like to look cute?

I can better answer once I know your reasoning. Wouldn't want to jump to an conclusions.

However, to some people it is bad, and you just have to accept it. Either you can change it or you can continue being yourself. You have to decide which it best for you. However, based on the details of your question, I'd say that maybe you should really consider toning the dressing and dancing down a bit. Not because it's taboo or anything but because it seems like you're really uncomfortable being yourself and care some much about how other people perceive you that it's making you unhappy. When you're different and outside the norm you simply can't give a fck.

[Asker]

You know you're right. I just shouldn't care, like before, I didn't care, but it just started getting to me. Next time I'm just going to tell them to go ____ themselves and get over it, or not even acknowledge them.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah don't say that to them lol. If you say that they will have the satisfaction of knowing they're getting under your skin, just keep it to yourself and don't acknowledge them. I understand how you feel about the stuff they say getting to you but I think that from now own you have to accept that people will have their own opinions, a lot of which are negative. That's why so many people conform because they can't handle it, and everyone who doesn't conform get ridiculed.

[Opinion Owner]

That's why if you're outside the norm you have to have tough skin because people will make it their business to tear you down. If it's not for one reason it's for another.

[Anonymous]

It sounds fine to me. I live in Florida, so most girls I see wear shorts a lot. I can't really say what Indiana is about. You have to consider that a small town in Idaho is a completely different place then Florida or Indiana. Different people with a different view on things.

[Asker]

Yes, true, but they dress kind of... well let's just say I don't always love their style, but I don't jump on them about it, I guess I just kind of expect the same courtesy.

[Opinion Owner]

Kind of what?

[Asker]

No I won't say it because then it will make me just like them. If they're comfortable in what they wear, then that's fine by me and I won't say a word about it, because I have more respect for them than that. As long as they like how they look I don't have a problem with it.

[Opinion Owner]

Do they dress modestly?

[Anonymous]

If you like it, do it, who cares what people say.

[Asker]

Well at first I didn't care at all. But over time it's beginning to grate on my nerves. It gets old after awhile.

[Anonymous]

Go girl whoo

[Asker]

lol thanks.