Boyfriend wants to have a threesome with me and my best friend. Why?

Question

So my boyfriend wants to have a threesome with me and my best friend. What  I'm trying to figure out is, does he just want to do it because he wants to f*** my friend and sees that as an easy way to do it or am I actually a part of his sexual fantasy too? The way he said it is what bothers me ." I wanna f*** so and so...I wanna have a threesome and I want it to be with you." The I want it to be with you part sounds good but the way he started off saying he wanted to f*** my friend makes me wonder if its more about her and less about me. He said this right after the first time we had sex after getting back together. It makes me wonder if he's just using me to try to get a threesome. My fear is that we would do it and I would get left out and end up just sitting there watching them. Of course he's turned on by the idea of two girls together, what guy isn't, but is he more turned on by the idea of her than me? Do guys typically enjoy one girl more than the other in a threesome? Is one girl just an accessory and the other the main even? Any insight into what he's thinking?

Buckminsterfuller · Accepted Answer

I would feel the same way if it was me. The fact that he is asking for a threesome right after you got back together seems a bit shady to me. I would not do it in this instance if I were you and think of the possibly disastrous effects it could have on your friendship with your best friend! It would be terrible if something like this came between you. Its one thing to have a threesome, its another thing entirely to have it with your best friend. You are right to be on your guard. I think the best thing you could do is be honest with your boyfriend about your concerns and see what he says. To be honest he's probably thinking how great it would be to be able to be with two girls he's attracted to...that's primarily what's going through his mind. Other people's feelings are not going to be high priorities in this instance.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

cause he wants to be able to have sex with your friend without any drama from you. I bet these nice guys on GAG are thinking "damn I can't get a girlfriend but this douche can ask for this crap and she's actually considering it and all she wants to know is if he really wants her too? SERIOUSLY?!"

i'm right there with you guys...it's astounding. even as a 19 year old I would have been like "hey moron there's the door and if she's dumb enough maybe she'll be your girlfriend"

jpinka · Accepted Answer

aww the 1st time getting back? ummm kinda questionable

me and my guy had a 3som with my bff but it was my idea. it was fun and we both were involved. if you do get into it don't watch suck her nipples, eat, make out whatever. if you wana talk and private ill be online for a bit

JohnScofield · Accepted Answer

No insight into what he is thinking, thought I can guess.

But for you, I would run like the wind AWAY from that. I just don't see how anything good can come out of this. If it was your fantasy too, maybe, but it clearly isn't. I don't actually know too many women where it is their fantasy (none that I can think of, truth be told).

I htink if he can't accept that you don't want that to happen, that it is time for you to move on.

You don't have to take that rubbish...

DutchAtheist · Accepted Answer

It could be all those things but he definitely wants to have sex with your friend. Maybe just once, maybe he actually likes her more than you.

I'm amazed by the amount of girls here that actually consider the idea, I would be shocked and absolutely rejective of the idea to share my girl with another guy. Fantasies are just fine, but I don't want to hear that one.

Betwyn · Answer

I think he just wants to be with your friend..  you are a bit of an after thought her... Now, if you want to be in a 3some with her...  then you need to decide if you are OK with this...