My 55 year neighbor ended up having sex with me

[Anonymous]

I have a great body and am pretty hot according to guys. My parents were out and I was by the pool with a guy friend of mine. We had drunk a little. This guy is like a gay friend but isn't haha, and I would never hook up with him. My neighbor came over and brought drinks, complimented me and gave my friend a hard time. We got a little drunk and my neighbor told my friend that he had to tell me something. He said he was horny and started feeling me up and kissing me. I was resisting but then was turned on. He was really dirty and rough but I liked it a lot. Is this wrong of me?

[Simple-Simonette]

You know, this is weird for me. I'm an advocate for a freer sexual society - but something about this scenario just strikes me wrong. Maybe it's the way it's worded, or the way you are portraying the situation - but it doesn't feel right to me.

I've dated and slept with older men. I've had one night stands with older men, so maybe it's because he's your neighbor that it bothers me. It seems disrespectful to your parents that he would seduce their daughter. I understand it was consensual, but would you have seduced him if he never made a move? I don't think you were coerced or conned into it - but it just doesn't seem right that he came over, made an excuse to your friend to get you alone and had dirty sex with you ... you enjoyed it, but I think it would have been more respectful to YOU if he was clear about his intentions before jumping your bones. It feels dishonest to me - like he took advantage of you. I can't be specific about why, but I don't like it. Just my gut feeling.

I don't think you did anything wrong, I just don't like the way you described his behavior ... but I don't know the history between you two either.

[Anonymous]

You guys including me will all better answer this question when we turn 55 and become drunk and horny and we see an 18-24 year old guy/gal and flirted maybe our answers will change a bit. But really its not wrong and its not right either is a personal choice but if it bugs you and feel like not doing it again just see it like you just dared yourself if you can have sex with a guy more than double your age and you made it :D

[piinkprincess]

there is nothing wrong with you. trust me once ur turned on obviously its hard to resist. and plus if you think it was a mistake okay so you learn from it you know. it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. if ur drunk and get horny you probably even f*** an ugly guy hitting on you because its the sensation.

[Anonymous]

Well what part are you asking about? The fact that you like rough sex? Or the part that you let a 55 year old guy take advantage of you? This guy is wrong he's a sick character. Obviously you are also a bit easy but hey some girls are ok with being easy. As for liking rough sex that's totally cool. Lots of people like it rough and dirty. Your gay but not gay friend got one upped by a 55 year old pervert. Need I say more? I hope he realizes that he needs to get a life and not hang out with you. You aren't very respectful of your opinion of him...

[Anonymous]

Can't tell if you are really serious, or if you are just being funny here. If serious, I would say it was a serious mistake...not so much from the age point...you didn't say your age, but the circumstances...drinking, and him being "dirty and rough"... A lot of younger women date and marry older men for different reasons...usually for $$$$$$$$$$$$ and a lot of it.

We all make choices, but this sounds to me like maybe a bad one on your part.

[jusabarasida]

daaayyymmm pimpin

[thelittlethings]

Your at least 18. You're an adult. Do whatever you feel comfortable with. You're old enough to make your own decisions.

[EmberlyMai]

If it's safe and consensual, it's fine.

I don't recommend sex while drunk, but that's up to you.

[gravygirl]

Nah. If this really happened, it's fine. Some people might be bugged by it, but you're both adults, so who cares?

[regular-guy]

Is this wrong? -- Yes. Unequivocally it is wrong.

[Littletad]

This.

[tonya_n_ark]

you're old enough to have some sexual encounters. have fin with it. I wouldn't recommend looking at the dudes backside, though! if anything like I would expect from a mid-fifties guy...eeeewwwwww. :P

[Takkunlee]

What ever floats your boat.

[dave216]

This is private activity involving legal adults. No it is not wrong. Your sexual activities are never wrong as long as they are legal and cause no harm too others. And even if they were wrong they are still private so nobody will know anyway.

[gabbsv586]

i still haven't seen a 55 year old man that's hot...but whatever! it was your choice!

[PeopleLie]

tons of them exist in hollywood

[needaglassawata]

no it sounds hot.

[l-hedoniste]

"This guy is like a gay friend but isn't haha, and I would never hook up with him."

Note to dudes: you never, ever, want to be this guy.

P.S.: If you like the sex a lot, it's usually a good idea, so don't worry about it.

[HaggardDiva]

Hahahahahahaha The note to dudes was hilarious!!

[l-hedoniste]

I look for these guys when I'm out.

[Sinfulldeeds]

Lol thanks for the advice

[lefthand]

No. It isn't wrong of you. You can enjoy sex anyway you like.

It was wrong of him because drunk people can't give consent. It is deeply unethical to get someone drunk to lower their inhibitions.

If you found it exciting, find another older more experienced man to enjoy. This one is likely to cause you trouble.

[smith2267]

" It is deeply unethical to get someone drunk to lower their inhibitions." Did he pour it down her throat? No. She decided to drink it, and she's responsible for what she does afterward.

[lefthand]

Legally, you're wrong. A drunk person cannot consent to having sex. Ethically, giving someone a substance for the purpose of having sex with them under it's influence is violating their right to consent. Remind me not to let my girlfriends drink with you.

[smith2267]

I know about the law, but the law is wrong. If you can't be held responsible for deciding to have sex while drunk, how can you be held responsible for deciding to drive a car while drunk?

