When a guy thinks he has you, he stops putting in the effort he put in at first to get you?

[Anonymous]

Been seeing this guy since April and we've always kept on touch through texts and calls when we have been unable to see each other. (We haven't had sex btw!) But lately he hasn't been texting or calling me very much. At times he won't text even once at all, all day. Which is realllyyy weird. But if I text him he will reply hours later but his texts aren't 'dry' or anything. They're the same as they used to be with smileys and stuff (silly I know). But .., what gives ?!?! Is this normal?- just him being comfortable and thinking he doesn't have to put so much effort in as he has me now? Or is what we have dying?

[Scoopie]

This is really difficult. Sometimes I have days (or parts of days) during which I'm continuously in meetings, and taking work calls on the side, so I don't have time for personal phone calls or texts. This means I'll answer all my texts and call people back after work, preferable when I'm lying down on the couch or in bed. Having said this, I won't initiate contact either, unless it's very important or urgent. But if a girl I like texts me, I'll reply right away. Or just to let her know I'm thinking about her, I'll text her something. I can always find some time during lunch, or when going to get coffee. No matter how busy, there's always a minute for a couple of words.

But you can't also always expect the guy to initiate contact. I would also like the girl sometimes to initiate something, to show me she's thinking of me. It works both ways. I don't want to take her for granted, but she should not think that I'm the one that always has to show her how much I appreciate her. It's 2-way traffic: both partners should show their appreciation of the SO.

Also, when I just begin to see a girl, I sometimes on purpose not contact her for a day or two to see if she will contact me. Just to see if she's also interested, but of course will not do this all the time.

[Anonymous]

Idk, I'd say you're dying but I don't wanna be a pesimist, or he's just been too busy lately or he just needs some time to chill (that happends with me offten like every month or two and lasts for few days).

[divyaaaaa]

perhaps this guy is taking you for granted. like you asked, it probably is true that he's not putting in the same effort because he thinks you're already in love with him, and it would be hard for you to stop loving him at this stage.

perhaps you could drop him hints, like "have you been really busy lately? if there's anything that you need help in, you can tell me." that way, you kill two birds with a stone - you get to know if he's busy, and also show some concern for him.

or, if you have the guts to, treat him like he does to you, but not for too long (a few days perhaps), before the relationship gets sour/stale.

if he attempts to contact you, then it'll be great. if not, don't lose hope - you've already spent a few months talking to him - why give up? drop more hints, but don't appear too needy. if you really have the guts, tell him gently that you feel like he's losing interest in you. (once again, don't appear too needy/clingy/annoying) that should do the trick.

[XRabbitHeartX]

Well exactly what do you mean with "seeing this guy". Relationship? Dating? The type of relationship you're currently in could help determine where he's at right now. If you're not in a relationship and are just sorta in that in between stage then I think he could be losing interest. If things are changing and you're noticing a lack of communication then there's something up unless he's busy so perhaps you should try and talk to him to figure out exactly what the deal is and just hear him out. My only problem is that I feel like when a guy starts to lose interest it will translate in his actions. Yes he may be sounding sweet when he does reply and add smileys (it's not silly btw) but talking to you less often and not making you top priority when in the past you were shows that somewhere something has changed. I don't want to be negative or anything so just clear this up with him to know for sure because if it's bothering you then I think you have every right to want to talk about it.

[Anonymous]

guys definitely put less effort after a while because they know they have her...but if they stop initiating all together that is not a good sign. there should still be an effort on his part, it just may be somewhat less. if he is not making any effort he is letting it die. the fact that he doesn't text or call you at all is not good.