My boyfriend wants to hear me cry during sex. Is this normal?

[Anonymous]

So we've had anal before, but he always made sure I was ready for it and so it actually didn't hurt that much. But now he told me that it's a turn on when girls cry during sex and he's asking me if we could have rougher anal because he wants to hear me crying. Is that normal? Do guys secretly fantasize about that but don't want to admit it? I don't know what to think about it... like I'm fine with rough sex, I'm just weirded out by the fact that he wants to hear me cry...

[Anonymous]

I wish I was in that position...im cool with a little ruff sex...and most men think women are psycho if they cry during or after sex. The guy I love never understood why I cried after sex once...im not an emotional girl or a psycho but when you love someone sometimes the emotions just come out after amazing sex. Just like your best answer mentioned it only happened because my emotions were so strong for him. Wish more men liked that.

[licksodium]

I think that is somewhat normal. Every guy is different. And sometimes, depending on what is happening in his life he just wants to feel powerful. The key is to have boundaries and a safe word because A: you don't want to be emotionally hurt if it goes further than you expected it to and don't know "who he is anymore." and B: you can actually damage stuff down there so not all pain is good pain

[Asker]

That's good advice. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

I think it is really hot when a girl cries a bit during sex either due to the pain or just because the emotions are really strong for me. As long as she's not in agony, a little bit of pain, pleasure and emotions are a really hot cocktail if you ask me. A lot of guys I think like that idea, but don't want to admit to it, less a girl think wrongly that he's abusive.

[Asker]

Yeah I had the feeling that a lot of guys like it but don't want to admit it. I mean, my boyfriend only admitted it after he got really comfortable with me. So yeah. Thanks!

[Opinion Owner]

It turns me on when a girl whimpers a bit. It is my male ego thing, and we like it. Hey, our d*** is so big and strong that it is hurting her a bit, but she's not asking us to stop! Hot, hot, hot! Or, she's whimpering because our d*** is giving you a bit of pleasureful pain, plus you are emotionally connected enough to cry. Super hot! Men like it when women feel a bit vulnerable, which is why we also like rough sex/rape fantasies as well, even though we think you might judge us for it.

[Asker]

That's a really good explanation of the thinking that goes behind this. Thanks so much! It makes sense now :) I mean, as long as I know the reason isn't "I want to hurt you because I don't care about you" I won't judge him for rough sex/rape fantasies.

[Opinion Owner]

Well think about it for a moment. You overpower a woman who at first puts up a fight, then she starts enjoying it so much that she no longer wants to resist. What kind of sex beast are you? That even the "victim" can't say no to your raw power and sex appeal? It makes a man feel wanted. We all want to feel like you deeply desire us both physically and emotionally. It sounds like you and your boyfriend are close, so as long as you refrain from judgement, he'll be in good hands. :)

[Asker]

Wow! Just reading that made me feel turned on. I can just imagine how sexy it would really feel for him :) Thank you! We are close and I hope that this will only make us closer :)

[Opinion Owner]

Ha ha, this whole discussion turned me on as well. Good lord, I need to get back out there and get a girlfriend who is into this stuff. I'm getting all hot and bothered just chatting about it. I approve of this question! :D

[Asker]

Haha. that would be a good idea! un-anon yourself and we can talk about it :)

[Opinion Owner]

Done.

[Opinion Owner]

Add me and catch me on chat when you're free.

[dan87]

thats a bit weird, you'd imagine crying during sex would be like forced entry, maybe he has a rape fetish

[Asker]

We do roleplay and one of them is a rape roleplay, although I'm the one who usually initiates that one, not him. Idk...

[dan87]

your the one with a rape fetish? maybe he is just going along with that

[Asker]

Maybe. I mean, we like to incorporate some dominance/submission things in sex so I guess that could just be part of it. Tears just seemed a little strange as a turn-on

[dan87]

it might be because he wants to feel like he is so "big" that he hurts you and hence you cry

[Asker]

That's quite possible. He's a bit conscious about his size. Thank you!

[dan87]

no prob, hope I helped :)

[KingsOfleon88]

I can't understand what's worse, the fact that you have a rape fetish or that he likes to hear you cry...both are disgusting, no offence.

[Asker]

Rape fantasies are the #1 fantasy for woman according to a study I read somewhere... so I guess you're just disgusted by women in general.

[Asker]

link

[KingsOfleon88]

I am not disgusted by women. I'm disgusted by the thought that a girl would actually want to be raped.

[Asker]

Did you read the study? It's not so much as rape as being physically overpowered. And since that's 60% of women, you're saying you're disgusted by the fantasies of the majority of women.

[KingsOfleon88]

Don't get all butt-hurt because I think you're disgusting for enjoying the idea of rape.

[Asker]

It shows that you're a very closed-minded individual. Have fun doing missionary style your whole life!

[Elliot0_07]

It's totally normal! All guys likes it at some extent.

[Anonymous]

your boyfriend needs a doctor