Why do guys say they have to "teach" a virgin how to have sex?

[Anonymous]

Everyone knows what sex is all about, what is there to teach? Maybe a little practice, but I´m not sure I´d call it "teaching". I mean, how ignorant on the subject can you be? Besides, when you sleep with someone new you have to "learn" what that other person likes and needs even if you are really experienced anyway. I just hate how people say that virgins need to be "taught". What is it like? Do experienced guys just say "ok, you take off your clothes like this, then we climb up the bed. This is a penis and that is your vagina. My penis goes inside your vagina. Now you open your legs this way and I put my penis inside. Now move your hips. Now start enjoying". It makes no sense. Sex is not something one "learns" it´s pretty basic and it´s in everyone´s blood, we all know how to do it. Sure, inexperienced girls may not know how to perform oral or anal like a p*rnstar, but, do experieced girls know this anyway?

[madhatters4]

well you are referring to one or maybe a few guys you know so we shouldn't generalize that all guys do this. Afterall everyone was a virgin at one point in time so it is impossible for every guy to tell every virgin that he has to teach them bla bla bla... But overrall I don't think it's simply men who say this it can apply to men and women who feel like they have experience and feel like their experience may be helpful

if I'm giving them the benefit of a doubt perhaps they're talking about techniques for doing various things. How many posts on this site do we see (by both men and women) that ask questions about how to perform oral, or what really turns men/women on in bed, I want to please my partner how can I, etc.? So clearly there are a lot of people who feel as though they have stuff to learn or want advice



If you have a lot of people telling you thsi than I'd imagine you're hanging out with the wrong people. If one guy said this he may have just been trying to suggest that he has tips for how to make it the best experience possible and said it in a way that sounded condescending

[spike1point5]

well, I dunno. I mean there's more to it that just "insert rod A into slot B."

Lying there while a guy puts it in you isn't having sex. If it was, the sex-doll industry would be far more profitable. There's stuff like learning what feels good, if you move your hips in a certain way, if you push up at just the right point, when it feels better to be on top or bottom, if it's better with the girls legs wrapped around the guy or not, if she wants to pull him deeper...

stuff like that.

And as a side note, yeah, some experienced girls can give head like a p*rnstar. Or at least, what I would guess you mean by that, i.e. very well. I've never f***ed a p*rnstar, at least not to my knowledge, so I can't judge their abilities.

[Scoopie]

I wouldn't really call it teaching, but it's more experimenting to realize what you like. There are certainly some different techniques, trick and positions that you can use, and that is something you have to learn. The girl should also understand here own body and learn how to get pleasure, but that's something she has to do herself. Oral sex is also something you would have to gain some experience in, how to satisfy the guy.

[kambo_trick3y]

Just cause I know how to pull a trigger on a gun doesn't mean I know how to aim well.

[Asker]

That makes no sense.

[kambo_trick3y]

You're probably not smart enough to get it then. Not trying to be rude but that seems to be the truth. I don't feel like explaining it.

[Asker]

I understand what you that phrase you wrote means, I'm just saying that it the example has nothing to do with sex.

[kambo_trick3y]

It does, you just aren't smart enough to mentally form the correlation, that lesson behind the statement and how it applies to your question. There's a link, figure it out.

[spike1point5]

I think that's a fairly good way of putting it. I mean, Having sex can be good or bad, and really bad sex is worse than no sex, at least for me. So being able to lie there, that's pulling a trigger. Having sex properly, that's aiming (and, for more of a double entendre, riding the recoil :D ). Well put

[kambo_trick3y]

Well, there's one person with a high enough IQ to get the correlation. There's probably more.

[Anonymous]

The very fact that you need to ask tells me you have a LOT to learn. lol.