My mom is pressuring me to lose my virginity I'm not kidding she really is !

[Anonymous]

My mom keeps telling me that as a woman I need to start having sex or when I get older I'll be lonely and my vagina will be all dried up and I'll regret not having sex and no man will want me when I hit my 30's and 40's , I'm very picky with guys but I also want to date girls . My mom also keeps talking about how good it is to be married and have kids but I don't want to have kids or marry . My mother is very homophobic so I hadn't come out to her yet because I'm worried she will hate me . What do I do and how do I get my mom to stop pressuring me to have sex ? She wants try to force me to go out with this guy I didn't like Help !

[MrOracle]

I think your mom means well, but I also think she's very misguided and wrong to tell you that. You should wait until YOU are ready for sex, and you should have it with the person YOU want to have it with.

Now, maybe you have some fear or some other issue you haven't mentioned, and sure, maybe you need to do some work to get past that; I don't know. Maybe she knows something we don't, because you didn't give us all the information. Still, at the end of the day, it's YOUR decision.

IMO, you should do your best to move out and live your own life, and start making your own decisions without having her pressuring you. That's not easy, but it will help you grow up and feel more confident about yourself, and it will give you a chance to explore that side of you without having to feel anxious or pressured about your decisions.

[Asker]

When I was a teenager she was scared I would turn out to be a lesbian I was a big tomboy back then but I'm girlie now but she still pushes me to sleep around .

[MrOracle]

Know that roughly 1/3 of women go through a "bi-curious" phase, mostly right around your age. Usually 2-3 years later, they are back to only dating guys. IMO, don't feel like you need to "come out" to your mom or anything. Keep your private life private, and live your life, and when you're ready to be public, you'll know it and it will be easier.

[Asker]

I've been bi since I was a little girl my first crush was a girl

[MrOracle]

Okay; it wasn't clear if you "knew" you were bi for sure, or just had these feelings recently. Either way, that's totally fine. I'm just saying, don't feel like you need to define yourself to anyone right now, especially your mom who will likely be judgmental at first. Get some independence and do some living on your own first.

[Asker]

sorry about not being clear but I will try to get my on my feet

[MrOracle]

No worries. You'll do fine. Don't take your mom too seriously, and remember, even though she's a little whacky, she IS just trying to help in her own, twisted way.

[CollinR]

It's your life, live it how you want it. If you want to date girls, date girls, if you don't want to have sex, don't. Tell your mom to leave you alone and if she doesn't want to and you can't stand it, lie to her, tell her you had sex to get her off your back, or better yet tell her the truth and make her deal with it. I'm sure she'd rather keep her daughter even though she likes women than lose her over her being herself.

[Anonymous]

oh this is clear to me. she doesn't want you to be gay. so she's sacrificing you being virginal with you not being gay. She wants you to have sex with a man so you won't want to experiment with women.

[justme20]

wow just because you turn 30 or 40 doesn't mean you can't be sexy woman men still desire. Your mom has issues. Don't let her pressure you!

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Agreed.

[archer86]

Are you for real? In all my years, I have never heard an American woman telling their daughters to go get laid. Thought I got out enough to see it all. Guess I haven't lived long enough yet.

A part of me says, "GO MOM!" Another part of me says, "Your mom is crazy." Don't know how to call this one...

[Bvroon]

You should only have sex when you and only you are ready to, not for your Mom, or anybody else, there is nothing wrong with waiting until you are ready, so don't let her pressure you into something you don't want yet.

[Racez]

I think she doesn't want you to grow up being unmarried. Some women tend to fail in life because they don't have anyone to go to when they are lonely, no one to treat her, no one to make her comfortable, and no one to protect her from the cruelties of this world.

Also, people in relationship are generally happier than the richest man in the world who is unmarried.

I think she just wants you to have a happy life.

[prophecy]

i like your mom. she's right.

it's time. stop being a prude.

[WoIIie]

Your mom is in denial.

[masterkamasutra]

your mom is great adviser.

[John109]

Maybe she is the one who wants sex, like she wants you to do sex and then join.

[Anonymous]

so, did you?

[Anonymous]

Maybe your mom suspects that you're gay and wants you to have sex with guys to try to make you straight again.

[Anonymous]

You're mom is sick!

And I'm 33 and have a very well lubricated vagina, my doctor said so. And I haven't had much sex.

I don't think it has anything to do with that. Some people are naturally dry