Sexual Health
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How can I feel confident with my small boobs around my boyfriend?

We've been together forever, but in the first few years of our relationship he would always make comments about women with huge boobs, like with DDs. He would say how hot they were, etc., and never said the same about women with smaller boobs. He honestly made such a big deal out of big boobs, like they were the only thing that mattered about a woman (so childish IMO). I have B cups, but I'm tall and have a thicker build so they look more like A cups :( All that made me insecure but I never said a thing, until one day he mentioned my boobs are "too small" - right after sex! Needless to say I felt like crap and told him how insecure I felt (also because of a lot of jokes from when I was in high school, both fro girls and boys). And I never see women in the media who have my body type regarded as sexy (tallish pear shape... you only ever see the petite ones!). I'm nowhere near being 110 lbs! I'm 145 lbs with B cups, on a 5'7" frame, my thighs and hips are very curvy, my waist is small, but my boobs look ridiculously small. Anyway after that with the years he's learned to shut up about big boobs being so great and all, and he pays more attention to my boobs, but sometimes he says stuff like "wow, that top makes your boobs look bigger, so hot", which still reinforces the idea that big = better. So I feel like whenever he says something good about them, he's just lying to make me feel better and I feel so self conscious when we're at the beach or wherever there are busty women. He's a shy guy, so I'm afraid he's only with me because I'm the best he could do. And I fear he wishes my boobs were bigger. I also fear that if we ever break up I'll never find a guy who truly prefers small boobs. Help please!
1 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • ok, I'm going to start with the end of your Q and I'm going to come back to it later too... Some guys definitely do prefer smaller boobs. For others' boob size really doesn't matter. So if you do split up, don't worry, your "small" boobs won't stop you from meeting someone new! What you have is somebody's dream body. I can 100% guarantee that. Remember that.

    Ok, so he clearly does prefer big boobs. But honestly, do you think that he cares more about the size of your boobs - a very small area of any woman's body - than he cares about the rest of your body shape, your face, your hair, your bum, and of course your personality? Really? My guess is no.

    Next point... does he have your IDEAL body on a man? Have you ever thought he'd look sexier if he had bigger arms, or a more toned stomach, or a bigger/smaller bum? My point is that just because you're not his PERFECT body shape doesn't mean that he doesn't find you incredibly attractive overall. It's just that occassionally he might wish he had a bit more to handle, but he can just deal with that!

    Now, he does think that bigger is better. So sometimes you can treat him. He has tops and probably bras that he likes because they give you more cleavage... so if you want to treat him, wear that and tell him why.

    So I addressed it a bit above, but about feeling confident on the beach... everyone is a different shape. Some people are undoubtedly hotter than others, but the fact is that your man chose you. He has stayed with you for a few years, so he obviously is very happy. And like I said, some people prefer smaller boobs, so don't think everyone will be staring at the slim 18 year old with DD cups. Also bear in mind that her DD cups might look great to some people now, but in 20-30 years, they'll be down to her waist while yours will probably still look almost as good as they do now :) Also bear in mind that bigger isn't always better. Personally, D is perfect for me. B is only 2 sizes away from that, so your breasts would be as good as an E in my opinion. Anything bigger than an E just looks weird, or is only found on fat people.

    My final point is going back to the end of your Q. You talked about splitting up. If this is such a huge issue that it is really affecting your relationship and making you think about splitting up, then A) talk to him about it and get reassurance that he does like your body. B) speak to others about your concerns and you may get couselling or at least support and more opinions confirming that you're really not that bad. C) if you really really wanted, you could consider surgery, but you should only do that for yourself and your confidence, not for your partner.

    I hope this helps :)

    • Great answer and saved me a lot of typing.

