Girls seek a substitute father in a man?

[Anonymous]

i think it's a freudian theory. what do you think of it? I know some people may disagree or feel grossed out. i don't know if it means behavior and protectiveness or just someone based off their own dad? my dad is pretty dominant and a strong personality. and I always notice I am attracted to strong dominant men and I tend to fall submissive in a relationship, not that I let myself get treated awfully but I just like someone who is stronger and more dominant than I am. I usually like older men because they tend to be more dominant over me not controlling but they are ahead in life..they can talk to me in a different way than guys my age (i've dated around my age and 10 years up) one guy I dated with roughly 10 year gap was great in that way. being with an older guy was just different than a guy my age. he wasn't like a dad..the sexual attraction was very strong and I had a lot of romantic interest in him but emotionally he filled me in a way only an older guy can. it wasn't really a dad but I guess that could be interpreted as a father figure because he was older and I could talk to him about things I am going through and he would know what to say and make me feel better..guys my age can't do that or at least not the same way because it comes with age. we are still friends because it wasn't a serious relationship but he has a special place in my heart because I am very sexually attracted to him but at the same time he filled an emotional need because he was older and able to "guide" me sometimes. (I don't mind not feeling like equals) and also about personality.. sometimes a girl ends up with a guy completely opposite her father if she had a bad relationship or problems with him. a lot of times girls end up with partners that have similar characteristics to their fathers, personality wise. what do you think of my issues?

[ReeksofStatus]

I think how you feel is pretty much how almost every woman feels, to a degree. A lot of women feel embarassed, ashamed, etc. to say that they are attracted to guys that they feel are dominant, superior, etc. Not in an abusive, negative way. But something similar to the context of the relationship they had with their dad. Where you look up to him and see him as this sort of all-knowing, strong, masculine, authority figure where at the same time he loves you and cares about you more than anything in the world. In this day and age we have created these politically correct, femininist-influenced, girls can and should be able to do anything men can do, societal perceptions, that women feel guilty about the way they are attracted to men. I think you being attracted to older guys is not so much that they are older (I know 40 year olds that are immature), but it's their attitude, status, wisdom, etc. that attracts you. There's definitely a correlation with an older guy having those qualities. I think a guy your age could give that to you, it's just more rare.

[Anonymous]

I think there's a lot of sense in that theory. I"m a very dominant man who generally dates girls 5-10 years younger than myself. They've always been very affectionate and submissive. I think women want a certain kind of strength in a man. That untouchable mental toughness that they feel they don't have themselves on days when their emotional.

Also, if you really are dominant in the bedroom as a man, it makes your woman feel insatiably desired. I've introduced rape fantasies to several girlfriends. They weren't sure at first, but after we went through with it, they loved it. A lot, if not most, women want a man to take control of them in an intense fashion that borderlines on dangerous, but in a good way. :)

[ReeksofStatus]

Amen.

[canuckfarmgirl]

I used to run from that theory, deny it, say no way. I sort of have come to accept that the guys I really do want to date are often very similar to my father (in interests, hobbies and habits). It has had one benefit, my dad always likes the guys I end up dating.

As for age, I'm not really attracted to guys more than 6 years older than me. Maybe it comes from having an uncle that's only 12 years older than me. I do, however, look for dominant men. I can be extremely dominant if I must be but its not my nature to be. It just drives me insane if a man doesn't know what he wants.

As for personality, yes, again, probably similar to my dad. The guy I was seeing most recently, both him and my dad have a short temper and have a tendency to yell. And both are workaholics. My mom actually pointed it out to me and I just laughed.

That's as close to analyzing this as I'll ever get.

[sikoo31]

yeah its a pretty popular theory, and I believe there's some sense to it.

i believe this not cause he said it(some of his theories have already been proven wrong), but because I've noticed it even in my own sister.

tho lots of girls prefer the opposite of their fathers, cause well, they hate their fathers(these girls are more likely to be very sexual too).

[MakeLoveNotWar]

I read the same thing about guys looking for a partner with similar characteristics as their mother.

That's some freaky sh*t...