What do I do if I'm a hot horny good girl? It's really confusing & torture!

[Anonymous]

So I've been single for the last 2 years and I've never been one to sleep around.. I really like being in a relationship.. Here's the thing, all the hot guys that I date pretty much beg to sleep with me but none of them want a relationship for one reason or another (it's the age I'm at.. guys in their mid-late 20's are commitment phobic). I have intense sexual chemistry with these guys and super passionate kisses. Par of me REALLY wants to sleep with them too and I am getting so sick of saying no but I don't want to so that I can feel safe in sleeping with a guy and having lots of passionate sex and 4play.. but none of the alfa guys want that (less guys would chaise after me if I was easy) and I don't know I might get hurt? I sort of want to rush into a relationship (most guys take months of dating to be ready to be exclusive and I don't want to wait that long for sex) .. what do I do? I've tried sex buddies but there's less passion and w/o the passion I find the sex to be boring...

[MrOracle]

Sure, those alpha guys are attractive, but they're not just attractive to YOU, but to lots of girls, and they know it, so most of them aren't going to give up other girls for you. It's too easy to get them, and there's too much temptation for them to say "no." That's why they don't want relationships.

The problem is that you keep fishing in the same bucket, and are surprised that you keep pulling in the same fish. If you want a "relationship guy", you need to fish elsewhere, and that's going to mean giving some non-alpha guys a chance.

The other two choices are: be FWB with the attractive alpha guys, and accept that they're going to be sleeping around, or remain sexually frustrated like you are. IMO, neither of these is a good solution, but they ARE choices.

Finding a guy who is interested in a relationship is going to give you much better results in the long run, though. You're just going to have to deal with the fact that they aren't going to be the alpha-type with the perfect bodies and "dangerous" personalities that younger girls find so attractive.

[nate18]

i have no sympathy for you. do you look at who your going after? but none of the ALPHA guys want that (less guys would chaise after me if I was easy)

your going after douche bags for the most part. lower your standards a bit and you'll find better guys. too many people think they are prime and should be held up on some pedestal when in reality they are average or maybe just a bit above. the're tons of nice guys looking for a great girlfriend but since you like the guys that just wanna fuk and chuck you have no luck. broaden your horizons and you'll find better guys. I used to be one of those guys and not that those guys are worse looking or anything they just don't always get out much or can be mistaken for losers. usually its the guys that you talk to on a daily basis that you could never think of liking that are the nice guys, the ones that listen to you complain about how lonely you are or how much of an ass hole that guy was.

[Asker]

I've done that before.. I ended up getting board out of my mind and breaking the poor guys heart, I don't want to hurt someone or get hurt ... I'm actually very naturally attractive not one of those so so girls.. The guys come after me.. Most of the hot guys I date aren't as good looking as I am but I'm not so... Shallow..I like a natural attractive guy.. They seem like they want a relationship but really they're just trying to win me over..I go for the hot corky guy.. Not the bar hopping pig..

[nate18]

well...im not trying to be rude with my answer. I just don't sugar coat things. if you are as good looking as you think you are and lots of guys are approaching you then that's your biggest problem. most guys with enough balls to go up to you are gonna be a**holes, they do it all the time and are used to rejection and talking to attractive girls and know what to say. try initiating contact with the guy staring at you but not bold enough to come over and talk to you.

[nate18]

those guys are more humble and will probably be nicer and more for what your looking for and some of them still are good or decent looking and kinda dorky. that's more like me, I'm not that attractive, people usually rate me a 6/10. I rate myself a 5/10, I don't really approach women unless I'm out having fun with friends, and then its usually just for laughs. most times ill stare at a girl, smile or wink and hope she's got more balls than I do lol. very rarely do I approach a girl outside a bar.

[Asker]

I don't want to be held on a pedestal! By the look of me people often think that's what I want (very pretty, classy, fresh faced) & are surprised that I am so down to earth. Then when they know I'm excepting, like them and am down to earth they get relaxed and try to rush for sex but want to keep dating and not move forward and know I want things to progress even if I don't say it.. Why do guys take so long to want a relationship?

[nate18]

because we don't want a relationship at all! we just want to get laid, and banging a good looking girl is a bonus. orr we don't want a relationship that's lovey and we don't want sex, we just want to be friends. which is even more rare.

[Asker]

lol That was my ex boyfriend.. he was adorable, but was to shy to initiate.. I'm sassy and I'm not afraid to make it easier for a shy guy to ask me out.. I'm really easy to talk to.. I honestly don't know why I'm single lol it's really frustrating because I am what most people are looking for in a girlfriend.. I've just been in a few relationships so I'm not that patient and want a relationship to be established faster

[nate18]

if you want you can just add me and chat. that would be easier lol.

[nate18]

personally I'm 98% positive that ill never find the girl I'm looking for with hall of the traits that I'm looking for in a woman. get a pen and paper out for a second and draw a triangle. on the top write "sexy" on the left write " smart" and on the right, write "rich" in the middle write " my man" now pick only two of these. you can't have all three, only two. if you don't like the choices you can put any choices you want but keep it realistic.

[Asker]

I can easily get all 3.. but it would be out of a guy who's in his 30's (when their mother starts to pressure them) or outside my families religion and I am not really that comfortable being with a guy who is 5+ years older.. When an alfa does settel.. It's with someone like me.. My guy and girl friends always pay attention to who I date because they have high standards for me.. There's expectations from many people that I will end up with a guy who has it all and appreciates me.. B/C I'm all 3 lol

[nate18]

you sound too sure of yourself. id like some pics for proof lol. and stop letting your friends pick your boyfriend for you. chances are they will always tell you somebody isn't good enough even if they are out of jealousy. lots of girls like to compete with their friends about who has the better boyfriend. even your friend can't know what's best for you and what you like best and if you can do better or not. they can to some extent but not much.

[Asker]

That's the thing.. It's my platonic guy friends who are the most judgmental... I don't think I'm drop dead and I don't know why guys gravitate me me but they do.. I look somewhat innocent with big dark and deep flirtatious eyes.. I don't know a few of my ex's think I look like a cross between Emma Watson and a young Denise Richards?

[nate18]

i don't know those actresses lol. not by face anyways. guys gravitate to you because your maybe above average, and that's just what guys do.

[Anonymous]

I'm kind of like that. I've always played by the rules. I'm 21, haven't even had a first kiss or a boyfriend. But the past couple years have been rough on me as far as sexual urges go.

[regenderate]

Keep looking, I'm sure you'll find a guy who's into commitment.

[smallguy]

Old? WHo you? I think ou just hangin garound with the wrong guys at the wrong places

[mischiefmouth69]

I for one would prefer a passionate "friends with benefits" relationship ... sometimes the idea of just getting off together is fine, but if there's not something behind it, some level of real connection and closeness and caring about each other -- not that it means it has to be an exclusive relationship with a long-term plan -- why not just masturbate?

[Dragan]

It is always difficult to find the right guy, it is equally difficult to find the right girl. Relationship is always better for me. I understand you. What will you do, it's up to you.

[jurgenmeister]

Being horny and/or having sex doesn't mean you're not a good girl, you're young you should try it just be safe!