    • Well you make good points, except I've never thought he should change anything about himself, but that's only 'cause I'm not picky and regarding hair, eyes, muscle, height, weight, and all those variables I don't give a sh*t one way or the other, I honestly have no preference and just go for what I find attractive, which sometimes can be strange as I've liked almost every type of guy (physically) one time or another. I honestly have NO preferences, weird, but it's the truth :)

  • Some here have said that he has remained with you for so long so he must really love you. I would say that regardless of how long you have been together, if he loved you, he would not keep making comments that are so hurtful to you. If he just doesn't see it himself, then he is really stupid. I think you need to sit down and tell him just how things are. It took years to get him to stop commenting on big boobs on other women. Now he makes comments like something you wear makes your boobs look bigger, "so hot". You need to let him know that you are what you are, you are not going to go with surgery so he can play with implants, etc. So from that moment on, you want him to respect you enough to never say things that reflect disappointment in your bust size. If he cannot refrain from hurting you, you may just have to leave him.

    Which brings us to your fear of finding someone that will appreciate your figure. Fact is many, many men, prefer you just exactly the way you are. You should have no problems getting a guy from that, but you may have problems from your lack of confidence. Hopefully you can bolster that, but your boyfriend has not helped that a bit.

    Good luck.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Awe :'( I have A cups and would love to be a B cup. I'm pretty self conscious too and I think I lost weight and went off the birth control pill, so they're back to being small again. The pill made me a little bigger, not a cup size bigger, but I filled out my push-up bra much better.

    There's not much we can do, I mean unless we get breast implants ha ha. I don't know how to help, I have the same insecurities as you. But my ass looks great in jeans and my legs look nice too, there are other things you can accentuate that you like. Maybe you have great legs, show them off.

    Maybe tell your boyfriend what you said here. I've told guys I've kinda hooked up with (not a true hookup as there was no sex) that my boobs are small and I didn't like them, and they seemed cool about it and still were up to cupping and sucking on them. Your boyfriend seems like an a*s, is he really worth staying with? Think about it, I mean, there are so many guys out there.

  • I think if you are with a man, who makes you feel insecure about it, or even suggests going under the knife then its a problem. *not saying u should break up. just work on it* It's because they aren't thinking about their girl, just about what gets them off and not the girls feelings. Even if a guy doesn't prefer it that doesn't mean he can get away with gawking at other girls breasts that equivalent to a girl gawking at all the sexy guys on a beach and saying "why can't you be that tall?". Trust I'm working on my own issues with my man around this. I got tiny titties too, so I feel you here girl. My boyfriend doesn't pay attention to other girls, but he has been very supportive of me previously wanting to get implants, and then seemed disappointed when I changed my mind, but either way I don't know if I can take the risk. I like my chichis the way they are, and plenty of men and women have liked mine too.

  • Try another guy would be the answer
    but seems that's not in you so

    feature your breasts, esp. nipples obvious through clothes
    for small breasted nipples are often more sensitive, more a direct line to vag and as such easier for a guy to turn a gal into putty manipulating them

    encourage him to feel them discreetly in public (out of sight) and certainly in private, full access as big breasts gals are sick of being overrun with this attention

    allow big breasted porn in the bedroom even while doing it, tap into this weakness to get more sex, no matter how/what and he will not have to seek it while fantasies are being quelled

    any gal that is a BJ expert, so much that be becomes your slave during always wins hands down on any other gal, no matter the assets of others Practice Practice Practice Practice

  • Learn to embrace your body

    Alot of times girls wear clothing that isn't for their body or they don't wear clothing for their body types. Try wearing something that makes YOU feel sexy. He's already with you and if he thought your boobs were an issue he would have dumped you.

    And so what if he doesn't prefer small boobs? That doesn't mean he doesn't like small ones. Should I dump a guy or flip sh*t out if I find out the guy prefers small boobs when I have big ones?

    Boobs are boobs. I don't get why girls with small boobs make an issue out of it

    • I couldn't say why girls with big boobs make an issue of them either, so of course you don't get it. When you've been told your whole life that you look like a boy, a pancake, a "carpenter's dream" or you hear from every angle that small boobs are undesirable, as much as you try to ignore it, it gets to you. Imagie if I'd told him his penis is too small right after sex, would that be ok? do you think he'd feel good or would just ignore it? Do you think he'd feel confident?

    • Unless someone has directly told you that to your face, you're imagining sh*t and acting over dramatic. Small boobs may not be preferably universally nor are the the most desirable, but few people actually say sh*t like that, which is why I call bullsh*t on being called all that

    • Well what do you know, people have indeed told me that to my face

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 9

  • Dump the dumbass!

