Sexual Health
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Girls, do you think many guys don't get laid because they simply don't ask?

Now first of all, I'm typically not one for ONS, FWB's, or anything else of the sort. I'm sort of a relationship only type of guy. So this question is partially just out of curiosity. It seems in my observation, that you always notice the guys who are always hooking up with different girls aren't exactly what I would consider the Channing Tantums of their generation. These are average guys in both looks and personality. I've started to wonder if these guys, or any other for that matter, who has a fairly active sex life, does so because they're simply not afraid to ask. It's nothing new that aside from a select group of girls, most girls are too shy to initiate anything romantically, whether that be for date or sex. Many times due to the stigma that a girl who does this is either desperate or a slut. I'm also aware that women generally have just as high a sex drive as men. This makes me wonder if there are quite a few women, if not most, who are more than willing to have sex at any given point in time (ok...most of the time) with just about any half good looking guy who asks, just no guy ever takes the initiative to hook up with her so instead she sits quietly in the corner fantasizing. So if I hear about a guy hooking up with some girl randomly at a party or something, is it likely that she was looking to get laid the entire time, and he just happened to be the only guy with the balls to ask? Another way to put this is, are the guys who are getting laid more regularly (outside of a relationship) doing so simply because they have the audacity to essentially manipulate his way into a girls pants, as opposed to a guy like me who feels like a complete scum bag if I have to be too aggressive about getting a girl into bed? *I realize there are a 101 factors that can go into a decision to sleep with someone, besides this, so I'm speaking in generalities. Clearly if a guy is ugly or a complete a**hole, no amount of initiate will make you want to sleep with him. Try to look past the obvious.
True, more guys would get laid if they simply asked and took initiative.
Vote A
False, there is more to it than simply having the balls to ask.
Vote B
Not sure.
Vote C
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0 1

Most Helpful Girls

  • The impression I get is that many guys (of course not all, but what appears to be a fair amount) complain about being single or not getting sex, but at the same time aren't willing to really put themselves out there and try hard to find someone. It seems like some guys find it unfair that they have to work to get girls, but the fact is, nobody gets what they want without trying. Girls have to work to get guys as well, even if they aren't expected to take the formal initiative, and that's something a lot of people don't acknowledge. Anyone who wants to date or have sex has to make an effort. Long story short, yes, I think if guys who are forward about what they want probably have better luck.

    However, obviously not every girl is interested in casual sex. So if that's what you want, part of the equation IS to find and ask the right girls. But that is something that will always be a factor, and it's just another reason why it's important to get out there and try a lot of people. Nobody can avoid that problem.

    • your preaching to the choir but I'm speaking about just casual sex.

    • It's not so different, plus, I actually did discuss it if you read my entire answer.

  • Yeah, most of my guy friends who are manwhores are pretty average looking. I have some uber nerdy friends, and apparently there is manwhoring amongst them , too. They might be plowing nerdy girls, but they're getting theirs.

    Guys who are good with women talk to girls like real people, not bouncing back and forth between acting like their trash or goddesses. I don't think it even has to take manipulation... Fun and playfulness goes a lot farther than being whiny or pushy or aggressive.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Feminism has ensured that asking for sex is the best way to lose your career, job, education, self-esteem, public image, money and manhood. With the intensified emphasis on sexual harassment and women's rights, asking women for it, even women you've known well, is just a bad idea. In addition, women just don't date/screw/marry just anyone. Guess what? 90% of all the men in the world are Mr Just Anyone. Which means there is far more to it than just having the personality and confidence to ask a woman for it. Otherwise more men of all types would be getting it.

    Reality being what it is...

    • That was the same (maybe even worse) before feminism.

    • this very true and its why I'm slightly hesitant to be really forward with a women. especially about sex. its like playing russian roulette. the consequences of making a wrong guess can be disastrous.

  • You're correct sir.

    You miss 100% of the shots you don't take - and when it comes to women, if you don't ask, you don't get.

    I ask, so I get. (Sometimes.)

    The fact that I ask a lot, only means that I've managed to hone my approach over the years to a more successful than average one.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 2

  • i think it only make sense that if you asked more women to have sex with them you'd have more sex just based on the odds that at least one say yes every now and then . however nothing is guaranteed and its easier to get rejected than get laid

  • The problem is much more than men not asking! This excellent video from Hooking Up Smart. Com exposes just how serious the problem of not getting laid has become! It's based on today's college environment, but the issues extend into the general population as well.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESYK8fCEHUQ

  • Not sure

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