Why do white (American) moms allow their daughters to use tampons, thongs, and makeup at such an early age?

I know this is a huge generalization but I can't deny that I have noticed this trend. When I look at Asian or black 13 year olds they seem so much younger than their white peers, I come from an Asian background and I was not allowed to use tampons and thongs. I wasn't forbidden from makeup but my black friends were, in addition to tampons and thongs. My white friends used tampons as soon as they started their period and they also were allowed to wear thongs. They were allowed to have boyfriends and were put on birth control immediately? Do you think mothers who are minorities are too old-fashioned? Do you think that white moms or any mom who allow these privileges have the right idea? If you were a parent, at what age would you allow those things? Or does it depend on the child and their maturity level?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • both my daughters are teens and wear tampons but it's out of necessity more than anything. they are both active in sports and pads just don't work as well. they really didn't want to wear them but just kind of had to situation, but it's so much easier and less messy and I'm not sure why that's a big deal it's basic hygiene imo.

    Neither of my daughters wear thongs that's just ridiculous. I let them get cute underwear some lace or fun prints, but not overly sexy and imo thongs are overly sexy(and neither of them like them anyway so thankfully that's not an issue)

    I let my daughters wear make up in stages just like my mom did with me. Lip gloss in 6th grade(most of their friends were wearing way more than that believe it or not) Lip gloss and light eye shadow in 7th...that plus alittle bit of blush in 8th. Couldn't wear eye liner till they were in 9th and even then everything is to stay LIGHT and even with like foundation type stuff they only use the mineral powder stuff and that's really light coverage.

    my daughters also seemed much younger than their peers and we're white. Other kids were watching Desperate Housewives in the 6th grade and there were some shows on NickTV that I didn't allow them to watch LOL so they were kinda more naive than the other kids their age for awhile. they've caught up now. You can't keep them babies in a world of grown up teens they had a hard transition in middle school because of my sheltering them. I don't regret it though and they're both good kids and do well in school so I think they were the better for it.

  • I'm Asian and black and my mom didn't allow me to do any of those when I was a teen.

    In asia tampons aren't popular like they are here in the states and some parents fear that young girls aren't responsible enough to avoid TSS so maybe that's why. As for thongs, they're more like sexy underwear so I can see why some parents don't allow it for teens. Makeup is really bad for skin because of all of the chemicals, and that on top of acne prone skin during puberty is not good, so maybe there is some type of reasoning process that goes into it.

    I do think that if a girl has a boyfriend it is probably time to put her on birth control but I don't think thongs, tampons, or makeup are necessary at 13.

  • If I ever have a daughter, I have no issue with her using tampons. What if she wants to go swimming during her time of the month, hmm?

    As for thongs, I don't wear them and I'm 19 and I won't let my daughter wear them either. And I have had a boyfriend for four years and I am not on birth control and we are both virgins.

    I would allow my daughter to wear thongs when she's out of high school. I will never pay for my daughter to go on birth control so she'll either have to pay for that herself or stay a virgin. And tampons? I'll tell her how to use those as soon as her period hits. It's just another option to catch the bleeding.

Most Helpful Guys

  • There's a few factors to this imo:

    1) Feminism has encouraged our parents' generation of white American females (more than any other ethnic group of females), to be less shy and evasive when it comes to sexuality;

    this is where the thongs (empowerment by wearing "cute undies"),

    makeup (looking "beautiful" and "desirable"),

    being put on birth control (sexual empowerment by controlling her own body),

    and tampons (the "penetration factor" not being a big deal of their use),

    came into play.

    2) When it comes to black females, the black woman in the media is highly sexualized (when they're not being implicitly being told they're "undesirable" by mass standards because of all the white females all over the media.

    Therefore, from my personal experience as a black male, I have noticed throughout my lifetime that black parents are more strict about "girlie primping" (makeup, painted nails, beauty treatments like facials) with their teen girls more than white and Latino parents.

    That's why there are so many black teenage girls that have more tomboyish styles; jeans, sneakers, and a cap.

    To a point I don't blame these black parents; they' don't want their children being preyed upon due to the media stereotypes.

  • I am stuck on the tampons part of this. I dated one woman who was totally against tampons -- her mother had scared her to death of TSS, and she would never, ever use them no matter what. She was Hispanic, for whatever that's worth.

    But other than that exception, I don't get why anyone should be worried about girls using tampons. Some girls prefer them, and some even use them most all of the time. Others may use some combination, but like the convenience of tampons and the flexibility regarding swimming and sports. And obviously there are some who don't use tampons, presumably including some who tried tampons and decided against it.

    Finally, I might be missing something here, but how many girls/women are so into the tampon vs. pad question that they know enough girls preference that they make generalizations about what girls use by their ethnicity? In all female environments do sit there and compare notes as to when you were allowed to use tampons?

    • No. QA is stereotyping. Although, it seems girls from overseas are less likely to use tampons, usually because their parents say they could "lose their virginity" from it or some crap. Girls that have been Americanized seem to use tampons more often regardless of race

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I'm a bit old fashioned and I don't agree with this. While I'm not the kind of person that will treat my kids like nuns, I'm definitely going to keep a certain level of control until they hit high school, to which there will still be certain rules, once they hit 18, they will pretty much have full freedom aside from doing something ridiculously stupid like walking out of the house half naked like a stripper.

  • I don't think you should include tampons with thongs and makeup.

    Also, sometimes good parenting is a compromise. Just because a girl is allowed to feel what it's like to wear makeup or underwear (which no one should be seeing at 13) doesn't mean that the parents aren't making sure that their young child isn't living a lifestyle that they aren't mature enough to handle.

  • I don't see how I have the right to forbid them from using tampons or thongs. Its their choice not mine. I hate to dictate how someone else live especially my own children.

  • What's so bad about those things anyway?

    • Nothing in particular its just that some people see them as unsuitable/iappropriate for youngsters. Like shorts skirts, alcohol, staying out passed curfew etc.

  • I don't understand the thongs and makeup (unless the girl has really bad acne and wants to cover it)

    but I don't see the problem with tampons. Pads feel like you are wearing a diaper, and can slip out of place!

  • Thongs and makeup I can understand...

    ...but tampons? Really?

    • Whats wrong with tampons? Girls who play competitive sports basically need tampons. Pads will bot work for them. Also, pads can give off a strong odour and they generally feel unclean. Its similar to sitting in a damp diaper full of blood for hours at a time

    • I think you read my comment in reverse. I do not support thirteen year olds wearing thongs and makeup. Tampons are... kinda a requirement?

    • My bad hahah. I read it as thongs and makeup were totally OK but not tampons so I was like? ? Sorry about that!

  • What's wrong with tampons?

  • Tampons are much better and cleaner so Tampons it would be for my daughters.

  • Well im black and my mom lets me wear thongs and tampons, because there's nothing wrong with them aha They make thongs that are plain and simple not all thongs are sexy

  • I think Asian parents in general are far too strict and harsh on their children. White parents are on track for the most part but a little too lenient on some issues. Black parents are the worst. Look at the prison rates for blacks and the number of teen moms and single moms that are black. I'm boy sure where you're getting your info from, but I don't know ANY 13 year folds on because no matter what race.

    • Because = birth control GAG always changes it

  • No daughter of mine is going to be wearing thongs or receiving birth control at thirteen. Makeup will be allowed, so long as it's reasonable. Boyfriends? Only if they're willing to brave my wrath. She can start dating when she's sixteen.

    For the record, I'm white.

    Tampons might be another issue entirely, but that's something her mother will have to decide. I understand that pads, especially once they've been bled on to some extent, can be quite uncomfortable.