    You don't want to be someones only option you want to be the woman of their dreams and the one they adore small t*ts with a hot ass and all.

  • Dump him. He should never have said they are too small to you especially after that. I’d say find a guy who actually makes you feel good about yourself and boosts your self esteem so you never have to worry about your boobs not meeting his expectations. Just find a nice guy who doesn’t care if your boobs are small. If he really loved you he wouldn’t care.

  • If he loves you, he should love all of you, and he shouldn't be putting you down like that. I definitely don't agree with what he said because It's hurtful, and I can completely understand why you took it to heart. Let me tell you though, us guys are stupid. Sometimes we say things that are out of line, and that was a moment that he did. To make him realize his stupidity and how hurtful those words were, ask him how he would feel if all you ever did was talk about how small his penis was, or that he wasn't good in bed. Tell him, imagine there was something about you that you couldn't change, would you not want to be accepted for it, instead of being made fun because of it?

    • Oh I've told him and he says he knows he was wrong, and that he's sorry, he didn't really mean it, etc., but my insecurity is still killing me! I don't know how to get over it... :(

    • IMO, don't let the size of your chest define who you are. You are more than just your chest. Realize that you have a lot to offer, and if someone takes note of only that, then they aren't the one for you.

  • Be happy with the b's.

    • But how?

  • Stick your chest out more, get the right bra and make him insecure around other guys with your chest.

  • sorry for this short response...he sounds like a jerk. You can easily find a guy who likes small boobs!

  • It is not your boobs but his attitude towards you. Be funnier and better or know more about his favorite subject. Plus be adverturous in bed or public sex

  • The boobs are not everything in one relationship. First, you should love yourself, second if your boyfriend likes and respects you, the small boobs shouldn't be a problem.

  • He is a jerk,find a normal guy who likes boobs of any size,and likes you for you not your boob size

  • He shouldn't care about that

  • Don't fell bad about it or anything be confident with yourself because because small boobs are the best boobs :D

  • I am a guy that loves small boobs, I hate big boobs. Whenever I think of big boobs, I see obese women who are in fat acceptance skinny shaming beautiful women with small boobs. I honestly do not even get hard/turned on when I see a girl with big boobs, it's actually a turn off. I find them ugly and majority of the time girls who have big boobs aren't my type. Small boobs on the other hand, get me rock hard and so horny. I find them cute and majority of the time girls with smaller boobs are active (they excercise, play sports, or are on the skinny side) all of which I find attractive. Nothing beats pinning down a skinny girl with small boobs wrapping my arms around her body and going in missionary style. If you have small boobs , don't be insecure as there are many other guys like me that Love small boobs. It's just because of the media and social media and celebrities like Kim Kardashian that makes girls think guys only like big boobs and they are the only desirable but that is not true at all.

  • It's not as important as he thinks it is. He's not mature enough to understand that he won't be more attracted to a girl with bigger boobs.

    Most girls don't realize this, but simply BEING a girl makes you attractive to boys.

    Attractiveness cannot be reduced to a science of physical parameters. It's the same with boys. If a boy enlarges his penis, or works out more, does that make him more attractive than if he hadn't? Not really. Girls are attracted to boys who instinctively give them a feeling of safety, both mentally and physically - and that feeling doesn't come directly from how tall or muscular he is. It's just a biological reaction that you are born with. Boys are instinctively attracted to girls because girls are smaller, more delicate, and exhibit child-like features that the male WANTS to protect. Girls are programmed to be attracted to boys, and boys are programmed to be attracted to girls.

    The best thing you can do is realize boys are already biologically attracted to you. Take advantage of it. Once you realize that you will carry yourself with confidence.

    Source: Desmond Morris's documentary "Human Sexes" link

  • I am a B cup like you and weight 145, but I'm only 5'5. I have thick legs and a round butt, so I usually attract butt men, but I've only received very positive comments on my breast. The problem is not your breast, its your boyfriend. Feel confident in who you are and you'll attract men, really, it works.

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