Sexual Health
+1 y

How do you get a shy or inexperienced boyfriend to move to second base?

He's ready, and I'm ready. Plenty of sexual tension. However, we both are pretty shy with these things, him more then me. We are also both pretty inexperienced, again, him more then me. However, no one has ever touched my breasts before, so I'm not exactly experienced with it either. I have a small chest, so that makes it a little more difficult as well... I think? So here's my goal... I want him to become comfortable enough with me that he moves on and touches my boobs. (I'm not looking for sex here. strictly above the belt action) Just to give you a little history on our romantic relationship... it took him over 4 months to kiss me, just in the past two weeks he has started french kissing me (today we've been together 8 months). we held hands about a week into our relationship, and we've been hugging each other since before we were together. so... as you can see... we try things out very slowly but surly. And with everything that I've wanted to try (french kissing, neck kissing, intertwining fingers, etc.) he has tried and over time enjoyed. well... he liked everything to begin with except french kissing. but he's gotten used to it lol. so... knowing how slowly we've progressed so far, what do you think is my best coarse of action in getting him to move to second base? (If you pick option A, then it would be really helpful to leave a comment and help me out with what I should say... If you pick option C then explain to me how exactly I can feel up a guy without it being weird?) If I should do something completely different then please leave me a comment.
Talk about it first, no matter how uncomfortable.
Vote A
While deeply into a making out session, softly take his hand and place it on your chest or close to it. Inch it closer and closer as time goes by.
Vote B
Use your hands to feel him up first. touch his chest a bunch and run your arms up and down his torso.
Vote C
Talk about it first, and then do both B and C in a well timed mannor.
Vote D
Do nothing and let him initiate. (OR talk about it, then don't act on it. See what he does) Let him make this move, and don't push it.
Vote E
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
Updates:
+1 y
just an update on my situation. I sent him a message asking him what he was comfortable with, and he told me he wants to save that stuff for marriage. I asked him again and he repeated his answer. He didn't seem too open to discuss it with me. He said he wants to work on getting out of high school first and getting a job first and an education and all that other fun stuff. I feel like I'm pushing it too much when I bring it up so I just dropped it and we started messaging about something else
+1 y
so I'm having a hard time trying to make a move in that direction since he seems so shut down by the idea of sex altogether. like I said before, I'm not looking for sex, but I think that's how my question came across when I asked him what he was comfortable with. I didn't ask him specifically about if he wants to touch my breasts, but I can see him every once in a while (when we're being intimate) look at my chest. So should I still do B and just go for it? Or should I wait?
0 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • I have two thoughts.

    First thought, talk about it. Good communication about uncomfortable things is key to a comfortable, good relationship. When my boyfriend and I talked about it, I asked him what he was comfortable doing to me, and what he was comfortable with me doing to him. Even though I was hesitant on sending the text, I am really glad we did because boundaries are important. We went slow too, not quite as slow, but slow. We didn't kiss for a month, french kiss for three months. Heck, I couldn't get him to hold my hand for the first three weeks. I believe he did not touch my boobs until 5 months. But again, this was after our talk about comfort levels, which we had about four months. You don't want to pressure him in doing something he does not want to.

    Thought two, if you think he would be comfortable with it, move his hand on your boobs. I would do this while making out, and not inch by inch. I would just put it there in one action, then it won't be as awkward.

    I still think talking about comfort zones in important, but moving his hand will achieve the goal as well.

    My boyfriend had no experience before me. He did not initiate anything, if your boyfriend is anything like mine, if you don't initiate that you want it, you might be waiting a while.

    • So he's completely against everything beyond kissing? Are you okay with waiting until marriage?

  • Initiate it.

    Tell him what YOU want to do with him.

    • @Update - If sex is something you want to experience before sex then he's not for you.

    • no I don't want to experience sex before marriage. just above the belt stuff

Most Helpful Guys

  • Probably B. Being a shy person myself I would feel relieved if the girl just went ahead and did something like that, instead of him thinking about it but being unsure if it was the right time. Unfortunately, you are going to have to take the lead on a lot of things it looks like. But if you can show him that you are ready and comfortable with things such as touching your breasts, then hopefully he'll feel more comfortable and be able to go along with it and take it further.

    • I would still go for it and try plan B. If his reaction is negative, then at least you'll know for sure. Maybe he is saving sex for marriage, which is fine, but shutting out all other physical parts of the relationship isn't right. I hate to say it, but if you and him are not on the same page about the physical part of the relationship, maybe you should find other people who are.

  • Don't worry about breast size. Touching you will be a huge privilege.

    When you are ready, take his hand up beneath a loose tee shirt or other non-buttoning top onto your breast and hold it there for a while to he can't be gallant and take it away. Once he is sure it is what you want, he will take over. Ain't young love and exploration grand?

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 11

  • Choice D pretty summarizes it all up.

  • B would be fine.

    Another possibility is while making out, stop, remove shirt, resume.

  • talk about it or just help him along with your own hands when you are making out. Don't keep putting all the work on men, ladies. If you want something done,make it damn clear you want it done.

  • I voted B because I'm pretty shy to and that what I would want to happen. Plus girls taking action sometimes is so hot

    • yeah, I'm answer is still B

  • dont talk about it

    ask him if his heartbeat is fast

    then wait for him to ask about yours or just tell him yours is pretty fast

    take his hand and make him feel your heartbeat, but we both know you're making him touch your boob

    • hah! never thought about doing that before! lol

  • I voted A. And by the rate you are going, you will be a virgin till you get married.

    • Not saying that's a bad thing. Congrats if you do wait.

    • yes I plan on waiting :)

    • I was too drunk to wait. She ended up being the worst partner I have ever had.

  • surprised you were attracted to him

  • I choose B. I'm shy and inexperienced and my girlfriend (she's my first) is very experienced and she used B on me (the first time she guided my hand onto her breast, then another on her breast from inside her top, then another time she guided my hands to pull down her bra off her breasts)

  • put his hands on your boobs when you make out

  • Take his hand and place it on your breast.

  • do it for him...

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