My boyfriend doesn't masturbate but takes forever to finish?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is a healthy, 20 year old, he says he doesn't masturbate and I believe him because he has nvr lied to me. But when I tried giving him a hj (we just started doing intimate stuff) it took me literally over 20 mins. And he still didn't come! I am his first girlfriend, but he isn't my first boyfriend so I've given a few hj before, and I just don't know what to do. Is something wrong with him? Also he takes forever to get hard!

[brandonlee12]

well if he was your first girlfriend and he took a long time to orgasm and get hard, all I can think of is that he was very nervous inside. because nerves can play a big part in a guy getting erect and making him come in a short period of time.

when I got my first blowjob and handjob with a girl, it took me long time to come with her, and that's because I was nervous.

sometimes also handjobs do take a long time to make guys cum, some I would at least 10-15 minutes depending how good your technique is. the key to turning someone on is asking what turns them on? because you have to ask, because everyone has different ways of being turned on. handjobs just might not do it for him.

I think the key for you would be helping him to relax. if he is not relaxed he will not get turned on as easily as if he is relaxed.

Could be pressure -- even though you don't pressure him. Sometimes its hard to orgasm if your mind is on other things , think of yourself ... and how sometimes if your mind wanders to something else it takes a while to come, if it all on those days. Is there any stress going on in his life right now that might be making his brain not relax?

Does he have fears of getting you pregnant? Are you on the pill ? Is he using a condom? Sometimes fear can make a guy lose an erection/ and or make it hard to orgasm. Condoms reduce sensitivity, I say wear it anyway if that's the issue, and he will eventually get use to coming that way.

Definitely needs to hold out on masturbating, a lot of guys won't admit to doing it recently to their gf... for some weird reason but if he's tugging one out in the morning when he gets up, he's going to take a little bit longer to orgasm for you later. It sounds like he understands that so it shouldn't be the issue.

Any distractions when you are having sex? Does he know you want him to finish sooner? The pressure to come might have an opposite effect. Tell him you don't care when or if he comes when you have sex, that you just want it to feel good to both of you... if it happens it happens, and that's great.

When you feel him getting close, during sex, keep up with whatever your doing. If he's trying to impress and change positions and all that and is focused more on performance it will be harder for him to orgasm. You can also try (if you don't already) a little dirty talk, role play or fantasy swapping during sex to heat it up a bit.

[brandonlee12]

Men that masturbate are used to the firm contact and friction on their penis to stimulate them and achieve orgasm. A normal vagina is simply not tight enough to replicate this and therefore it takes longer for him to orgasm. This is normal when a man first starts a sexual relationship after being single for a while. It should go away as the penis is retrained to appreciate the less firm grip and lower friction of the vagina. If it isn't going away it is because he still masturbates regularly.

[brandonlee12]

sorry I don't believe he doesn't masturbate. I think he is lying to you, because your his first girlfriend and doesn't want to scare you off, by saying he does. the reason is because of my reason below.

[MrOracle]

Brandon Lee has it right; this guy is nervous and inexperienced, and when he has that anxiety tha the does, stuff doesn't really work well sexually. Plus, he's probably putting pressure on himself, too, because he doesn't want to disappoint you, or feel like a failure/less of a man, so that's just added pressure.

The good news is that this kind of thing tends to improve on its own with experience. As you keep doing this, he will get more and more comfortable with it, and will be able to relax more easily, and things will start working much better.

[Anonymous]

I'm a virgin so I probably don't know much about all this but you should have a serious talk about it. Try watching p*rn together maybe, see if he gets harder more quickly with that kind of visual stimulation... In my experience this is not really normal, I guess everyone reacts differently but usually just cuddling or kissing (even just looking at me) got some of the guys I dated really hard.

Anyway, as for him being healthy, usually healthy guys masturbate. I can't imagine someone not doing it. So there might be some psychological block here, I don't know .. Try to keep an open mind and discussion.

[sassyg1rl]

All men masturbate. No big deal. And it changes their sensitivity and ability to orgasm other ways if they masturbate a lot. Stop pressuring him, don't judge, and things will balance out over time.

[titoloco]

Quote: Also he takes forever to get hard!

He's very nervous. Anxiety is an Erection Killer. Give him half a beer, or help him to relax. He's way too stresses lol.

[Racez]

That can also be advantageous if you want to have long lasting quality time with him.

This is the effect if he doesn't masturbate because masturbation causes the premature ejaculation.

[trey10]

Show me the authority for the claim that masturbation causes premature ejaculation. I don't buy that.

[danik23]

Maybe the first time he was just nervous... try again, without any pressure!

[Anonymous]

did other guys have the same problem getting hard and taking forever to come with you? I know for me if I don't masturbate for even just like 2-3 days then I can come pretty fast if I want to masturbating.

[Asker]

No I've never had this problem before with any of the other Guys I've been with