Sexual Health
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What do you think of/How do you deal with friends who are sluts?

I'm a girl, first off. Ignore the blue. I have a good friend. She's one of the nicest girls I know, she's kind, she'll be there for you if you need it and she's a unique person. I don't think badly of her because she has been a good friend to me and I really like her personality. she's funny, only mean when someone is asking for it, and she's really intelligent. That inspires me to be better myself because not only is she doing very well in college and favored by professors, but she's worked for connections and she has done some cool internships. You can just tell she's going places in life. She also volunteers a lot to help a bunch of causes, battered women, she tutors English for children who are learning as a second language, she does a lot. I could go on, I love her. But she is a huge slut! I don't even believe how crazy she is sometimes. We were at a party last weekend, and she was dancing really inappropriately with a guy she knows has a girlfriend. I asked her why she was messing with him, she said he kept coming onto her, he's hot, and she can't control his relationship and clearly he doesn't feel that strongly about her if he's putting his hands on my friend in public like that. she went pretty far. at one point she was in a corner sitting on top of him with her skirt up, you could see her butt and she had her top on but her bra was off, so he could reach up her shirt. what the hell! She didn't have sex with him, but she might as well. that's worse, now people who know his poor girlfriend know that he publicly humiliated her with another woman and my close friend is that woman. this isn't the first time I've seen her in action though. She has had sex with peoples boyfriends or given them blow jobs before, single guys, she had an affair with a married guy the summer before last. Its like...Idk. How would you feel ? What would you do? I've talked to her about it, and its like nothing gets through to her. She doesn't agree with my views. I'm like, its not a view, you are a slut. And not many guys take her seriously if they know she gets around. I just don't understand, doesn't she want better for herself or what?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Your friend sounds like me. lol I'm pretty much the exact same way, except I like girls too. One of my friends actually got some girls from school to stage an intervention for me, if you can believe that. The whole time I kept thinking, since when did you ever fall under the impression that you have any say in how adults behave themselves? And how can you tell me what is best for me and my "emotional state" ? I wasn't surprised by the girls helping with the intervention, but I was surprised by my "friend." Knowing who I am and how much I analyze everything about my life, it's incredibly unlikely that she forgot our conversations about this topic. So instead, you thought you would try to bully me into believing in and living by your morals? I'm sorry, it doesn't work that way. Now get the f*** out of my dorm. I was way annoyed.

    I respect myself plenty. being promiscuous, having a high sex drive, and being a bit crazy doesn't inherently mean I lack self respect. In all the ways that its most obvious, meaning how I allow people to treat me in friendships, relationships, how I express myself and speak up for myself and stand up for what I believe in, it is quite clear to everyone that I respect myself and my feelings. Now, whether or not I respect the boundaries of your relationship is another story. The only question arises from those who intertwine their understanding of sex into your worth as a person, and lack the intelligence and depth it takes to come up with a more sufficient explanation than "well, she doesn't respect herself." It doesn't faze me anymore though. I realized a long time ago that people have their prejudices about you and that's life, and if you're a promiscuous woman, expect that to be a serious issue with anyone who knows how you get around. C'est la vie.

    I always just try to understand the motives and the psychological background behind my friends decisions. I open the window for conversation and understanding, and I appreciate when people treat me the same way instead of imposing their assumptions and morals. I get that not everyone has the character it takes to do this, which is why I was disappointed in the friend I mentioned above. Nonetheless, this is how I deal with any of my friends, and maybe something to consider for your friend. Why does she do the things she does? If she doesn't have serious emotional problems and just loves being wild and having sex, like me, then that's one story. She could have other issues. Some promiscuous people do. All people do, really. But most of all, just be a good friend. And that means accepting your differences, if you think theyre worth overlooking and if you think the friendship is worth that. If you have a hard time moving beyond this, maybe this isn't the friendship for you. I know I don't deserve friends like that, who have an issue respecting me because of something like this. I appreciate the friends I have who aren't hung up on my promiscuity. Its your call though.

    • she should be admired, she is a very selfless person and helps the community in many ways , one she volunteers helping battered women 2 she helps children learn English, and 3 she volunteers affection and orgasms to men who really need it . more women should be like that. lol

  • Your friend sounds like a nice person up until you mentioned the slutty part. I understand why you feel uncomfortable. Here is why I could not be friends with a girl like this: I could not trust her around any guy that I cared about. Whether that guy is my brother, my dad, an uncle, cousin, or even a friend, I wouldn't want a girl like that for him, just like no girl would want a player for their best friend or sister. I especially couldn't trust this woman near my boyfriend because if she wanted him enough, she would make a move. She does not seem to have any respect for herself or the relationships of others, and this would not allow me to trust her. This is my personal opinion, and I don't want to upset anybody. I just would never conduct myself like that because of my morals, and I couldn't be friends with someone who's morals were so different from my own. I would distance myself from a person like this.

  • Don't worry about it. It's not your place to tell her what to do sexually.

    It's probably a phase that she will grow out of. I know married women who went through a "slut" phase.

    Look, just be her friend and if you don't like the way she is in clubs and bars don't go to those places with her.

    • It sounds like it's not fun for you to be with her at clubs because she is embarrassing you or something. Just don't go with her to these places and then it won't be a problem.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I have a female friend that is a complete and utter slut. We're talking total whore. She has the absolute worst taste in men and ends up falling for players every time. She's slept with 11 guys in the last four months, or at least those are the ones she's told me about. I like her as a person and she's friendly enough, but the girl has no brains when it comes to picking men. I have no problem with a girl having a high sex drive, but she should bestow it on a loyal and caring man. I have a hard time respecting my friend because she lacks such sound judgement. I fear she is going to end up with an STD one of these days or a condom is going to break and she's going to end up pregnant.

  • I'm a slut. At my peak, I've slept with 5 different people in a month. I have many friends, and while some of them judge me, none of them intervene because they know that the value of my friendship has nothing to do with my sex life.

    Your friend is not sleeping with you or your boyfriend. She is a good friend to you who just happens to enjoy life a little differently. You need to get over your own prejudices and appreciate the friendship you do have. Great friends are hard enough to find without you getting in your own way.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 4

  • I don't view them as bad ppl.I'll be friends with a promiscuous person

  • If I knew the girl did that, I would probably be turned off by her immediately. Being comfortable with your body is one thing, ie. I wouldn't care if she went skinny dipping or something one night but if it's at the point where she'll basically suck and f*** any random guy, the girl has no respect for herself. I just want a loyal girl, and how would I be able to trust someone like that.

    • Let me add, that I answered the question in the instance of whether I were attracted too, but simply if it was a friend of mine, I would probably say she could live the life she wants, and f*** whomever, wherever, and however. Would I want to be involved with someone like that though long term? Hell no.

  • like any other friend I have...they are not mutants.. lol

  • I think that's good, not only she's having fun, bit its good thing she is smart, helps the community. and because unlike other women who are shallow whores who resort to withholding sex, because 'that's the only thing they are good for. Not your friend she is good at a lot of things, and sexually open minded

    Besides I don't understand the need for some people to judge women as if they had to be saints, I mean they get horny too.

    There are many guys who will still date her.

  • i love sluts... they are the best girls out there...at least the average guy had a good chance with a slut... I wish more girls were like this...long live sluts...

    • Until you get an STD from her sleeping around, yea.

    • nope I'm careful...not stupid...

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