Intimacy with my boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

I'm not really sure what to do. I'm considering breaking up with him. My boyfriend doesn't have a very high sex drive while I do. We only have sex when he wants to have sex which is usually the morning or when he's horny. I will beg him other times to have sex with me or make moves and he just says he's not in the mood or turns me down making me feel like sh*t. His argument is that we have sex plenty. Usually once a day or every other day and that should be enough. That guys can't have sex as much as girls. I'm Just tired of feeling like he doesn't like me or attracted to me. I ask him what turns him on and he says he doesn't really know. I tell him that other guys I've been with knew exactly what turned them on. He says nothing specifically really. A lot of different things. The other day he was super horny and wanted it all day and lately I have to beg to get it from him. He says I'm too clingy and just want sec or affection 24/7 and it annoys him. He didn't used to be like this. I try to give him blow jobs or little favors for him sexually and he just turns it down. He tells me not to take it personally, but I have yet to be with a guy who turns down sex whenever I want it. It makes me feel like he doesn't find me attractive. Every time we have sex he cums but its only if we do doggy style. That's all he ever wants to do. And he used to be vocal and talk and now he doesn't say anything. I asked if he was bored and he said no. Its almost like a chore for me to get him to have sex with me. I asked him last night if he would go down on me and he said no because we already had sex and he wasn't in the mood. I thought boyfriends were supposed to try and please their girlfriend. Its called compromise. I do things that he doesn't like. And last night We Were kissing and he said I didn't know what I was doing. I got upset and started to cry and he said he was just joking. That I'm blowing everything out of proportion and need to stop worrying. That he wouldn't be with me if he didn't like me or wasn't attracted to me. I can't help like feeling things are different. He used to take me out a lot and have sex w me a lot. Now he just says no and wants to stay home and play video games or watch movies. He loves cuddling but I need more then that. He's a sweet guy and I care a lot for him, but when I try to communicate w him he just ignores me or doesn't say much then says I'm being dramatic. It really hurts.

[G_GTom]

Every day is probably too much for me as well. Every other is probably okay. This is why I've always believed that a compatible libido is important for relationship.

Whenever something is pushed upon you or you are inundated with something, you tend not to not want it or push it away. Desire is something that cannot be forced.

You're probably going to have ease up on the amount of sex and let him recoup naturally to see where is level of desire is. Keep in mind, a slow down is not unusual as the relationship progresses. I don't believe this is a reflection on how he feels about you.

[Anonymous]

I've seen enough relationships ruined due to incompatible libido to tell you it's a major concern, you should talk to him about your worries. Anyway, it looks like he doesn't enjoy sex that much. What does he think about just make out without intervourse ?

[Asker]

He says he does. He cums every time we have sex. He just rarely initiates it. I just want someone who grabs me and takes total control. He doesn't do that and it makes me feel unwanted. My ex boyfriend used to do that all the time.

[jellyroo]

All people are different. You can't force your Sex drive onto someone. Imagine if the roles were reversed and you really didn't want to have sex and he was constantly pressuring you to? It's not a nice feeling. Have some empathy for fuck's sake, put yourself in his shoes. And if you really can't stand it, he's probably not the guy for you.

[mohit0094arora]

I have the same feeling with my girlfriend. Nearly in the same place as you. But I have sex anyway, rugged, forcibly, give her a lot pleasure, stops in between, ask for my pleasure and then fuck her until she gets tired. Works like a charm.

In short,
Look sexy.
Rock his worlds.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the female counterpart to "men are shallow pigs and only really care about one thing".

[Asker]

What do you mean? I do know that he is not very experienced. He's only been w a few girls while I have been with 34 guys including him. So maybe he feels uncomfortable about it.

[Opinion Owner]

Apologies to you, QA. Nothing wrong at all with what you wrote, in and of itself. I just see so many comments, here and elsewhere, about men being shallow and single minded about sex, I felt it important to point out that it's not just men.