Is it possible to be both insecure and promiscuous?

[peace-love-couture]

Is it possible to be insecure about your body or even your personality/character and to be insecure? For instance, a girl who maybe say, hates her thighs and butt(size, shape--whatever) and goes on about how unattractive they are, yet she sleeps around with guys... A girl who is insecure about her breast(size, shape--whatever) but sleeps around. A girl who thinks she's ugly but sleeps around By sleeps around, I don't necessarily mean she's sleeping around with anyone and everyone, but she frequently has one night stands, fwbs or short term relationships(that include sex). Is that really possible? Or is the person just using an insecurity for attention? Cause I notice people blame promiscuity for insecurity...but, I keep wondering if it's possible for a genuinely insecure female(in this instance) to be promiscuous. I mean, if they hate their butt, thighs, breasts, face or whatever, why would they essentially use if for attention in that sense?

[WhiteSteve]

i think there's a pretty solid correlation between insecurity and promiscuity in a lot of cases, particularly with women. I imagine it's somewhat reassuring to be wanted if she feels undesirable. from a guy's perspective, it's a lot harder to get laid, and if you strike out too many times in a row, you might start feeling insecure about yourself. I know a lot of guys who are into "slump-busters", i.e. unattractive, usually overweight women who are willing to sleep with them, and that brings their confidence back. the idea is that girls are attracted to confidence, and you might need to get some confidence back, however hollow, and hopefully get back to pulling lookers. never tried it myself, I think the idea of "settling" would hurt my confidence, personally.

girls are generally a lot more apt to find a guy to sleep with upon just meeting them, and I think some might just be hooking up to reassure themselves subconsciously while possibly being regretful consciously. but I think the concept of promiscuity is a little misleading. my girlfriend hates p0rn because she's convinced that every single girl who gets involved in it was a victim of sexual abuse and sexually objectifies herself as a result. I'm sure there are many cases like that...but I don't think it's that far-fetched to believe that some of these girls just really like to f*ck and/or see it as a means of easy financial profit. and whether you're doing it for money or not, some people are just much more sexual than others. I don't buy into the slut/stud double-standard. if you like to bang, bang around all you want, just be safe about it don't get yourself in any bad situations. no shame in that as far as I'm concerned. one of my female friends is as big a player as any guy I ever knew, and I respect her game the same way I'd respect a guy friend. it's only bad if you don't want to be doing it.

[Anonymous]

I've dated a number of promiscuous and not so much so girls. The ones who slept around were far less secure than the ones who didn't. The most attractive girls tend to be the least promiscuous, with a few exceptions. If a girl is hot and she knows it, she can "hold out" for the best quality men (looks, money, humor, etc.) because she has many guys competing for her, even before she puts out. Whereas a girl with lesser looks, her main selling point is often easy sex, due often in part to her insecurity with her body and the validation she gets when sleeping with a guy. This doesn't apply in all instances, but the law of averages plays this out.

[Xx_DRE_xX]

This.

[peace-love-couture]

Interesting I have a friend who is very promiscuous and goes about it in a messy way. She started out sleeping around when she was 13 or so and got her first STD in middle school. I'm telling you, absolutely gorgeous girl with a hot bod. I don't mean internet pretty or internet hot, but HOT as F***. I'm not sure it's insecurity, but I know she had issues at home. Brother raped her when she was 5, daddy used to beat her and busted her lip/broke her nose/leg/hip on several occasions.

[peace-love-couture]

So it's weird, but she's the most promiscuous girl I know. Anyways, thank you for your input!

[Opinion Owner]

Well, she has a history of abuse, so that's going to cause insecurity. Absent that abuse, it is unlikely she would be promiscuous. Girls that are more secure tend not to sleep around, including the ones with only average looks. They can't be quite as picky as the hot ones, because they can't keep a guy around as long without putting out compared to a guy chasing after a really beautiful girl who is willing to date her for months with no sex just for the promise of sex. It really depends.

[desidoll]

Good answer.

[Anonymous]

I, personally had a phase with this.. I was against guys because I decided they were only good for a quick romp (recently out of a break up when this phase came up) when I slept with someone new, it made me feel sexier because they didn't have the obligation to tell me that I am good looking. It was easier to pretend to be confident with someone, then tell them how much of an eyesore you feel. When they called back and it was I who had the option to turn them down, I felt a little empowered, and more secure with myself. Looking back on it now, I'm not proud of it.. but I did learn a lot about myself.

These days I'm still insecure, but I've found other ways to deal with it, because being promiscuous didn't do much for me psychologically but make me feel disgusting.

On the other hand some girls just like to have sex. And some guys just aren't good at it.

A good chunk of promiscuity, in my opinion, are people's insecurities just festering and it makes them feel better. So in a way, yeah, it's for the attention.. And others, they just need someone else to help them get off. Or maybe they LIKE the promiscuity.

[Anonymous]

Usaully girls do this to make thereselves feel beautiful and feel good about themselves when in the end there just hurting themselves.I had a friend who tried to proove herself to me by sleeping with my boyfriends...i can never trust her again or be her friend I do feel sorry for her though...its sad..hopefully she get well soon.

[peace-love-couture]

Now that right there is just a slut...most of the promiscuous girls I know don't do that, they just mess around with single guys/girls

[jpinka]

most girls have something they would change about their bodies but it just dosnt stop them from f***ing the mailman. it just dosnt happen that way. if the guy says nothing about your saggy t*ts for example then she will tend to think he dosnt notice or is okay with them

[Scoopie]

Yes, it's possible. In fact, insecure women tend to be promiscuous because they are insecure. They are like that because they're hoping it will boost their self esteem. They hope that by being desired and wanted she will feel better about herself.

[HandsomeRaj]

Good question. I'd say insecurity about anything especially physical aspects can trigger promiscuity. And I've found that to be true most time rather than the other way around.

A girl or person who is promiscous doesn't generally and necessarily get insecure. However, the other way round it happens a lot.

The insecurity related promiscuity is a tendency to keep checking out for oneself if they are still attractive or not, does someone notice the physical aspect of their insecurity and actually like it or not etc.

The sleeping around also makes them feel optimistic about situations and they receive a power surge of sorts as in after winning a conquest.

All this if the person in question is not addicted to sex or has some sort of OCD.

[WeaponZero]

Promiscuous people tend to be more inesucre I've noticed.

[baliguy11]

sure. most of us need some validation. if one is more insecure, then the attention and being sexually desired may be some comfort. I am no psychologist. just sayin what I observe.

[Dionysos]

I think more people would use the ego boost of having others sleep with them to try to make themselves feel better about themselves. Not that it would work very well...

[Dragan]

Yes it is possible. Insecurity often leads to promiscuous behavior. Such girl wants again and again, to re-check how much is attractive.

[Anonymous]

Yes it is possible.There are few exceptions but I know many girls that sleep around do it to make themselves feel beautiful and wanted.They feel loved where they feel someone is attracted to them.I am not sure if they know it won't last but I think deep inside they kinda have idea that they will get dumped.They just do it for temporary to gain happiness and confidence.

[Anonymous]

yeah it is. I know a ton of guys who are self conscious about some aspects of themselves yet they still manage to pull girls. I think part of the insecurity is needing the "ok" or validation, so to speak about the part of them they don't like, sort of an ego boost that they get from having sex with people. Most of it is just in peoples heads though. The more they concentrate and tell themselves negative things about ____ part of themselves the worse the feel about it.