Sexual Health
+1 y

I'm sexually attracted to someone I don't find physically attractive... and I feel BAD.

I feel very strongly attracted to someone in a sexual way (I long for intimate physical contact with him: hugs, cuddles, sex even). But when I look at a photo of him, for example, I don't think: 'wow, he's so handsome'. I'm actually like: 'he has bad skin. he's got fat legs'. And I feel so GUILTY about it. It's like: 'I think you're kinda ugly I want you to touch me'. What the hell?! How on earth can these two opposite ideas co-exist at the same time?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • ha I'm kind of similar, because for girls emotional connection and sexual/physical are not separate, we often feel attracted to guys when we have an attraction to their personality and/or emotional or some other non physical connection we feel sexually attracted as well. also pheromones make up sexual attraction your body just likes his body's chemicals, looks aren't everything even with sexual attraction.

    the guy I dated is def not gorgeous. his face is above average but he has a bit of a belly and he's definitely not perfect looking. he isn't one that you would think is disgusting looking but he isn't that amazing looking, far from it. but I feel SO attracted to him like my p**** was on fire whenever he kissed me and I was dying to just jump on him I don't know why but it was just like that, although we def had a personal connection maybe that was part of it. although I felt attracted from the minute I saw him, so I guess it is pheromones too

    • I agree with the description you gave in the last paragraph, I can totally relate. And yeah my guy isn't handsome either but he just makes me melt I don't even know how or why. I need to research the topic of pherormones because they def play a role in this! ;)

    • i actually am often not physically attracted to super handsome/hot guys. I am pretty attractive like my female friends will tell me that I look too hot for the guys I like and we are not on an equal level of attractiveness and they want me to like hotter guys lol. but for some reason I just don't usually like really hot guys..i know they are attractive objectively but I don't feel the attraction myself. I am not that looks oriented that he needs to be amazing I just have to like him.

  • I find guys sexually attractive all the time that I don't think are "good looking" in the traditional sense. and it happens all the time.

    I don't think there's anything wrong or weird about it.

    • oh OK, thanks! :)

  • yeah I experienced this too. To me, he just oozed sexual energy and Iwanted so badly to have sex with him, and I felt really weird about it

    • You described exactly how I feel! I literally want to tear his clothes off and I don't even understand why considering I don't find him attractive in terms of physical appearance. I feel bad also because it seems kind of... desperate. Yet it's not like I feel that way about every other guy. I'm very confused. May I ask you, how did you personally handle the situation?

    • most of the time, I ignore it. But one time there was this man that I actually persued, he wasn't attractive at all. But I just had to have him, and I did. I wouldn recommend acting on it, but maybe try to get to know him and see if you could date?

    • I see what you mean. I've ignored it so far too, but it's getting kinda difficult. We're friends, not very close friends. We share similar interests so that's promising. I guess I gotta stop myself from jumping him, that's all! :P

Most Helpful Guys

  • Describe this sexual attraction possible cause? is it the eyes? is he macho vibe? is it his voice? is it the way he walks or stands? is it the slowness in his moves? is it the words he uses and how they make you feel? have you had long conversations with him? Please be specific, this is very interesting for me as I had many girls telling this to me before.

    • Hi there! :) I smiled when I read about the macho vibe because this guy is the opposite. My ex was quite macho. To him money food and sex were the meaning of life. He had no real interests and eventually I realized how limited he was mentally. Sometimes it was like talking to a wall. Sorry if that sounds rude but it's true.

    • This guy loves travelling, books, cinema which I'm also interested in. When we talk I feel we can actually COMMUNICATE as opposed to just having a conversation. If there's smtg I want or don't want to do (even sexually) I'd feel OK telling him. I won't be made to feel like a stupid woman if I ask for cuddles (yes, that's happened before). And I just get the vibe that it could lead to a relationship with some substance.

    • What I find enticing about him: his deep voice, his beautiful hands and his sense of humor. The vibe I get from him is 'intellectual with a twist'. He's well-read but isn't bookish, he's family oriented without being old-fashioned, he's got good manners but can horse around too, he's quite unusual without being eccentric or weird. I feel we could spend a whole day at a bookshop or talking about a classic movie but we could easily also spend a whole day f***ing mindlessly. :)

    • Show All

  • Yes. It is normalish. A person can be sexy without being physically attractive. Sexiness is general how confindent a person is in their skin and how they can make people feel through sight, touch and words. There is no need to feel bad,b ut I'd suggest you don't enter a relationship with this type of guy.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 5

  • It's nothing unusual at all.

    • Thank you for answering, handsomejackk. But don't you think it's disrespectful towards the person? I mean I'm essentially saying he's ugly, unattractive, and that's negative.

    • If you want to bang him, that's all the respect that is necessary.

  • Paradox of the year...

  • Not surprised, guys don't have to be attractive to get girls, if they have money or power they can get any girl and that's the best thing about being a guy.

    You should try to hook up with him since you like him so much.

  • I will admit this seems odd. I doubt you could make it work.

  • Who is the guy you're talking about? I need to give him a shout and find out what his secrete is and is he selling any cause I could certainly use a lot of what ever it is he has.

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