[HaggardDiva]

Well, when she resisted at first, he should have let it go then, but she ended up liking it even after she got sober, so that sort of makes it not as bad, I don't know, obviously it's complicated. But being drunk does NOT give someone else the right to take advantage of you, whether you got the drinks yourself or they gave them to you. I'm not a fan of a lot of stupid laws, but this one is NOT wrong. Besides, there are these little things called morals and ethics that should stop person anyways.

[Camilus]

When you are drunk you are still responsible for your actions. With that said, I'd love for you to show us the law that a drunk person cannot consent to sex. I want to know where the law says it is statutory rape if you have sex with a person that drank more than 2 or 3 beers.

[lefthand]

https://www.counseling.ilstu.edu/SexualAssaultPrevention/programs/educational/consensual.shtml You are responsible for your actions but you cannot legally consent to having sex. fwiw, statutory rape is having sex with someone not of the age of consent (even if they were willing). You can't legal engage in contract formation, have sex or consent to medical procedures while under the influence.

[dave216]

What am I missing here? She says she and her friend were drinking, then the neighbor arrived and brought more drinks, they all got "A LITTLE" drunk. From where does this impication that he got her drunk in order to have sex arise. She didn't say the neighbor stayed sober but got me drunk. She said we got a little drunk. They had a couple drinks and had a good time. I don't see the problem.

[Camilus]

Well it looks like Illinois has some stupid ass laws. Here in Florida it's only rape if you get them intoxicated without their consent (like putting roofies in their drink), but you can't be thrown in jail with a felony just because your date had one too many drinks and then decided to cry rape - https://www.leg.state.fl.us/STATUTES/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&URL=Ch0794/ch0794.htm (section 794.011 subsection 1c)

[smith2267]

Dave, that's the bitch of this law. Since most people use alcohol as a social lubricant, it gives carte blanche to almost any girl with morning after regrets to cry "rape", just because they met at a bar or a cocktail party and she had a martini

[lefthand]

You worry me. I personally will not play with someone who has been drinking simply because I don't want anyone having any regrets (something that is really common when people combine sex and alcohol).

[smith2267]

I shouldn't worry you. The truth is I have never tried to get anyone drunk in order to have sex. I know this may be hard for you to believe, but I actually think about things like social equality and injustice, even when the specifics of the situation have no bearing on me. Yes, these laws concern me, not because I go out and get women drunk to have sex, but because I see the opportunity for injustice in them. I'm sorry if you just can't believe that.

[smith2267]

You are committing what is called in psychoilogy, the fundamental attribution error. This means thinking a person's actions or words are indicative of some fundamental personality trait. Just like when I posted a quaestion about age of consent laws, and in the minds of a dozen people, I was automatically branded a child molester. Their little minds can't fathom that I might actually be concerned about an issue without some hidden motive. My mind races all the time, I think about....

[smith2267]

...think about politics, social issues, and all sorts of issues that have nothing to do with me. Frankly, I can't fathom people who don't think about these things.

[lefthand]

I think the subject does need to be examined. I also think someone who is feeding someone else intoxicants to sway their judgment is using the substance to manipulate the situation. As a result, the person winds up losing the judgment they need to make a more consistent choice. I don't think that everyone does this deliberately. My statement is about those who do. I believe the man in the OP is one of those.

[brettb]

I know I'm 5 months late on this but let me say something. smith, ur held responsible for driving drunk because ur putting other peoples lives in danger. She resisted at 1ST! that's rape. I'm sure if a guy you sort of knew came up and started to rub ur clit or rub ur dick, ull get turned on too. If you don't give consent. that's rape. Yea she was responciible for her actions, but the goven. made laws to give breaks if ur drunk because you can't think properly. EX. is getting ur marriage anulled.

[Camilus]

I don't understand how this is wrong or even abnormal? Two adults drank alcohol and then f***ed next to a pool right? ...and?

[smith2267]

She's worried about the age difference....

[smith2267]

Some people have this notion that a big age difference is immoral. I have no idea why.

[Camilus]

Smith2267 those people have a notion that it's immoral because they are jerkoffs who think they are holier-than-thou. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and most of them stink

[CherryBomb32]

Wrong...No...hot...YES...!

Its bad and that's why its good...!

You go you dirrrty girl...Woooooooooo...!

[cheerchick0221]

that's disgusting.. I don't know what you would want out of an old man...

[Littletad]

Wong of you? No, it's just pretty disgusting. But it's your choice. I would never date someone who had the sense to screw with an almost 60 year old man.

[Blankname1]

There is noting wrong with u.Everyone has there own taste and ,so do u.Age is just a number(As long as it's legal).

I'm out!

[itsweird182]

That is kind of gross, but I'm sure the guy liked it. haha. Try to only sleep with guys around your age!

[1FastFC]

That is soooo wrong. damn that's nasty

[JustDance]

Lol ur jealous a 55 year old man can get lucky and you cant.

[1FastFC]

Oh how grand my life would be if only I had 55 year old saggy balls

[Standingpretty]

Omg, that comment just made my day. XD!

[1catydid]

my cousin is 21 she's married to a 75 year old man, trust me it can't be worse than that

[euroboy1986]

So shi is a user? obviously any women who have anything with men 15 years or older are just after money. It makes me sick

[1catydid]

Naw she tells me EVERYTHING and she really does love him, and I do believe her, and my bff is in love with a man 39 years older than her. Love is unconventional and its f***in weird