Sexual Health
+1 y

I feel like I'm spiraling out of control... What's going on with me?

Im a good girl...or I thought I was but I seem to be making really poor decisions. Im a straight A student and I always have been. I'm in the top five percent of my class. I'm the nurturing friend, always giving advice and listening. I'm on the congressmans youth council spreading awareness on bullying, teen violence, dating violence, and sex trafficking. I take care of my dog and the neighbors dogs. I change my mothers bandage as well as pack the wound from her surgery. I go to church... But lately I've found myself becoming...i don't even know the word. I've been getting on dating sites and talking to random men...and women ( I'm not dumb enough to send naked pictures, use my real name, Skype, or stuff like that) about stuff I really shouldn't. I'm masturbating now every night...I'm looking at hardcore p*rn... I feel like I'm spiraling out of control... Random facts about me and my background: Moms a single parent that has recently stopped doing drugs. Sister just had a baby and its kinda my baby too with as much as I have to watch him. I'm in the orchestra. I'm overweight I tutor I dogsit Two of my uncles passed last year My aunt is an alcoholic I don't do drugs, smoke, or drink I'm sensitive I was briefly bullied in middle school I live in poverty My mom is never home and regrets having kids because she has to work to support us. I want to be a veterinarian I know most of these are irrelevant, but its what I thought of...
Updates:
+1 y
By spiraling out of control I mean that I feel like I'm heading in the direction of getting harmed reputation wise by doing these acts and I'm trying to be cautious but I feel myself throwing caution to the wind eith the chat sites.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • It sounds like you are using sex as an escape. To some degree, that's okay, and it's normal to feel sexual and to explore your sexuality. It's also natural to want an escape from all the stresses going on in your life. High school is a tough time for a lot of people, and you have a lot going on, and a lot of stress.

    So far, nothing that you've done is really a problem, BUT, if you continue to talk to guys online, you're going to be pressured into meeting them (and often that pressure will come in the form of you WANTING to meet them, and them encouraging you to do so in a positive way), and THAT does have some potential to go bad. You have to be really, really careful about that.

    Watching p*rn is fine, and masturbating is fine. As long as you can do the rest of what you need to do (and it sounds like you can), then masturbate all you like. You don't need to tell anyone, but there's nothing wrong with it either. It's just something that, especially while in high school, where your "reputation" is a bigger deal, you should keep to yourself. Once you're out of high school, no one is going to care.

    I will just say this: your mom has struggled, and your sister is perhaps struggling. It sounds like you're a smart girl, so know that you can do better for yourself than they've done. Go to college, work hard, and be a success, and soon you'll even be able to give your family a hand up too. Don't worry too much about this stuff, just don't let it go further than you're ready for.

  • Dude your just fine no worries! :) If anything you are completely normal. I have a very similar background maybe not as politically involved but I was captain of the hs varsity wrestling team, mediation team (mediating student fights), choir and was a very good son. I probably masturbated like twice or THRICE/ day! LoL!... if I had access to sites like that I'd have all kinds of fake profiles to live out. ;) I am still a good, very happy human being who has lived a rich and enlightened life full of love. Not to mention the fact that scientist have masturbating to be the MOST rewarding stimulative action we can give our brains so in their own words... "it can't be bad for you". Just have fun and learn from everything you do or see. Lifes way short! YOLO!

Most Helpful Girls

  • get off those sites and get out and find yourself a boyfriend(or girlfriend whatever you think you need). it sounds like you are lacking companionship from someone and a deep emotional connection. it's hard to be everybody's everything and not get anything back. make connections in the real world and make some time for yourself to let loose alittle in a way that doesn't make you feel bad about what you're doing.

  • I don't know why people are saying you're fine. Obviously you aren't because you feel like you're spiraling out of control. You feel some type of shame or resentment for a reason. Find out what that is and try to change or control it. You seem like a pretty good girl to me, just keep working on your goals and don't let things distract you from it. You deserve to be happy.

    • I'd have to disagree. It's new to her and she thinks it's wrong, it's perfectly normal and safe. As soon as she realizes that she will no longer feel that way.

    • What's wrong? She mentioned a lot of things here. If she doesn't feel good about herself then there is something wrong, and she needs to figure that out. She said herself that she feels like her life is spiraling out of control. You can disagree all you want but obviously this girl isn't fine. She said it herself and she is the best judge of what does and doesn't feel good for herself.

  • As long as you're safe and not revealing who you are (putting yourself in danger) then there is no harm. Masturbate your heart out, it's better than having sex and getting your heart broken. No diseases either!

    Just wash your hands after! :) Teehee

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 4

  • As long as your not shutting yourself away from social interaction and your not putting yourself in physical danger then your good. Look, going on these sites are probably just a way to stimulate a need to find out what you like and what turns you on. Also it helps to build social skills needed in the dating scene like flirting, dirty talk, complimenting etc... don't be so hard on yourself. You sound like an awesome girl with a bright future! Have as much fun as you can... responsibly. ;)

  • You're going through a normal phase. Everyone grows curious about things, and explore online things. Talking to people is all good. Masturbation is good as well. It isn't anything to be ashamed of. Maybe later on if you need someone to talk to you can hit me up, or someone else on this site.

  • your fine. your just getting older and exploring sexuality. but tone it down on the p*rn. how hard core are you talking here?

  • So if you look at p*rn, masturbate and talk with people on dating sites you are no longer a "good girl"?

    For me a good girl smiles or otherwise spread happiness to others. They are honest and take into consideration other peoples feelings so they don't hurt them. They are also friendly and helpful.

    Nothing more nothing less. Feel free to masturbate to your hearts desire.

    • *Update* Use the internet as your shield. Its easy enough to separate who you are on the internet and in reality. Do not have anything that steps over the line into the other and you are free to use the internet to blow off steam, frustration and most importantly of all desire.

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